Date: August 23 2013 7:24 AM Title: Chapter 1
It is said that reading is a good way to improve writing ability. Reading other stories will certainly serve as inspiration and I'm sure that by reading the stories others you will find ways to improve your own. As you see, in the reviews sections there can be a healthy exchange of ideas.
Date: August 22 2013 1:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
I have a feeling this will be a really nice story although the first paragraph is way too long. I reckon that could be at least three paragraphs. The first paragraph focuses on her getting out of bed, the second paragraph is after she has left her bedroom and the third one focuses on the description of where she lives. You could probably make four paragraphs out of it because you could split going to the well and preparing breakfast, if you add a little more detail. Each paragraph is supposed drecribe one, maybe two, ideas.
True, was bit to long, i splited it up a bit. Well this is my first story so i still have to learn all this stuff. Heck it took be ages to understand the uploadpage lol :)
Thanks for the preview :)