[Report This]Date: July 08 2025 2:00 AM Title: Inside the Depths of a Tormented Macrophile’s Mind: Act I: Young Blood
Is good to see another new chapter, Is being 84 long years since the last time i read somenthing new from you LoL.
Also sorry if i didn't make this review a lot sooner, i'm being having a few stress and anxiety problems during this time and wanted to distract myself a little.
I liked this chapter, i would rather it 8/10. Although I wanted to continue to focus on the shrunken bar, I like this dreams secuences from Anura and how we kind of see parts of his childhood and uni years and basicly show us that even his mind like's to torment him LoL.
I find funny and ironic that Dyvia has a pig called bacon as a mascot LoL, personally i would called Piggy or Hamy if i have one but at the same time makes sense because usually people who loves animals tent to have hundreds of them and some weird species that usually are not considered or see as pets. Fun fact; a old friend of my sister also got a pig as a mascot in real life, sadlisly I never meet that pig in real life and only throw photos on a phone.
I like that you continue to break the fourth-wall by references your first story (shrunken misfortune) in the story, basicly breaking even more what Is left from the fourth-wall from the first chapter to make sure that there's nothing left to break or break even more what Is already broken into more pieces LoL.
I also liked this new giantess crew, honestly the only difference I can spot with Ms Sweetling and Ms Fitzgerald Is that in this scenario, she is not a little schoolgirl and the second and most important Is that, she Is aware from all of it, I also liked this new set of girls Rita, Emily, Ava and Lily I mean the troupe of cruel school girls and teacher Is a famous one in this topic so i'm not surprised that you write abouth it. Also i like that you make them have around the same age that Anura Is having around this dream, let's see what is the next journey across Anura mind of madness.....
Author's Response:
Hi thanks for your review
Yeah the dream sequences I had to split up since they became longer than I thought though the pub sequence I have already planned out as well and it will be just as exciting and long. The dream sequences and nightmares are designed to based on Anura's past life experiences.
Yeah Divya has a pet pig which will also make an appearance in Antopia. The reason it appears in Anura's nightmares was because Divya confided in him about her fears that someone would kidnap Bacon away since he was supposed to end up on someone's plate.
You can think of Anura as an alternative version of me basically which is why I referenced my first story I wrote in school to make him write as well in this universe which brings the writer into his own story which is breaking the fourth wall in ways you never thought possible.
Yeah the vast majority of macro interactions had been unaware which is why I decided to write completely aware interactions which would focus on cruelty and torment initially. The trio of cruel popular sporty girls picking on dorks and nerds is a classic trope that I had lots of fun writing in all sorts of cruel interactions. The reason Anura is around the same age as them is because they were all around 12 years old when they interacted with him years ago so it would make more logical sense they he would be the same age as them. Ms Sweetling and Ms Fitzgerald are both teachers but difference is Ms Sweetling is a young teacher while Ms Fizgearld is quite a old teacher currently since she was born in 1956 and the flashback with her in Antopia takes place in 1964. Lily copying and doing what Ms Sweetling says with questioning it and her young immaturity and Ms Sweetling egging her on was a demonstration of how I wanted to show that cruelty is something learned through the observation of others, not something people were born with.
[Report This]Date: May 28 2025 5:27 AM Title: Inside the Depths of a Tormented Macrophile’s Mind: Act I: Young Blood
Hey LBP, been a while.
Contrary to the comment below mine, I believe Chapter 1 is quite peak, in fact, probably one of the best chapters you've written on this site. Some of the pop culture references you include are neat little period-appropriate references hehe and most of the times a reflection of your characters' mind, so, what they're thinking about. I'm afraid the set-up in Chapter 1 had me quite excited, not gonna lie.
Maybe a bit too excited because I feel like Chapter 2 in the contrary was a bit more of a slow burn. It was by no means a terrible chapter but I just felt like the nightmare sequence was a bit too much and could have trimmed down a little bit. Like, I want to get to the action with the unaware Isabella and tinies, already.
Character development and exposition is definitely important but I feel like the sequence in Chapter 2 could have been shortened a little or you could have made this long nightmare a recurring thing instead.
Looking forward to what you have in store, next.
Author's Response:
Hi there :)
Thanks for noticing the pop culture references. The universe that this story takes place in is basically identical to the readers/ ours which is why put references to Joker and AFL that line up with the appropriate time period. Mentioning Mckenna Grace, one of my favourite celebrities was fun to do as well and I do have a cameo appearance with her later on in the story.
The dream sequence was actually supposed to be one chapter but it became too long which why I split in into 4 parts which is why there is the Act 1, Act 2, Act 3, Act 4 to avoid the issue with the 120,0000 word chapter of Antopia where people told me they kept losing where they were reading off from. All acts have been already written and I will be releasing slowly over the next several weeks.
There are actually 2 other nightmare sequences and one cute cuddly dream sequence with his first crush Charlotte that will be released that I have already written and will become relevant later on in the real life pub sequence of story which Anura will be drawing from from his dreams as you will see which is why it will become somewhat recurring. The dream sequences will be just as exciting as the pub sequence. I have actually planned this story out from start to finish and have a range of pub interactions as well.
Character development for Anura will be detailed to be honest since this character is basically me. I inserted myself in my story lol.
Divya will be making an appearance later on in the story as well
If you want early access to the next chapters weeks or months in advance you can buy me a coffee for just $5 AUD on Kofi. I would really appreciate it. :)