[Report This]Date: June 16 2013 10:38 PM Title: Interlude – the small perspective.
Rachel shrinks and the plot thickens! Its scary to think that Kate could be next on that list, and none of the other Gigas are truly caring of micros so basically its game over for them if Kate gets shrunk...or you know turns evil or something (thanks for that thought Mr. subtle) >=(...Anyway, im actually starting to like Crawford somewhat, he seems like a big softy at heart, so far anyway. Maybe you can kill off Gary, MAYBE.
And something else I gotta give you props for, THANK YOU for using spacing properly...I wouldn't be able to read chapters THIS long without that, although you might be using a little too much spacing for my taste and Im not gonna lie, sometimes it makes me skim around instead of reading. Maybe thats why I was fudging up some details in previous reviews I've done.
Dont worry though I try to read this at least twice now, I feel like this story is complex enough to warrant that. Im not much of a reader as you can probably tell, this website probably consists of like 80% of my weekly reading...so yeah.
Great story! Im still reading this and trying to not be intimidated by the huge chapters you write *relatively speaking to other stories on this site of course*. Good luck with this and I'll be on the lookout for updates!
Author's Response: Well, as I mentioned - the chapter where Gary's story ends is fixed and... it's coming. And it's hungry! (for anybody who played DS3:A)
As for Crawford - obviously "a cutey" was an oversimplification, but then in a way one could.. I mean, considering the enormity of the task that he was given... But more details on that will come as well.
On spacing: I find it a sort of uneasy balance between readability, technical limitations and attempts to emphasize certain aspects of the narration. I'm also still developing my writing style (I mean, it's the first story after all - not as an excuse, just.. it takes time, apparently :>) and I sometimes feel like.. a lot could be better - for instance - definitely too many dashes.. and dots... Not to mention the grammatical constructs not necessarily being the friendliest by far. But.. having to read it twice? Am I making it too complicated? I don't know - perhaps I should go back and clarify/review/simplify some descriptions?
When it comes to the chapter's length - I know, generally I'm trying to squeeze them in closer to 3k words rather than 13k.. but... Actually, I'll better write a couple words on that in a few chapters, right now it would be impractical or would give away too much. For now I can admit that much of that was caused by the naive idea I had at the beginning to arrange the chapters in bundles of 3+1 - it seemed nice and easy, but over time caused many problems and overgrowth anomalies (I mean.. many stories are shorter than 13k words, not to mention 18k... and I appreciate the patience :>), hopefully I may be able to keep it down in the future.
But anyway - huge thanks for the suggestions and all compliments!
Date: June 16 2013 1:15 PM Title: Interlude – the small perspective.
What I find rather interesting here is the way she was apparently 'downsized' or rather, how we don't really know at this point the mechanics behind it in more detail.
It seems like anywhere within the zones the system can differentiate between 'objects', rescaling them at will and no further notice.
( Though I am doubtful about how healthy such a process would be for a living breathing thing and the accuracy sends off warning flags for me )
Overall this chapter does well on immersing the reader more into the situation the humans are facing, as with previous giantess centric chapters there is a sort of detached way in how we are presented their world, but I am guessing this is partially on purpose.
Another angle this entire thing might be leading at is that the entire first chapter is in fact a red herring, but that is just a wild guess
Best regards,
fizzle
Author's Response: Just a couple days ago You were complaining that the super-advanced civilization could have figured out a way to contact the girls - and now the immigration is unbelievable :> ?
More seriously - yes, the whole dilation field is basically the least realistic part of the story, I mentioned in the intro how they were originally meant to only help with the sculpting/terraforming (hence various troubles with dilation and de-dilation - which mostly affect the people inside rather than the caretakers). The basic idea is that anything without wristcom will get quickly dilated uncontrollably, but Rachel was moved just like all the people before the shutdown. Well, maybe not exactly like them, but at least using the same trick with the field (also suggested in the intro). Some more explanations are planned much later, but obviously it all is entirely speculative - if such technology existed, we wouldn't be reading such stories, but rather.. well, you can imagine :>
Detached - not partially but completely on purpose. How could the others care about some dots?
When it comes to herrings, the readers should never know how the events will turn out - some sidekicks like that are there just for distraction and others are actually quite meaningful. So far two of three characters from seemingly unrelated stories of the fifth chapter resurfaced and impacted the plot a lot, for instance. You never know what are the results of the Rachel's paranoia... although she seemed more reasonable towards the end, I think.