Date: November 07 2018 12:18 AM Title: There's Gonna Be Some Changes Around Here
all this story is about is girl on girl so why have a dumb week minded man I mean you should have him leave the adultress and start his own model com and have some revenge I dont know way pepole like the bad to be the winner
Date: November 06 2018 11:49 PM Title: There's Gonna Be Some Changes Around Here
why have the husbun be as dumb as a rock ,you have him more like a dog then a man you didn't give him pride ,why not have him whimper or why have him at all who likes reading about some week minded husban this story doesn't have a plot you should have the husban act more real instead a week and cowardly man.sence she's the only one cheating showing him that she hates him you seem to hate the husban too by the way you wrote him
Date: May 17 2017 3:59 PM Title: The Secretary's Distraction
this story doe's not have a good plot,why have a husban .Why make the man dumb as a rock,when it's a one sided story it makes a story not worth reading,is it just so she can be cruel to him that makes a horrable story
Date: May 18 2013 6:06 PM Title: Further Infidelity
"Climbing into bed, she suddenly remembered her tiny husband. Tired, likely sore, and still stuck to her toe, she briefly felt a pang of mercy for his situation, but it was extinguished immediately. She saw what he'd done in her dream. Even as she faced down death he refused to stay by her side!"
Date: May 18 2013 5:32 PM Title: Meeting Keira
"Thankfully there wasn't much left of the day, and the entire building was empty in roughly an hour. Always the last one out, Lauren was careful that she didn't intentionally hurt, or break anything belonging to or made up of her employees."
that made me laugh pretty hard.
"Watching Lauren abuse the power she'd been granted, both physically and financially was the sort of thing he loved to watch." there's got to be a better way to word that.
this chapter is a great turning point. I like the feeling of surprise she gets when she meets the model. btw if he was cheating, he'd be having more sex with her instead of less.
Date: May 18 2013 5:18 PM Title: Problems with A New Hire
still holds interest. Nice flow.
I don't know if this is just a me thing or not but "Lauren watched her leave, and waited for the door to close before sighing heavily. Walking back to her desk she sat in the chair heavily, and tapped a button situated beneath a speaker on her desk."
the use of heavily twice so close together. I'd think in the second usage one would find another word or describe her weight collapsing on the seat or the hinges's reaction.
on to the next chapter.