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Reviewer: lilguyunderfoot Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: June 19 2014 7:00 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

awesome stuff

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: May 11 2014 5:56 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

Finally remembered to read this and... well, it's great, but after looking at the comments I guess you already knew :)

A few minor glitches: "every two will lesson yous sessions by one", "as lenient and we are", "into it's abode".

Because, you know, for one finding them sort of proves that I've been reading carefully, and also you need a really well written story for this kind of things to stand out and become annoying...

Reviewer: KozanShoku Signed [Report This]
Date: January 24 2014 7:13 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

this chapter...ugh it serioulsy made me sick to my stomech. Perhaps is she had severly injured her brother and went into denile about that not wanting to take responsbality for putting him in intensive care it would be eaisier. Child death is always hard to read



Author's Response:

If it's any help, the scene is not there to titilate in the least. It's there to be extraordinarily depressing and I had to take a little break before and after actually writing it because I was uncomfortable with it myself.

Reviewer: KazumaR1 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 11:38 PM Title: Compression - Part 2

Reread it again and this is what I get for reading too fast. Stephanie’s family was a tragic parallel to Claire’s family. I didn't even notice her father was a beta at first. I wonder if that event broke up the family. 

Reviewer: Pixis Signed [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 10:07 PM Title: Compression - Part 2

Your story continues to impress, Ackbar. When the bombshell about Stephanie hit, I immediately sat upright. Quite a shocker. Her dehumanization of Betas is a defense mechanism so she doesn't have to face what she did. I definitely did not expect that. I love that you are giving so much characterization and life to these characters. Even the apparent villains in this story are not what they seem.

Reviewer: Kusanagi Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 4:22 PM Title: Compression - Part 2

Wow never expected any of the three to come from a mixed family. Stephanie’s trauma certainly explains her shell and her denial. Trying to live with killing her brother in what seems like a complete accident would be a lot for a 10 year old to go through. It makes me wonder though if that was her biological brother or step brother in a case similar to Claire. Also what her current relationship, if there is any, is with her father.

It also makes Stephanie’s earlier thoughts are the more relevant. It wasn’t ‘just’ the size issue, it was that the difference between Claire and Corey is bigger than the difference between Stephanie and her brother and yet Claire doesn’t dare deny his importance. That might just ratchet up the guilt even more.

It hints at possible redemption for Stephanie, though far harder than Naomi, breaking her shell is going to take a good deal of time and effort.

Nice to see an additional hint dropped about the Omegas. Okay so it is reborn now implying Doctor Everett had been something previous to being an Omega. Doesn’t really narrow any of the theories down much but it’s a nice addition.

And oh ho Marion is in for it, hopefully they’ll leave Naomi alone though. 

 

Reviewer: pkong Signed [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 11:47 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

I have to say, your story has become my most anticipated on this site! I like how your trying to make your characters more complex than the genaric cruel or gentle archetypes.

So far we have one bullied girl with low self esteem who took an oppurtunity to bully someone weaker than herself and one girl whose mentally broken from killing her brother and copes by beliving betas arn't people. I feel like Claire is going to become a psycologist before this is over.

I kind of hope that the third girl, Marion, really is just evil, selfish and racist/sizist. While i appreciate your attempts to make the girls complex, i feel like this is becoming a crime where noone is truely guilty. You can't say that all bullys are really just misundertood people with problems, some really are just evil.

Finally, i hope after this last punishment section you start to add something you story really needs: exposition. I want to know more about the society they live in. What is its history? Where did these different sizes come from? How do they live together, especially in mixed households like Claire and Stephanies? We need some answers!

But anyway, this story is great and I hope you keep up the good work. 

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 11:40 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

And now a little sympathy for Stephanie I'm taking a hazard guess at Marion being the one whose punishment doesn't elicit any such emotions...at the moment.

Reviewer: sketch Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 10:04 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

Oh wow,  heavy stuff.  There but for the grace of God could things have gone the same for Claire and Corry.  It refreshing that that sibling relationship breaks the conditioning she's received.

Bad decision to let her friends in without her.  I doubt every omega can look beyond the revenge instinct the way Claire has been able to.  I'm extremely worried for Naomi if these friends get ahold of her.

Reviewer: KazumaR1 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 8:18 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

Damn we learn a lot this chapter.

What happened to Stephanie would fuck up anyone. I actually blame her parents more. They should have sent her to counseling. The chilling thing is that if Claire accidently killed Corey, there wouldn’t even be a body to find in most cases.

Also the chapter never said anything about Stephanie’s brother being adopted or being a step brother like Corey is to Claire, does that mean Alpha parents and give birth to a Beta child?

Don’t think I like the sound of Omega’s being extensively conditioned to care about Beta’s, it makes the whole thing less genuine if it wasn’t a fully conscious decision they made on their own, but then again since Beta’s are mite sized to Omega’s it would be hard to care about a species you can barely see. I guess Dr. Everett feels the end justifies the means. I also think Dr. Everett used to be a beta herself and that is why she feels so strongly about it.

I’m also starting to see why Dr. Everett gave Claire authority over the girls. Her conditioning would probably make everything seem black and white in regards to Alpha’s and Beta’s but it’s never like that in the real world. So far Claire has been wrong about both girls and even Marion might not be the monster she thinks she is. But I guess she’s planning to reenact what happened to her brother - three girls, one tiny.  

Lastly, Melody having a crush on Corey just makes me wonder how the hell the sex life of Corey’s and Claire’s parents worked, if they even had one. I don’t think their marriage was arranged just so Claire could interact with beta’s. 

 



Author's Response:

I'll go into the fallout of the death a little bit at a later time.

 

On the conditioning, it's less being conditioned to care and more them being conditioned to....well, Everett will cover that soon enough.

Reviewer: Altos84 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 6:27 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

Great story far.   Love the fact that ClaIre is so protective of her brother.   Also hope to see Naomi become a better person.  She  really does seen to regret what she does

Reviewer: Nostory Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 23 2014 6:18 AM Title: Compression - Part 2

Wow, I  felt bad for Naomi since she is also a victim of bullying but Stephanie killed her beloved little brother by accident and she was only ten, does Claire even know how he died? It is a chilling parallel since Stephanie is an Alpha and she killed her Beta brother by accident, then Corey could have been easily killed by Claire at any time. Inhaled, swallowed, sat on , stepped on, you name it.

Claire really needs to help her , she is in true need of help, more than Naomi. Shocking how two of Marion's pals are such tortured souls, makes me wonder if Marion is as broken or even more broken than the two of them put together.

As for Claire, I don't think she should let Jenna and Melody have a go at Marion, she has to be the one as the other two may go too far and injure or kill her by accident which is something they wouldn't want. She needs to be in control , no control and she is no better than a sadist.

Interesting details about the Omegas, seems each and every one of them is conditioned to look after and care for Betas, the Institute seems to that drill into them and I wonder if Claire was deliberately paired with Corey to make sure she has some real life experience in caring for a Beta, which would help with improving their roles as protectors and law enforcers. And if Omegas are not natural, can a person be born as one after the first ones came out and if not, why make little children like Claire Omegas? Easier to mould their minds?

Oh and Dr.Everett reborn as an Omega? Seems Omegas are not natural, ex-Beta or ex-Alpha in order to keep Betas safe. 

So last thing, I think it is cute that Melody has a crush on Corey and Claire, I might be falling more and more in love with her but she needs to realise a person's file does not tell you everything about them, she was proven wrong twice with Naomi and Stephanie, there might be more to Marion than she thinks so call off your friends girl!



Author's Response:

Gonne be mostly tight-lipped about a lot of this.

I will say that no, there is no behind-the-scenes reason for why Claire and Corey became part of the same family. Their parents fell in love and that's that.

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