Wow ... You did it again, i'm stunned!! I've read that story in one shout, and i'm still brething quickly. What a great story!!! That's just perfect.
I'm sorry, I know it will be better if I had something to say to help you getting better, like if I had noticed something bad, but there's nothing wrong with that story.
Lost In LA is my favorite GTS story. And you're the best man. Thank for having wrote it ;)