[Report This]Date: June 23 2015 7:47 AM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
I just can't read this story unless I have enough time and no distraction whatsoever, so it took me some time...
"I haven’t had the privilege in looking at" (is "in looking" ok?)
Just a quick comment; now if you'll excuse me I'll go back to reading, I have maybe 30/60 minutes left...
Author's Response:
I don't blame you; it's definitely a time commitment to read this story. Thanks for catching the typo.
[Report This]Date: March 03 2015 11:21 PM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
Glad to see this story being updated regularly now. Definitely shorter chapter, but it's like a give take thing.
If Julia captures them, will she hurt Jack? I'm not sure. If she doesn't I'm not sure what there plan is. Julia still has the others trapped, and she still has the shrink gun. If they escape the house they will still have problems.
Author's Response:
Thanks. The chapter lengths can vary greatly in this story; I like to try to find the more natural stopping places for events with this one.
You're right that there really isn't a good option available to them now. They just have to wing it.
Date: March 03 2015 8:45 PM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
Between when they took off down the hole and the end of this chapter, I was actually feeling a little sorry for Julia. The level of betrayal she must be feeling at our hero's sudden escape must be off the charts. This is one situation where I felt some annoyance at the first person perspective of the story. I want to know what happened with her right after they escaped.
Author's Response:
Probably an accurate guess about Julia's feelings. It's fair to want to know what she was up to right after they ran, though the trade-off here is that the three (and readers) can't even know what kind of state the girl is truly as they get ready to escape. Some of that will be revealed in later chapters.
[Report This]Date: March 03 2015 6:18 PM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
GREAT cliffhanger.
Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thanks! More is on the way.
[Report This]Date: March 03 2015 2:24 PM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
Oh, brother! Please, don't tell me one of them is GPS-chipped!!
Author's Response:
Now that would certainly be an unfortunate turn of events
[Report This]Date: March 03 2015 8:04 AM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
I forgot how much this story reminds me of two of my all time favorites; Summer Job by Cayce and Bugman Games by Solar Crimson.(that's damn good company if you ask me)
Anyways, I almost stopped reading this story when Brian's sister was murdered because that scene kinda through me for a loop. But I recently convinced myself to follow this thing to the end so here I am. Great writing as usual. You've done a remarkable job even though I may not like the general tone, I guess in a way I see myself as one of those remaining tinies hoping for a happy ending(as cliché as that sounds).
However, I don't want to try and persuade you into making an ending to my liking because that would greatly jeopardize the integrity of your story.
Julia is definitely a sexy antagonist that I can't wait to see more of.
aaron
PS I saw your newer story but haven't had a chance to read it yet. I will though.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading. Those are indeed good company to be in. I agree the tone is much darker in this one than in most of my others. As usual, I won't speculate on where the conclusion is going, but hopefully there will be some sense of satisfaction for it as an ending, good or bad. Hope you like the new story as well.
Date: March 03 2015 7:45 AM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
As bad as our three fugitives have it, at least they (unlike me) aren't wearing shorts that just got soiled.
Author's Response:
This is probably the one and only optimistic outlook they could be having.
Date: March 03 2015 7:32 AM Title: Chapter 65: Front Lines
"little pet' are save but still living dangerously... nice chap
Author's Response:
Thanks. Safety is only ever slight in this story.