[Report This]Date: May 18 2013 3:35 PM Title: Interlude – immaturity and manipulation.
Well, I tried to make Lauren seem somewhat compassionate as for the littles affairs - have I failed at that so badly?
Yes Lauren is compassionate when compared to Amber and Nicole. I did notice how she tries not to kill her micros and doesn’t force them to pleasure her. I do like how she finds what they’ve done to uTopia to be sickening. The other mother perspective I’m interested in seeing is Rachel, due to what you alluded to in Chapter 9.
I simply am trying (and probably failing miserably :( ) for this story to be exciting and gripping to read - and not just "oh well, another story, another crush/gentle play/whatever"
Heh. It’s really the strength of the story concept that makes it interesting. Most giga level stories are non-stop destruction and smut with girls that have paper thin personalities. Those types of stories have their place in the community but I haven’t read many giga level stories with a real plot, like this. I don’t know if I just sound too harsh during reviews. You’re doing pretty well for your first story.
Author's Response: All those mentions of her throughout the recent chapters are to create this curiosity before we start seeing her actual actions - I wish to provide something more than "Oh, the story talks from her perspective so she must be important, right?", the current brief plan states:
12 - interlude - some of the rachel's story, (spoilers...)
(with first chapter, the 0, being the intro - just like any normal, programming-like numbering...)
I went through Your other reviews and I see that You are being very generous (with average ratings of what - 1 star? 1.5?) - I only hope I do not fail Your invested curiosity (just like so many other stories failed mine - but I think I learned from that a bit).
As for an interesting story - it takes time (and chapters, words, etc - with every pov deferring the really deep parts) to build up a proper desire to know the characters more, to see what they do, what happens to them - the reason I gave so many "allusions" in 9th, was simply because I was worried that at this awkward "still introductory" point, it may seem like a sort of repetitious, giga-rampage and I wanted to suggest there is something more to it, before everybody bore themselves to death with the descriptions...
Also - I tried contacting You two times now (first with the deleted review, second after Your previous review - with some questions) - um, is Your email up-to-date in prefs? Next time I'll have to add this question about contact in the story notes or somewhere like that (perhaps the story itself, some recurring nightmares of a character being unable to contact Kazumi - along the lines of "Oh will I ever find You again?"...), so... I know I'm selfish, but if You could please find a moment of Your time to advise me on a couple things - I'd love if You contacted me back with a working address (or just sent an email on theybyinfrom shift+2 gmail).
But anyway, back to the pov+10th.
Date: May 18 2013 9:21 AM Title: Interlude – immaturity and manipulation.
And thus, we learn that the world is much, much more complicated than just “women playing with micros” - how will it turn out? Stay tuned for more
It’s easy to believe the world was simply women playing with micros is because aside from Kate’s chapter and the first part of chapter 5, you’ve used all the other chapters to show the “caretakers” treating the micro humans with complete disregard for their lives, treating them as slaves, imposing barbaric rules upon them, and killing them in cruel ways for simple entertainment.
The politics of the caretakers have not been gone into depth yet. What is the 3/5th rule? How did one woman become the defacto leader among the original 5? It’s nice to see the insight of a mother but it was still just allusions to how their politics work and the animosity “caretakers” have toward each other and how they see their own children as pawns in a grand game not explained yet.
I only know how the situation excites me a bit – especially imagining the “gratification” from the littles perspective – but I think it should be obvious and I do not need to necessarily pov it...?
You’ve been saying that we need to use our imagination to pretend how the micro humans see things from their perspective. I’m going to say this right now: I feel that is a huge cop out. You clearly can write from the micro human’s perspective. A giga giantess story primarily from the view point of the giga giantess is boring. A giga giantess is so huge that her perspective on human scale objects is very simple and leaves much to be desired. Telling people to use their imagination is a lazy way of saying you don’t want to write from a human perspective.
Personally chapter 5 is still the best chapter because it gave the most insight to how the zones work from a human perspective. As stated in the story, Kate and the others were barely educated on the inner workings of the zones and their view point is not reliable. I don’t really care if the main micro characters you make are killed in the very same chapter they’re introduced. At least they fill in the many empty blanks missing from the giantess view point.
I would like to see a recurring micro character at least interacting with Kate so she can learn more about how her own zone works. That could have been Adam if he wasn’t killed.
Author's Response: More details to come, no worries - remember that all chapters so far were from the perspective of their children. Look, if I explained everything from the very start it would have really seemed like a documentary...
With their graduation it seems some of them may be slowly realizing there may be something more to it, but they are still bound to how they were raised. I understand that this lack of information may be frustrating - and believe me, I'd love to just write everything down and publish the remaining 45 chapters... but it takes time!
I could explain some of those things more clearly right now, but the story is about the characters finding out about them rather than "deus ex machina" providing all the solutions - not to mention the other considerations (pointed out in this chapter, details planned as well) which made even the more considerate mothers being unable to tell them everything - and are you looking how the book ends to spoil it's contents? Me neither...
For the POV - you are right, laziness is no excuse... I'll try to add some micro pov to the chapter just before adding a new one (and write about it in the pre-notes), so everybody could go back and see their view.
Well, I tried to make Lauren seem somewhat compassionate as for the littles affairs - have I failed at that so badly? But yes, the girls are so far simply unaware of their actions - so far.
Ugh, I felt that some of those characters may have been overdone for side-intrusion... apparently too many details about his life, plans and dreams died with him which leaves (at least some) Readers looking for closure - let me assure You, his death was not pointless - and it will influence the story further (at least twice with the current plan).
I simply am trying (and probably failing miserably :( ) for this story to be exciting and gripping to read - and not just "oh well, another story, another crush/gentle play/whatever"
Maybe I gave away too much with 9th... I can only hope that my promise of explanations lurking later will be enough to settle Your craving for more - for now at lears.
Please contact/review again if You feel that I misunderstood, missed, ignored or lessened any of Your points, I value everyone's opinion greatly and wish to make it help the story be better. (so if its already awful - it could become barely bad)
And finally - I had to delete your other review (sorry - it was attached to 1st chapter and had spoilers for deaths), please just repost your review on the 5th or so or contact me if you forgot it's contents.