[Report This]Date: September 07 2013 5:57 PM Title: A Well Deserved Fate
Good descriptions of the predicament that led up to the shrinking and then the crushing ending.
But you glossed over all the middle part that had so much potential for detailed description of many acts of dehumanizing cruelty.
"The next few weeks for him were hell....beatings, humiliating and dehumanizing games, and having his entire body stuffed into the Indian girl's snatch every time she felt in the mood."
There could have been so much more to make this story great. : (
Author's Response:
I agree. Looking back I really should have stretched out the middle more, but I had planned this to be a short story and I didn't want to leave with a cliffhanger or a really long block of text.
I could potentually write an expantion, and perhaps elaborate on the many things they did to him.