Reviewer: titanic Signed [Report This]
Date: May 12 2022 7:38 PM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World

This story was a lot of fun. Despite the large cast of characters introduced in such a short time, I ended up invested in all of their lives and they way they were entwined. Dave in particular was particularly interesting; his story was so tragic and I was really hoping things would get better for him eventually.

I know this story is very, very dead and I'm probably typing into the void, but in case you ever read this, great story!

Reviewer: realRS Signed [Report This]
Date: April 27 2014 11:23 AM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World

Hey, heck of a chapter.  All of the tangents are coming together in an impressive fashion. 

There were plenty of times where I had to take a moment to remember who a particular character was, but it never took long.  They each have a unique situation and outlook that it always clicked in after a second.

Author's Response:

Thanks. I knew there would be a lot of characters based soley on the nature of the story. Aware of this I tried to limit the amount of charaters in each chapter making sure that chapter focused mostly on them. Until this point at think "Runt of the Litter" had the most characters in it at one time and that was because we were focusing on Tyler and his family. Sadly it still seems people are confused so I'll be trying to remedy that soon. 

Reviewer: Ackbar Signed [Report This]
Date: April 27 2014 1:10 AM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World

Very interesting and informative chapter. Seems like things might be about to escalate a bit, especially with Mary there since I can't imagine Ramona won't contact her about what happened to Greg.

Random thoughts:

Sammy is a good girl. That said, you have her age listed as 5 over in Runt of the Litter, but in a response you said she was 8.

Can't help but wonder what happened between Ramona and Greg at graduation. I can't help but think that Ramona made expressed not just her power, but that she could easily upgrade from Greg if she so chose.

Fuck Barbara. Forever and always.

Didn't see Sheila and Amy becoming friends. That should be interesting.

Even more interesting is that Sheila is apparently on good terms with Tyler's family. I wonder how much longer that will last, though, when she shows up at his party, potentially causing Rain to let his family know what she's been doing at school.

If Ramona finds out about Lauren's involvement in stealing from Greg, I can only hope she's able to do something to make it right in Ramona's eyes. Cause uhhhh damn.

A part of me wonders if Ramona's anger might lead her to asking Walter if he knows anyone who might have been involved in the mugging.

Liana's story was surprisingly cute despite the...cruelty to it. It's nice to see that she really does have some manner of attachment to Jack.

So really, another good chapter. Will continue to eagerly wait for more.

Author's Response:

OF COURSE SHE'S FIVE DAMMIT ...MORE EXPLETIVES.... that's part of the reason I'm breaking for a bit burnout and to really plan these next chapter's (stories almost over folks) I will however be reading and correcting all my dumb mistakes: double words to/too swaps stuff like that

Yeah that's probably going to br a side story......let's just say they had a break.

HAHAHAHAH.....HA!...heh...she's a bitch

Yeah makes you wonder what will happen at that party between Rain and Sheila who are both invited she'll most likely be there too

And then they'll all step on her...oh wait she's a giant too.....they'll lecture her with stern words and become......DISSAPOINTED!!

This could end a lot of ways the Walter siblings don't know Ramona like they knoe Mary and Lauren does see Rene as kind of a sister we know what the Walter sisters do to people who threaten their smaller siblings

.....dammit.....sigh....I don't know why I even try sometimes.........dammit

Yeah attachments a good word.

Thanks for the comment.

y

Reviewer: sketch Signed [Report This]
Date: April 26 2014 4:27 PM Title: Chapter 13: A Day in the New World

Wow, so many people are like one degree separated from each other.  Some are in for a rude awakening.

Not sure if Liana's story has the effect she wants, but at least she's trying.

How old is Sammy again?  Trying to get an idea of about how much Rain can lift.  Actually, how big is the rest of the family?  I think we only know Emily's height and that she's the tallest.

I hope Lauren doesn't get caught up in Ramona's vengeance.  I wonder if Greg does meet the family and if anyone puts two and two together.

Aww, is Mary going to shoot Emily down?  Speaking of Mary, I think you mission titled Megan's part.

Wow Dave's ex is more of a bitch than I thought.  The sad part is Barbara is somehow trying to do right by her daughter and is going about it completely wrong.

So Sheila is thinking of going to Tyler's party, with Rain probably being there, and she's making friends with Amy?  That going to be good.  I need to know more about her history and motivation.

Wonder if Water will be the next one hired to take out Jack?  He does need money.

Author's Response:

Wow this is a lot to answer( deep breath) here it goes.

It's the thought that counts she's probably opened up to him more than anyone else

Sammy's 8 and proportionally still a small child. Emily is the tallest at 187 feet but the rest of her family even her father and actually most class 2's not breaking 170 her mother is about 150 and all of her daughters minus Sammy are taller than her.

I hope she doesn't get caught up to but you never know how these things play out.

There gonna take this slow...also....AAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY DO I KEEP MAKING THESE MISTAKES! THIS STORY IS A PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!.....thanks for spotting that.

She's trying .. and failing

The party should be interesting to sat the least.

Who knows Walter's weird.