Reviews For The Initiation
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Reviewer: Barrowman Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 22 2015 11:35 PM Title: Bad Impressions

Nice story about revenge and justice against overwhelming odds. What happened to Nina, should happen to all those type of people in the world and everyone who sympathise with these kind of people.



Author's Response:

I agree. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.

Dee

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 4:45 PM Title: Returning the Favor

Anne goes from victim to bully and Rosa goes from great mystic magic woman to weaksauce, didn't see that coming but still an awesome story.

Reviewer: Ancient Relic Signed [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 3:55 PM Title: Returning the Favor

Welcome back! Ann was a bit of a badass at the end, threatening a witch, and it'll be good to see how she wins.

I'd also like to see an alternate ending chapter that shows what would've happened if Nina's plan succeeded, showing her growing at the party, and how she would've won after that.



Author's Response:

Thank you!  An alternate ending is a good idea.  I told Mistress Anez about your idea and she told me that she was thinking the same thing.

 

Dee

Reviewer: Amateur Wordsmith Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 26 2014 7:03 PM Title: Coming To A Head

Nina is more cunning than a game of thrones character. such scheming from her.

Also I really like this chapter. Ann finally gets her break.

My prediction for the story is as follows...

1)Nina is trying to shrink everyone

2) If Ann wins then she'll keep Nina as a foot toy as punishment.

 



Author's Response:

It would be bad form for me to tell you what happens next.  All I can say is, "We'll see."  :)

 

Dee

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 7:49 PM Title: Coming To A Head

Wonderful to see Ann turning the tables.



Author's Response:

Ann's been through a lot so she deserves her chance.  However, Nina is not done scheming.  We'll see...

 

Dee

Reviewer: realRS Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 10:41 AM Title: Bad Impressions

This has been a really interesting series.



Author's Response:

Thank you!  Hopefully you'll check out my other works if you like this one.

 

Dee

Reviewer: Ancient Relic Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 24 2014 5:34 AM Title: Coming To A Head

That's a nice teaser and set-up. I expect brilliant scheming next time, on both Ann's part and Nina's part.



Author's Response:

Ugh!  Thanks for the pressure Ancient Relic.  lol

 

Dee

Reviewer: Ancient Relic Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 03 2014 9:02 AM Title: The Favor

Things really started to look up when Zoe arrived. It seems like a big payoff is coming. Then we see Rosa. It was established early on that Ann really isn't like the others, so in juding Ann Rosa made a big mistake. This could be the beginning of a great sideplot, if you revisit it.



Author's Response:

You're right Ancient Relic!  I'm way ahead of ya.  :)

 

Dee

Reviewer: Amateur Wordsmith Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 02 2014 9:44 PM Title: The Favor

The plot thickens? hopefully?

Another good chapter from you deelann. you should be more active on this website, we need fun loving writers like you.



Author's Response:

I believe there are about 5 more chapters according to my outline so yes, there is room for the plot to thicken.  :)  I have a lot of outlines to write on and sequels to be written because of the nice readers on this site requested them.  So I have the work to keep myself more active and would love to do so, but circumstances keep me away.  I'm hoping soon that I'll be able to.

 

Dee

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 02 2014 8:19 PM Title: The Favor

Ann hopefully has a way out but despite being undeserving of it this punishment was pretty enjoyable to envision in my head.



Author's Response:

Thank you AdamX for staying with the story despite the huge time gaps between completed chapters.  And thank you for all the purdy stars.  :)

 

Dee

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 09 2014 6:04 PM Title: The Inescapable End

Glad to see it back.



Author's Response:

Thanks.  I'll see what I can do to work on it faster.

 

Dee

Reviewer: Amateur Wordsmith Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 09 2014 11:41 AM Title: The Inescapable End

And about this chapter...

I found the dialogue to description ratio to be reasonable given the length of the chapter.

I also enjoyed the descriptions that included Ann's thoughts on her situation as it was happening in the story. It made the gts content significantly more enjoyable.

As for the story. I look foward to seeing how you will escalate this one. Will Ann get her revenge? Will Nina figure out how to shrink more people? Will the Heralds turn on each other?

I look foward to finding out. :)

P.S we try to host a writers meeting every friday in the Egiantess.com chatroom at around 9:00PM eastern time. We don't always meet up, but you should peek in every once and a while just to see. I for one woud appreciate your company.

 

 



Author's Response:

Hows come I knew that you'd say something about the chapter length?  :)  It's over 1,300 words which meets my quota.

It seems you've put some thought on the outcome.  That makes me feel good that you're interested enough to do that.

As for the meetings...I need to wait until things cool down for me and then I'll consider visiting.

 

Dee

Reviewer: Amateur Wordsmith Signed [Report This]
Date: January 09 2014 11:32 AM Title: The Inescapable End

Deelann! its been a while man, what have you been up to?

 

 



Author's Response:

I've been going through some life-changing events.  Between that and the holidays, I haven't been able to write like I'd hope.

 

Dee

Reviewer: Ancient Relic Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 09 2014 7:33 AM Title: Bad Impressions

"Sorry for the let down but as a writer sometimes it’s better to leave scenarios to the reader’s imagination." I too don't like it when things are glossed over, but you make a good point about leaving it to the imagination. I think the best way to do that would be to briefly describe what happened instead of simply saying that something happened, without details. Give the imagination seeds to grow. As for length, don't worry. This chapter, and almost all stories here, can get a fair bit longer without causing any problems.

Reviewer: AdamX Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 05 2013 12:00 AM Title: The Elusive End

Great to see this back.



Author's Response:

Thanks AdamX.  Any favorite parts?

 

Dee

Reviewer: Maximus Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 04 2013 10:44 PM Title: The Elusive End

Great chapter, I'm enjoying this story. Curious though as to why you skipped over the juicy part when Lori pleasured herself with Ann? That was a little bit of a let down as you were building up to it and then just skipped to the next morning. 

Not the end of the world though, the smothering and crushing her with her foot was great. Have no idea how you will finish this story but I can see Lori getting carried away and ending Ann. Lori definitley gets drunk on power!



Author's Response:

Hi Maximus,

Sorry for the let down but as a writer sometimes it’s better to leave scenarios to the reader’s imagination.  This gives the reader a chance to fill in the holes ß-(No pun intended) that is more pleasing to them.  In this case, you may want Lori to do something with Ann different than what you read; which also could be a let down.  I’m confident that as an amateur writer that I can’t be as descriptive as your imagination.

Second reason was because the chapter was WAY longer than I wanted it to be.  I know, that was lazy of me.  I hadn’t been able to write and post on this story in months and I didn’t want the readers on this site think that this was going to be another unfinished story.  Also, since I like to put chapter teasers at the end of each chapter, I had to write another chapter after this one so I can have one prepared for you.  I’m WAY behind schedule.

Third reason is because I had written some juicy scenes in previous chapters and I didn’t want to sound redundant.

As for how it will end…I’m not sure either.  Although I have a completed outline, it changes as the store evolves.  I have alternate endings on my outline to consider.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

Dee

 

Reviewer: Midgetme Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: December 04 2013 3:45 PM Title: Bad Impressions

Very good story. Looking forward to the next few chapters.



Author's Response:

Thanks.  I feel its a slow beginning but you've gotta start somewhere right?  I hope my style of writing suits you.

 

Dee

Reviewer: Xandar357 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 11 2013 10:35 AM Title: Bad Impressions

Thanks for your earlier reply, I must say that it's true. I only do leave reviews if the story really grabs me. This story definitely has, and I love the way it's progressing, but I'm sad to see that you haven't added anything to it since I last checked.

But I hope to see more soon! 

 

 



Author's Response:

Hi Xan,

The reason why I haven't posted anything is because life is kicking me in the face right now.  I have been writing when I can.  I'm not going to post until I get two chapters done so that way when I post the next chapter, I can give a sneak peak for the chapter after that.

Dee

Reviewer: hunterfury22 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 06 2013 2:58 PM Title: Enemies With Benefits

I was wondering if kanya can be the one shrunk since she is the nicest of the group to anne. And why did you keep on calling her hallie in this chapter? It got confusing. Either way this is my favorite right now. I do have a insole request. Maybe nina can wear here in her boot to class? 



Author's Response:

Hi Hunter.

To answer your questions in order:

1.  I was wondering if kanya can be the one shrunk since she is the nicest of the group to anne.

     If you remember, the Heralds were trying to create a bad luck spell on Ann but since the act of magic is exact and the girls didn't do things correctly is the reason why Ann shrunk.  It was by accident so the chances of them shrinking someone on purpose would most likely not be possible unless it was done by a professional.  This logic is based on giving this fictional story realism.

2.  And why did you keep on calling her hallie in this chapter? It got confusing.

     I was waiting for someone to complain about this!  THANK YOU!  The reason why I did that was to use a technique to allow the reader read from different perspectives.  If you look closely, I used the name Kanya (her real name) when she was being referred to from a narrative perspective.  When I used the name Halle (her nickname) it was during dialog (when either she was talking or when someone was talking to her).  Also, why would you give a protagonist a nickname when they have a real name and then not use them both?  I'm sorry if I confused anyone.  I was hoping readers would pick this up.

3.   I do have a insole request. Maybe nina can wear here in her boot to class? 

     Earlier in the story (I'm too lazy to look up which chapter) the girls mentioned that Ann got shrunk on the last day of school.  So Ann's journey in Nina's boots to class wouldn't be possible; not to say that something can't be worked out.  Unfortunately for you insole genre lovers, I've only put one instance of that in the story so far where Ann cried into the toe indents of Sheela's shoes.  I'm not an insole writer per se', maybe because I don't fully understand it.  I tell you what.  Since you called me out on the hidden Name/Perspective technique, I'll customly write an insole section for you.  All you have to do is help me understand where the interest lies in that genre of GTS so I can empathize with the insole readers on what they want.  That way, I can do a better job.  Also, tell me which insole you want Ann to endure.  Does it matter or would you like to have a certain set of feet torturing Ann?  But don't take too long.  I need to put this in the upcoming chapters in a way that makes sense.  The longer you take, the less likely I can put your request in the story as it unfolds.

Thank you for the good questions!

Dee

Reviewer: Littlelee Signed [Report This]
Date: August 05 2013 1:05 AM Title: Enemies With Benefits

Such a sensational story - I really look forward to every chapter.

 

Just a suggestion, have you thought of one of the other sorority girls being shrunk and used by the group, to help with the bargain of the other sororities? The betrayal of one of the girls, currently using Ann, would be great.



Author's Response:

I've gone beyond that.  There is so much plot to still unravel.  You'll see in a few more chapters.  :)

Dee



Author's Response:

I've gone beyond that.  There is so much plot to still unravel.  You'll see in a few more chapters.  :)

Dee

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