[Report This]Date: March 31 2013 10:47 PM Title: The Pool and Paige
Ah, yes... "she lectured down to him in a disappointed tone", that's much better, and feels better too. (Her being a GIANTESS, she wouldn't have to ever, 'Scream.')
You didn't have to go back and change it on my account though, I hope that I didn't effect the outcome, or the direction, of your work. Don't ever let anyone 'Change', your original 'Idea', or ideas.
It's a great story, and I really like it!
Author's Response:
Normally I don't go back and change things but I felt that screaming was really unlike Paige's character, and don't worry although I consider the opinions expressed in every comment I don't allow them to guide my writing
Thank you for commenting again wildcatman I have really enjoyed your support
[Report This]Date: March 18 2013 10:02 PM Title: The Pool and Paige
Hey Wordsmith, just realized I haven't reviewed since (2), so I Thought I'd chime in! :')
How BIG was that flippin' needle? My god! No wonder Kevin was freakin' out!
"What the hell is wrong with you" Screamed Paige at him,..... That would kind of blast his tiny ear drums out , I would think? If she was holding him inside the palm of her hand.....
The discription a little out of place, (maybe if she had"excitedly", or "Alarmingly" yelled out at him, ) Ya know? Just sayin", That's the only thing I really noticed though, just thought I'd give ya my 2 cents.....
Author's Response:
Thanks for checking in wildcatman I hope the story is to your liking.
As for the needle its part of a device designed to extract blood from a tiny person for reasons I will explain later.
you are right about the screaming thing, I'll go back and re-read it and see how I could change it. and thank you for the two cents I will spend them wisely
[Report This]Date: March 18 2013 10:32 AM Title: The Pool and Paige
Kevin-nee-Josh sounds like he's finally gone off the Deep End.
Author's Response:
Idk I think he's a little too sane for my tastes needs a little more self-doubt and psychopathic tendencys will fix that lol.
[Report This]Date: March 18 2013 1:35 AM Title: The Pool and Paige
It's pretty cool to be honest.
The mysteriousness of his situation and the girls origons gives it some staying power.
Author's Response:
Thank you for reviewing and I agree entirely. I feel that when the reader learns as the character does it puts them into the story, and hopefully makes it more erotic, but also interesting to read