Date: February 02 2019 10:37 PM Title: Prologue
Just found this one. Fantastic story, I read it all in one sitting :)
Date: September 26 2013 9:28 PM Title: Prologue
I am an honest person when I read something. I am not trying to say that your stroy is bad, but to be honest I was expecting other type of development, well considering the title. I did not like the outcome of Dan. I don't know, I feel it was unfair. Oh well, you hooked me up in the story, except the last chapters, even though good job, I expect more stories from you.
[Report This]Date: September 26 2013 4:06 PM Title: Prologue
Gtswburg: great story, as usual. You may not actually live in New York, but the way you described the place seemed very authentic, at least to this infrequent visitor. Your descriptions in general are top notch as well; I love how your writing conjures such vivid images. I'm definitely repeating myself from previous reviews, but I really admire how lifelike your characters are. It's almost like you modeled the characters after people you know, thought about how they would interact given this crazy situation, and just wrote it down. While some of Dan's behavior really aggravated me because I would never make the same decisions, that was part of the fun of the story. He's like a real person -- and with that comes unpredictability and stupid decisions.
If I had to make a criticism, it would be this: I feel like most SM stories are predicated on some kind of intention by the GTS to willfully entrap or capture the SM due to some kind of vengeful motivation. I get that Kat would freak out and pass Dan off to his ex-wife. I also get that her friend might be the ditzy hippie type that we're all familiar with, and wouldn't necessarily want to rush Dan to the hospital. Where it gets tough for me is how Leslie and Julia interact with Dan; he has a real, serious, impossibly ludicrous problem. In many stories on this site (like the Chelsea Dewinter story you wrote) that problem is brought on intentionally and the GTSs torment the SMs gleefully. However, in this story Leslie and Julia move swiftly from trying to help Dan to callously dismissing him. Maybe I'm suffering from cognitive dissonance due to a purposeful decision on your part -- it's creepy how quickly they start mistreating Dan. Maybe your characters seem so lifelike that it's actually a disadvantage -- I can't believe that a doctor and an ex-wife wouldn't do more for someone they at one point cared about -- someone who is suddenly hit by this unbelievable affliction. Or what if I'm so unsettled by this because I'm afraid it could happen to me? I'm not sure, but I felt kind of weird about the situation and how it unfolded, but I also kind of enjoyed how you twisted around real-world expectations. So maybe this isn't a criticism at all: just an observation.
Anyway, thanks for the great read. Can't wait for your next piece!
Date: September 26 2013 11:43 AM Title: Prologue
Yeah I have to agree, that ending was very depressing, but I guess its kind of realistic in many ways..
Date: September 26 2013 8:57 AM Title: Prologue
What a depressing story.
[Report This]Date: September 25 2013 11:43 PM Title: Prologue
I didn't see that coming! I was hoping the shrinking would have rekindled their relationship, but that doesn't appear to be the case. Because of the title of this story, I think she's going to keep him around, but not in the way he was probably hoping. I wonder if she's going to have his doctor take care of him. Considering that doctor is her sister who doesn't like him, might make for some interesting chapters. I wonder if there's anyone who get take care of him?
Good story! I can't wait for more!
Date: September 21 2013 12:11 AM Title: Prologue
Julia is fairly nice to him and seems to care about his wellbeing at times, other times it seems like hes just an item to her.
Id like to see where things go from here, it does seem rather interesting.
[Report This]Date: September 04 2013 10:05 PM Title: Prologue
The long-awaited content-having chapter! Oh gosh, burg, I've been waiting for this for like a week and I know it's only going to get even better from here.
[Report This]Date: September 04 2013 5:21 AM Title: Prologue
Great story going here, you definetly got my interest Can't wait to see what kind of GTS Kat is....
[Report This]Date: September 01 2013 8:17 PM Title: Prologue
I'm Hooked! ;`)
[Report This]Date: September 01 2013 3:12 PM Title: Prologue
Ah! The old precognitive nightmare; classic touch. :-)
Date: September 01 2013 9:53 AM Title: Prologue
How dare you, gtswburg? How dare you post a chapter 1 with no size content? I used to think that I could trust you, but now, after this... I just don't know, okay? I need some time apart from you to think.
And you need to post the goddamn next chapter.
Date: September 01 2013 9:33 AM Title: Prologue
Yes, this is a really rich setup. Not being able to sleep because of women really sucks. Dan seems very relatable and I cannot wait to see his ordeal unfold.
Date: September 01 2013 5:37 AM Title: Prologue
Great start! Eagerly wanting to see how the characters you're setting up will humiliate Dan. You capture NYC really well. :)