[Report This]Date: February 19 2013 7:27 PM Title: Chapter 8
I like the story, I really do. You do good for the first time. The only thing I noticed is that you tend to 'jerk around' jumping from one subject to the next kind of quickly. That's about it.
I'm really enjoying this story.
Author's Response:
Thank you. I understand but isn't that better than droning on about one thing for let's say a whole chapter?
Date: February 19 2013 3:40 PM Title: Chapter 8
He could have asked to travel in her bag or her pocket. That would be much more sensible and I suppose, believable, because Charles might be crushed underneath her foot. At least he's going to work though.
Author's Response:
True, but where's the fun in that?!
[Report This]Date: February 19 2013 1:47 PM Title: Chapter 8
Really liking the way this story is going so far. Eagerly anticipating what is going to happen at work... However, at the moment I can't see this story exceeding 50 chapters. I hope this is not the case, but regardless, another excellent chapter, keep it up.
Author's Response:
Stay tuned. I can understand how you could perceive that, it's just coming up to the Chapter 10 mark yet and not a lot of ground has been covered in terms of the plot so there's still plently more I can write about. However that's not to say I want to drag this story out, but there's no point jumping straight to the midway point without building up a persona for each character. I do have idea's on whereabouts this story can go, even further than the outcome of the mystery messenger and Charles' dealings with the Chinese, but you'll have to wait and see. Anyway, thank you for the review, much appreciated.