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Reviewer: Pixis Signed [Report This]
Date: February 23 2014 9:38 PM Title: Work

This was a really intriguing chapter. I like how you've dropped little clues about the nature of this world and its variously sized people. "The Fire" finds Omegas and causes their ascension. Betas can be born of Alphas and vice versa. I am very interested to learn more. There's clearly a lot more going on than the "shrinking plague" explanation that many new world order stories use.

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 10:28 PM Title: Work

This really feels like the story of the year

Author's Response:

Oh geez, don't say that. I'll blush.

Reviewer: KazumaR1 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 7:21 PM Title: Work

I don’t know, I think I like Marion being pure evil. I think she’s supposed to represent what the Omega’s are fighting against. 

 

Marion would be rotting in jail for decades anyway for killing 12 people. 

 

Reviewer: SpookyTaco Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 6:20 PM Title: Work

Alright, finished all the chapters so far and I'm going to keep reading because the story is interesting and honestly you're a gifted author. You expertly convey emotion with scene detail and character introspection. The only thing that bothers me is Marion. No redeeming qualities? Pure evil? I find that difficult to believe. But perhaps we just don't know her entire story yet. In summary though, I'm amazed at your work.



Author's Response:

One of my favorite little quotes is that sometimes, an asshole is just an asshole. Sociopaths and serial killers are nothing new, and I feel like I'd be trying to needlessly "grey" Marion if I tried to make her look better against my concept for her.

Thank you again for the kind words, though.

Reviewer: riczar Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 12:03 PM Title: Work

Thank you!  I like it when an author can answer burning questions within the story.  Like all the other reviewers, I didn't think my opinion of Marion could get any lower.  If things continue on this trajectory, she'll be lucky if she has a quick and relatively painless death.  But I would imagine an Alpha that couldn't be rehabilitated would be a failure to an Omega, so I hope that she can come to some nonlethal conclusion for Claire's sake.  By allowing interbreeding, the author has tied all the races together, so they don't seem like separate species and have more similarities then differences.  I look forward to more!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the kind words :)

 

I want to leave a little teaser about Marion's future but I'm just barely stopping myself from doing so.

Reviewer: sketch Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 9:28 AM Title: Work

A lot world building in this chapter.  For starter, it seems some force transforms people into Omegas, and it doesn't seem to have a specific personality type as a prerequisite.

We also learned that all the sizes can inter-reproduce with each other.  (When I first read the couple I thought 2 aphas produce beta children, not that 2 alphas expecting a child are there because the child happens to be a beta.  Little confusing at first.)  Interestingly, it seems a beta and an omega can not have a beta child.  So we already know Claire and Corey are step siblings.  I wonder if Ashley and Melody are biological.

Chapter notes: Claire doesn't think much of her coworkers, heh.

 Marion keeps digging herself deeper and deeper.  And she's not even there for most of it.  I hope things work out for Stephanie.  And poor Noemi, at least if they were mad at what she did it would be understandable, but it's clear it's all about how they look.

 It doesn't matter what she decided, Claire still has her brother's life planned out for him.  It just so happens that things are working out naturally as she envisions.  And "Best Woman"? Either Correy lacks guy friends, or the two are that close.



Author's Response:

Good call on the personality type, though there is a prerequisite of sorts.

 

Sorry if that was confusing, I'll see if I can't do better on those details in the future.

 

Melody and Ashley are biological.

 

Doesn't think much of Alexis, no, but she's fine with Kyle.

 

And, well, Claire never said she wasn't going to stop wanting what she felt was best for him. That's just how she is, she simply made the decision to support his choices over pushing her own. As for the last bit...well, he just sort of grew up closer to Omegas than he did his fellow Betas due to where he lives. He certainly has Beta friends, but he might not be as close to them.

Reviewer: Kusanagi Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 8:15 AM Title: Work

Very interesting to see Claire’s day to day good to see that it’s not all punishment but a lot of helping as well. Best part was we got to see Claire’s happier side even with her previous chapter with Corey it was more sweet and sad than playful.

Hearing more about Stephanie was heartbreaking, getting to the point where her father had to be removed from her life for his own safety. It’s going to be a steep uphill battle but if it can be done it will be very sweet.

Favorite part is all the casual reveals that were dropped into the story and there were a bunch this chapter. Yes Male omegas exist (though I believe this was first confirmed in comments.), yes Omegas were once something else, yes intersized relations can produce children and that includes omega/beta couples (have no idea how that works but awesome), beta genetics can carry over as seen with the alpha/alpha couple though wonder if this means Omegas have had beta children.

 



Author's Response:

It was nice to shift Claire back a bit for me. I'm hoping to get the chance to go into her personality when not working with the girls a bit more, even if I have to do it in a sidestory. She's...fun.

 

Reviewer: KazumaR1 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 7:30 AM Title: Work

Must be hell for city planners to optimize land use for three different racial sizes, but I digress…

Overall it was a good chapter. Nice of you to introduce Kyle and Alexis after Melody brought them up in the previous chapter.

Naomi must have super strict Asian parents if they disowned her like that and it’s terrible that Marion managed to destroy Stephanie’s family. I hope Naomi and Stephanie come out of this with a better outlook and that Marion doesn’t come out of Claire’s stomach next time.

So it seems beta size is a dominant or recessive gene that alpha’s can pass on to their children. Interesting…

What is more interesting is the “Fire” that Claire mentioned that made Alexis’ parents ascend to Omega’s.

So do we finally meet the enigmatic Dr. Everett next chapter? 

Also congradualtions on passing 100 reviews. Not many stories break that mark. 

 



Author's Response:

Expect the Fire to be a pretty important thing, and yes we will be meeting Dr. Everett in the next chapter.

 

And thank you. When I started this thing I honestly did not expect to get anywhere near this level of feedback on it. It is wonderful motivation.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 7:25 AM Title: Work

Nice chapter, I knew Claire would accept Melody as Corey's boyfriend, if he's going to date girls bigger than him then at least someone she knows right? 

Naomi is just unlucky she had a father who disowned her, not even knowing the full story, I hope he gets his comeuppance, Claire might want to try making friends with her or even getting her to mix with reformed Alphas, the former a bit unlikely unless Claire and Corey have a massive breakthrough and Corey is able to even forgive her for breaking his arm.

  Stephanie should patch things up with her father once she gets out of this, she needs to do it, it will be a clear indication that she is reformed and free of Marion's control. Good chapter where you expand on the storyverse. 



Author's Response:

Naomi might just meet some people if she can land community service :)

We'll have to see how Stephanie goes. She has the most baggage here by far.

Reviewer: CassieXian Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 22 2014 6:51 AM Title: Work

Holy character development, batman...rare for a genre usually filled with "excuse plots." More please!

Author's Response:

More shall be coming :)

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