Date: October 06 2013 6:17 PM Title: Chapter 1
Awesome story, your story amaze me as alway, keep it up. I would love to see a sequel/sequels. You could split it in to two seperate stories. One following the twins and the other following Penny. Please write it/them. It would be great.
Author's Response: Thank you, Zephilia! :-D It's always nice to hear from a brand new reviewer. Well, new to me, anyway. ;-)
Date: September 17 2013 6:39 AM Title: Chapter 1
CaryComic, this is a great "LITTLE" piece you've got going here. In particular, the amount of personality you pack into so few words is really impressive. While it may or may not be true, each sentence has a carefully-crafted, long-deliberated aura about it, and you've inadvertantly reminded me to be more meticulous with my own writing. Also, the details are fantastic, and two of them that I really liked are the throwaway joke "And, a non-Bulldog, at that," and when he claimed he was a tourist when he got discovered. The character is a fast talker, and it's nice to see that confirmed in his actions as well.
I don't have much to say in the way of criticism... maybe you could've included a little more description on how it felt for Cal (I'm his friend, right?) to be small. You had the one line about the fence seeming like a California redwood, but other than that, we aren't totally in the shrunken moment -- and that's what we're here for, right? On top of that, it would be cool to hear about being small in Cal's decisively cool voice.
That being said, you've put together a tidy showcase of excellent writing that every writer on this site can learn from, regardless of their individual tastes. I'm definitely going back to read your other work.
Author's Response: Well, as I just told Adam X, I didn't originally anticipate doing a sequel. This was just inspired by my own real-world visit to the Big E. Lots of pretty girls with great-looking legs up there! :-D And, for those who might be wondering? Yes, the Vermont Pavilion is really, truly selling something called "emu oil!" I can only guess that it must be the 21st-century equivalent of "snake oil" (the generic term for any placebo touted as a "cure-all" by medicine showmen of the 19th-century American West).
Date: September 16 2013 8:48 PM Title: Chapter 1
Very Nice, Cary! Smooth as eating a fluffy cream puff...heh. Oh, you left so much to linger in my overly introverted mind, and the fact that she discovered that her wand actually works, sprouted several more devious story ideas.... ;`)
P.S. Nice vids, thanks!
Your writing inspires me to improve my own writing skills, and whether you know it or not, I'm sure that alot of others are scanning your masterfully written tales just to pick up little bits and pieces here and there....
It aways makes me smile to see another addition to your list.
I would like to thank you,....this sight wouldn't be half as interesting without you, I wish that more excellent writers like you, enjoyed writing as much as you do!
Author's Response: I am almost speechless with humility. :-)
Date: September 16 2013 5:32 PM Title: Chapter 1
I see your muse is working in full gear.
That guy does have bad luck to be shrunk by accident. I wonder what Penny will do when she realizes the magic sceptre can really shrink people.
Ps I was surprised when you didn't comment on "the curse of the unaware giantess" Then again i don't comment on everything you write
Author's Response: My apologies. That egregious (I've ALWAYS wanted to use that word!) error has been corrected.