Reviewer: Jim1989 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 29 2013 11:08 PM Title: Michelle's Room (part 1)

Nicely written.  I like how you let the reader get inside Michelle's head and see things from her point of view the same as Nick's.  I'm also wondering if Nick is starting to catch on to Michelle's true nature (even with his decreased mental state).  I'm curious if Michelle possibly foreshadowed her endgame objective to Nick - about forever changing him and making him submissive.  It sounded pretty ominous.

A part of me is still rooting for Nick in a way.  It's hard to not feel sorry for him whenever Michelle toys with both his body and his emotional state, though it does make for good moments of tension and drama.  I'm not sure if Michelle is gonna continue her playful (yet manipulative) charade or go a much darker route with how she toys with Nick (possibly do a total 180 in how she acts around him?).  I'm also curious if she's really bringing the principal into her plans or if that was just a bluff to get Nick riled up.

Curious as to what's in store for Nick in the next chapter.  From the tone in Michelle's voice, it doesn't sound like it will be very good for him (especially now that he can't achieve orgasm to ease his growing libido).

Again, good stuff.

Author's Response:

Yeah, most of the story until now was written from Nick's perspective, so it was fun to add Michelle's perspective now too.  And you picked up on everything I was going for in this chapter with Michelle's plans and Colin and stuff -- good to see.  Will post the next chapter probably early next week.