Date: May 13 2010 12:26 PM Title: Eating Christmas Lunch with your Family.....Or WIll They Eat You? (18)
i love this story. i'm hoping for a very vorey ending
Author's Response: Vore will play a key part in this story, as well as many other body parts
[Report This]Date: May 13 2010 10:47 AM Title: Eating Christmas Lunch with your Family.....Or WIll They Eat You? (18)
Hmmmmm! So, he fell down, hit his head, and now he's small enough to fit in a serving spoon without being noticed? Either the impact somehow reactivated the process Bianca used to initially shrink him. Or, he's having a nightmare while rendered unconscious.
Either way, it's a heck of a plot twist! :-)
Author's Response: it's a serving spoon so its much bigger than a normal spoon. And hes covered in the sweet potatoes so he blends in with the ret of the food so he cant be noticed easily
Date: April 25 2010 11:53 AM Title: Spending Christmas Morning With Bianca (17)
great story
Author's Response: Thanks
[Report This]Date: April 23 2010 8:25 PM Title: Spending Christmas Morning With Bianca (17)
Well! Surprise, surprise; they noticed his absence, at last.
For a while, I thought it was going to be like that Richard Long episode of the original TWILIGHT ZONE, where no one remembers who he is. Or, even that he existed!
Author's Response: Thats actually a very good idea. i might use that in another story i have planned in the Very far in the future, but for this story I think I'll keep them aware of his existence.
[Report This]Date: April 23 2010 5:32 PM Title: Spending Christmas Morning With Bianca (17)
Another nice chapter. Keep them coming, these are great.
Author's Response: Thanks, I should have another one up in a couple of days. the rest of his family will be more involved but they'll still be unaware.
Date: April 20 2010 8:27 PM Title: The Party Continues and your Family is Unaware of your Presence (13)
Unsure what the random underlined words are for. Emphasis? Why not itallics?
Author's Response: i like to thik of it as MORE emphasis. italics only when you hint at it. underline is more obvious but severe. and boldening it seems the most serious when it comes to emphasizing the words. but i think i'm going to try to focus more on the italics and emboldening now
[Report This]Date: April 20 2010 11:05 AM Title: Bianca Puts Her Slave To Work (16)
EXCELLENT! Well worth the wait.
As for Jake's missed opportunity? Even if he had thought fast enough to attempt reverse-psychology, I'm pretty sure Bianca would have been smart enough to see through it...and say as much out loud.
Author's Response: yeah, it would have to be worded very cleverly to trick Bianca into believing his lies
[Report This]Date: April 19 2010 11:14 PM Title: Bianca Puts Her Slave To Work (16)
I was hoping you would come back to this story as I am really enjoying where it is going. I am hoping that he finds himself in his sister's furry black ugg boots again as I enjoy the voyeur angle alot. Thank you for this and I look forward to reading more!
Author's Response: I think you'll like the next chapter even more, even though it doesnt have his sisters ugg boots...yet
[Report This]Date: April 19 2010 10:49 PM Title: Bianca Puts Her Slave To Work (16)
nice to see this continued. Great job. The different perspectives and thoughts of each person were a nice added touch.
Author's Response: Thanks, I thought i would switch it up a bit and give the Giant Girl her perspective on things and how what she thought of things was quite different from what jake was thinking
[Report This]Date: March 17 2010 6:41 PM Title: No Escape From This Shrinking Nightmare (15)
Oh, he should be committed, alright! Although, not to his cousin's feet.
;-D
Author's Response: lol thats a good play on words
[Report This]Date: March 17 2010 12:52 PM Title: No Escape From This Shrinking Nightmare (15)
I really do like the where this is possibly headed. It seems as though, just as he begins to accept his life as her slave, she may have "moved" one to something else. That could spell real, deadly, trouble for little foot boy Jake!
Author's Response: your not too far off Jay, but just you wait and see what she does next.
[Report This]Date: March 17 2010 12:49 PM Title: The Beginning of the Middle of the End at the Bottom of Bianca's Feet
I obviously am enjoying this story. That said, the use of Jake and then "You" right after is really, really, really distracting at this point. It's starting to seem as though you aren't sure if you're writing a straight forward story or a Writing.com story of that uses the first person. Thanks for the update!
Author's Response: thanks for the constructive critiscism. im going to work on my POV's. when im writing i want to combine both first and third but i havent perfected it yet. i think im going to focus on one POV and only throw a hint of the other.
Date: March 14 2010 12:42 PM Title: Last Chance For Survival (14)
nice story
Author's Response:
thank you
[Report This]Date: March 11 2010 10:00 PM Title: Last Chance For Survival (14)
That was fun but felt a little fast and I would of liked spending a little more time enjoying each one.. seems like it could of been expanded.. also you kept switching between the reader's perspective as in you do this and you see this and switching back to jake sees this and jake does this.. it was a little distracting.. but I'm really enjoying the story so far, thank you!
Author's Response:
i made it fast because i wanted to get every girl in the chapter. in another chapter some characters will be more detailed but i wanted to get back to the main storyline.
also i noticed what you said about the switched POV's but didnt see much of a problem. i just changed two sentences but besides those, there wasnt much to be altered. but thanks for letting me know anyway.
[Report This]Date: March 11 2010 4:31 PM Title: The Beginning of the Middle of the End at the Bottom of Bianca's Feet
I have enjoyed your story. For what it's worth, I'm sure whatever ending you devise will turn out great. That said, and as I said before, I'm a fan of violent endings. I'd positively love to see him remain broken and defeated, giving himself to his cousin's feet. I'd love to see her then end his life by slowly crushing him in some manner, preferably using her feet in some manner!
Author's Response: who knows it could happen. i'll give more clues as the stroy progresses. i think everyone will like the ending
[Report This]Date: March 08 2010 9:51 PM Title: The Party Continues and your Family is Unaware of your Presence (13)
Well, I kept my promise concerning this chapter. But, the next chapter? That's starting to look a little uncertain.
Author's Response: thats okay, read as much or as little as you want to.
[Report This]Date: March 02 2010 9:26 PM Title: The Beginning of the Middle of the End at the Bottom of Bianca's Feet
I haven't been on in a bit, but I have been reading your story here and this is just beautiful. I love how this story is going, and it is just inspiring to read. Thank you so much. I really don't want to influence the course of events as it is more fun to read, but I really hope he finds himself trapped in the shoes of his family, especially those black furry ugg boots of his sister. The idea of a voyeur unaware approach is really something I love to read. I hope you keep this going. Thanks again!
Author's Response: trapped in the shoes of his family? thats what i planned from the start. i think youll like the most recent chapter added.
Date: March 01 2010 3:17 PM Title: He Actually Escapes??? But For How Long? (12)
No worries. I'll still be here, for chapter 14.
:-)
[Report This]Date: February 28 2010 5:56 PM Title: He Actually Escapes??? But For How Long? (12)
I don't what happened after "character descriptions." But, suddenly, you had one big run-on paragraph!
That, however, is the only flaw I found with this chapter.
Author's Response: Yeah i explained in the beginning in the chapter description that i ran ou tof time and had to leave before i could edit it. thats why i hoped everyone would understand and not give it a low rating until i finished the next time i could log on ( i dont have a lot of online time)
[Report This]Date: February 25 2010 2:10 PM Title: Under her Butt or Beneath her Feet. The Desperate Decision (10)
"...he might actually become the footslave to this...girl."
Yeah! And, Charlie Sheen "might" be spending the next two weeks in drug rehab. ;-D