[Report This]Date: April 04 2014 1:40 AM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
I too enjoyed many things about the lost version of this chapter. The same plot points got hit, but some of the "feeling" was lost. Emily likes Mary? Awkwad! And could lead to some problems if Mary has to reject it. Ramona and Greg's relationship is portrayed as good as ever and I enjoy reading about it. Some of Walter's internal dialogue humanizes him somewhat. Can a loser who was destined to be in and out of jail for the rest of life, avoid that fate, even and despite all his power? Dave's daughter was the last thing he had left that gave his life any meaning. Losing her will probably accelerate the downward spiral he's been on since the original incident with Walter and the loss of his wife. His only hope is that his daughter fights it, which I think she's old enough to do unless the courts find a compelling reason to deny her wishes.
I look forward to reading more!
Author's Response:
People probably aren't going to like what happens early on but give it time.
[Report This]Date: April 03 2014 3:57 PM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
Author's Response:
Who doesn't like relationships? Yay a Greg fan! You might enjoy the next chapter which he is the star of.
Hopefully its a happy chapter, Poor guy has to live in a world where he's close to insignificant, i hope Ramona is good to him .
Author's Response:
It shouldn't be too bad. We only really know Greg through his interactions with Ramona it's about time we see what he does when he's away from her loving domination.
[Report This]Date: April 03 2014 3:36 PM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
I felt it was a nice trade off between the bits lost and the bits added in this new part.
The ending does pile on Dave but it is realistic, hopefully it doesn't get much worse for him.
Author's Response:
I'm still on the fence about the new chapter. As far as Dave...well we can only hope.
Date: April 03 2014 3:28 PM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
You know, mary was quite accepting of the revelation that anouther girl had a crush on her. Didn't stop to think about it just immediatly decided she was going to start flirting. kind of a snap decision huh? especially with how dissatisfied she seems with working for her.
Anyway, I don't know how dave's story will play out, but I hope the next words out of his mouth start with an F and end with a you.
Author's Response:
Yeah I think I handled that a little better in the lost upload. My hope is to leave it rathe ambiguous. Mary hasn't had much time for relationships or dating since she lost her teaching job. She doesn't know what she wants. It's guaranteed to be ackward and might end in heart break :o
Date: April 03 2014 2:25 PM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
I'm glad you were able to recreate this one, it's one of my favorite chapters. I think you recaptured the original and added some nice new moments.
I'm curious how Mary & Emily's relationship will develop. From the previous chapter I didn't get the impression that Emily was looking for a girlfriend so much as a toy to torment, but I guess in the new world there will be some pretty extreme relationships. I hope Mary is able to find a dynamic that can make her happy, but I'll be sad if Emily gives up the joy she gets from having Mary under thumb.
Author's Response:
Emily's true feelings haven't been fully discussed yet besides admiration, which can easily turn into other things and most people don't think about someone staying with them indefinitely because they like them as friends, but I'm just rambling now. Feel free to make your assumptions Ramona doesn't seem to have a problem doing so. Whatever I decide the power dynamic between them probably won't change much.
[Report This]Date: April 03 2014 12:51 PM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
Hopefully Marys comment on Ramonas stamina will help her appreciate Gregs effort a little more. I like the Greg and Ramona couple :) and hopefully Ramona explaining to Mary her situation with Emily will help spark something. Yay relationships!
Author's Response:
Who doesn't like relationships? Yay a Greg fan! You might enjoy the next chapter which he is the star of.
[Report This]Date: April 03 2014 12:20 PM Title: Chapter 9: The More Things Change
It was a good pick-up of the lost chapter. A few things were lost in the re-typing: I enjoyed the conversation on Emily a bit more on the first release of it, for instance. With that said, I still feel this is a good chapter on its own.
Fuck Barbara. I hope Amanda herself fights that.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the comment. I knew I wouldn't be able to recapture the first upload and didn't want to try some half assed attempt to copy it so instead I tried to hit the same points while making it feel different and adding more detail to compesate. That being said I'll probably never be satisfied with this...As far as Barbara. YEAH! FUCK HER!....she'll probably get exactly what she wants.