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Reviewer: MicroThaumaturge Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: November 09 2023 12:54 AM Title: Ch 4. Taking What Can Never Be Returned

"I solemnly swear I have never harmed, nor intended harm, nor had a negative thought about the Fidelphi nation, or about Fidelphi individuals.  Please do not send the Reaper's Little Helper.  I've been good, I swear!"

Lanz officially terrifies me.  That's some hardcore programming, but that pales in comparison to his lethality.

(Small side note: I find myself wondering if the bullets used on the captive were not poisoned.  Or does the poison only affect bigs?)

Was the "I'll spare no expense" line inspired by John Hammond? It's a good line.

The fishing scene was golden.  I love seeing Lanz warming up and breaking out of that shell, and I'm impressed as all hell that he pulled in a fish twice his size without a reel.

As for the Eagle scene, it was touching to hear her almost confess how lonely she would be without him.  And if Miriam ever wants to play receiver on my football team, I'll happily send balls her way - with every expectation she'll take them well in hand.  Seriously, impressive catch.

Note to self: if traveling while tiny and at risk of being marooned with a giantess on a deserted island, always bring plenty of soap.  Preferably shaped to be wearable.

Miriam's intensity in taking Lanz's V-card was something to behold.  Very hot.  Very well written.



Author's Response:

Thank you for reading! I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter (and the escapades within).

I wasn't sure if I wanted to include the flashback at first, but it was so fun writing it, given how different it is from what I normally write, that I'm happy I did it. The line you mentioned was not inspired by John Hammond as I completely forgot about that part of Jurassic Park, but that's a good pull, and there will be references to stuff in later chapters. 

As for the bullets... yeah, that was kind of an oversight on my part. They are still poisoned because that's how Fidelphi makes all its ammunition for its military (given they are almost always fighting bigs, its more efficient to just treat all their ammo. It's really only special situations, like with Lanz, where they are targeting other tinies, and bullets are effective no matter what against them.) Now, realistically, the poison should probably have a stronger effect on tinies since it'd be a larger dose to their smaller bodies, but my logic at the time (which I definitely did not do a good job of expressing in the text) is that because the toxin is synthetic, it's designed to target nerve ends in the body part it penetrates, so it has the same effect on any creature no matter the size (again, have no clue if the science on that tracks anywhere outside my head, but I figure in a setting where people can be five inches tall, I can maybe skew scientific fact here and there, I dunno). Even though their poisoned and paralyzing, the victim still feels the initial shock/pain of the bullet entering their body before their limb goes numb.  

The football analogy was one of those things I thought of before I even fully figured out the context for it. Like, Lanz is going to be caught and I'm going to describe it like that because it sounds cool lol. 

Wearable soap is a great idea. So great that it almost makes me reconsider sabotaging the soap supply so you're stuck with an unwashed giantess (as you should prefer!)

Glad you enjoyed Miriam's "cherry boy hunting." I love that sort of dynamic and was afraid it wouldn't be well-received, but people seemed to dig it, so that's a relief.

Reviewer: imaybegae Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 15 2023 2:55 PM Title: Ch 4. Taking What Can Never Be Returned

The bit about Myriam's eyes was genius, imo



Author's Response:

Thank you! Yeah, that was a fun idea I thought of when I first described Lanz's eyes back in chapter 1. Seemed like a good parallel to draw lol.

Reviewer: Musukaiser Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 15 2023 10:04 AM Title: Ch 4. Taking What Can Never Be Returned

Damn this was one hell of a read, just discovered this story and loved every second of it. You’re writing skills are immaculate.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! That's really nice of you to say.

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