Reviewer: Ackbar Signed [Report This]
Date: February 20 2014 1:10 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison

I've been debating posting this review for the past several days simply because I was unsure if I should, given that the actual content of this story/series is not really meant for me at all.  I figured I may as well at least get it off my chest, though, because I'm tired of thinking about it. This is more narrative and character analysis, and I fully admit that I'm probably looking a bit too much into my own tastes with it, but oh well.

I'll preface the rest with just one quick statement: None of the below is meant to absolve Scott of his culpability whatsoever. He fucked up bad, and he obviously has to eventually make that right.

But ultimately, he's not the only person in that house with that culpability. Judy is not blameless for what happened, and her physical and emotional abuse of her son over the course of his formative years lead directly to his lifestyle and what happened to that woman. A hallmark of abused people is that they tend to hugely fuck up later as a result of it, and that's basically what I see at play here. Narratively, I find it sickening that Scott has actually been sentenced to suffer at the hands of the person who is ultimately just as guilty of the crime as he is, for no other reason than the fact that his mother essentially made her abuses legal in the eyes of the law. It's essentially her manipulations coming full circle: She broke her son through her own sociopathic hedonism to the point where not only did he lose his escape from her abuse, but he lost it through something that society at large will pin solely on him because rarely do people look beyond the surface of why some people act the way they do.

It's why I got such a pit in my stomach over the falling out with Kyle: He and Scott are, in my eyes, the only two people in that house who actually care about that woman and her child. Yes, Scott massively fucked up in that talk, but I really hope that as time goes by, Kyle starts to see that his older brother is sorry for what he did and that the two people having their way with him don't care about the woman, they care about the opportunity Scott gave them.

On Maggie...

Well, I honestly snarled in disgust when she mentioned that woman and her baby to Scott because, as more or less stated above, no part of me believes that she cares. Judy's done a good job of raising a girl she can live vicariously through. It has always struck me that Judy doesn't seem to demand of Maggie what she liked in Ella during the first story: That despite enjoying the domination, she loved Scott as a person. But I get the feeling some things about Judy have changed since.

But, on the other hand, and this may be me looking for what I hope to be there:

I think Scott's apology did more than he may think it did. Maggie, ultimately, is not Judy. She is incredibly opportunistic, but I don't believe she has ever shown the sheer manipulativeness that Judy has, even in Boot Camp. That ability to always leave you guessing as to what she's really thinking. Maggie is honest, if not in words, then in actions and mannerisms. Most of Scott's fuckups with her come from bad decisions where he either refuses to read or react to her very unsubtle personality. But for just a moment there, her little persona broke, and I think (and hope) that moment might be genuine. In the short term, I don't expect it to do anything for him. But it might be a seed he can cultivate as time passes by simply taking any opportunity he can to behave a like a brother to her, whether it be potentially helping her with homework or just being the only person there for her to talk to if something happens in her personal life outside of the house.

Boy that was a lot of words about a fetish story.

Author's Response:

That certainly was quite a few words about a fetish story! I appreciate the thought you've given your opinion on this, especially since, as you say, the content itself isn't to your tastes (I believe I remember you saying you lean more towards gentle content).  Your take on Judy's culpability is pretty spot-on, and is definitely something I want readers to take into account when they see how much a winner she comes out of this whole thing. Even outside of fetish stories, it always interests me to consider the blame of outside factors when an individual commits a heinous act, either intentionally or not. Kyle is certainly the only member of the family solely focused on the actual victims, and as these stories go on he will come to be a little more in Scott's corner. As for Maggie, you're quite correct that she is not completely her mother's daughter. Judy is a power-hungry matriarch, and while Maggie does relish having control over Scott, her desires come out of a deeper hurt and adolescent emotion as opposed to Judy's purely dominating instincts; so, it is fair to say that not all hope is lost for Scott in convincing her to come around to his side as well.  Thanks again for your thoughts on this!

Reviewer: wildcatman Signed [Report This]
Date: January 22 2014 9:06 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison

Really great suspense throughout this... I kept wondering when Maggie was going to squish em'  heh, heh...

Look forward to more of the Stevens family, and Scott   ;`)

Great work Jack!

Author's Response:

Thanks for reading!  I definitely wasn't going to end this installment without letting Maggie stand on him a little.

Reviewer: Ackbar Signed [Report This]
Date: January 21 2014 7:42 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison

So hey, between these last two chapters I binged through Rise of a Princess which I had somehow missed.

I mean the following statement to be taken in an extremely favorable manner as it encompassed my thougts of going from Maggie to Caroline then back to Maggie in this chapter:

How the hell?

 

Author's Response:

Hehe, what can I say, I like a little drastic variety in my fetish stories.  Glad to hear Rise of a Princess is still occasionally getting some use.

Reviewer: el_rooto Signed [Report This]
Date: January 21 2014 3:31 PM Title: Chapter 17: The Real Prison

A millisecond after her proposal to apologize he would have said "I will" rather than just doing it... but I guess she didn't give him the time to think about it, which is good, because knowing he's unlikely to improve his position makes his apologies more sincere I guess (or at least that's how my mind works).

 

More seriously, I think I've written a few times how good you are at surprising us in a way that's just so OBVIOUS after you read it, so I won't repeat it here: my only criticism is that this one time it worked only 90% as good as usual, because it wasn't very clear that/how much he'd been a jerk to her from the rest of the series.

 

You know, I had to write that, because (again: seriously) you have no idea how difficult it is to find something to criticize in your stories ;p

 

Can't wait for episode 6, let's hope it will be in 2014!

 

Author's Response:

Thanks for all your reviews on this story.  I see what you're saying about the apologies he gives.  That was intentional; he's not really "practicing" it like she suggested, but rather just kind of stewing in his own bitterness at himself and the situation.  I realize I haven't given a ton of background on the characters to suggest Scott really was so terrible to Maggie in the years before; however, it's probably safe to assume Scott is just trying to make himself sound worse than he actually was in order to be forgiven more quickly.  And I fully intend for the 6th one to be posted in 2014, though I'm sure someone will call me on it if it's not.