Date: May 15 2014 6:50 AM Title: Chapter 1
Brill could carry it on like going through cervix into womb getting trapped for time etc
I thought about having him push his way through her cervix and into her womb. There was certainly an appeal for me that he might survive alive inside her, without her knowing it. And I know that there is an appeal to some who are into unbirthing. But I couldn't imagine any way he could survive without suffocating. Overall I like this endinng better than the original ending where she swallowed him because it seems more fitting and adds a certain irony to his fate. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Date: October 08 2013 4:35 PM Title: Chapter 1
It unquestionably rounds out the story better. Turns the previous moment into foreshadowing, and "rewards" his curiosity as the previous reviewer said, with poetic justice. It serves the narrative better. I'm very glad to see you submitting things again. If I hadn't found you on big gulp I probably wouldn't have started writing.
I also thought it served the narrative better.I havefond memories of Big Gulp. When I first got on the internet, many years ago, I discovered Big Gulp and realized I was not alone in my fantasies. I am glad that my stories inspired you to write. I too was inspired initially by a writer Andrew Nellis aka "Poison Pen"
Date: July 01 2013 8:18 AM Title: Chapter 1
The only word I can think of to describe this new ending is.. AMAZING!!
Being a fan of vore I really enjoyed the original story over at gromets plaza where I've read several of your stories but this version somehow adds a bit of poetic justice.
I'm not really sure if I envy the poor guy or pity him. I only wish there were more storied that explored this area..
Awesome work and I look forward to reading more from you.
Thanks for the review. I was not familiar with gromets plaza. Interesting site. They had a link to Big Gulp message forum. That was the first website that I discovered when I got online many years ago. Brings back fond memories.
This revised ending appealed to me also because as you say, it adds a bit of poetic justice. And, perhaps because of its nature, it is not a topic that is often written about.
Date: July 01 2013 2:51 AM Title: Chapter 1
As always, I enjoy your stories and appreciate the detail you put into them. I wasn't as crazy about this ending as I was with the origional version- I'm a vore guy. Still, very creative and bravo. I hope to see more of your writing soon!