[Report This]Date: September 29 2023 7:23 AM Title: Finding the Path
You know, one of the benefits of the once-every-two-weeks chapter delivery is that I feel like this story is already a lot longer than it actually is. Are we really only four chapters in?! I feel like I've known these characters forever.
I'm a big fan of the way you write dream sequences. I felt like they added a lot in Amazon Country (even beyond the smut stuff), and entranced by this one here. Yeah, we've had the visions from the fruit that give off a dream-like vibe, but this scene felt different from those. I love the little details, like Mika's dad caring about burning the burgers and using the spatula to gesture to Chloe. It's like even though he knows this isn't real, he wants to preserve the future he thought he was going to have with his family. So not only did it make the scene feel more "real," but it had a bit of a sorrowful undertone to it as well, which is fitting, since it also provides Mika with the chance to say goodbye to his parents.
I also both love and hate that we didn't get to hear the conversation between Chloe and Mika's mom. Did Mika's mom want to "vet" Mika's new girlfriend? Was she concerned about Chloe's intentions with her son? Maybe she just wanted to meet the love of Mika's life (they haven't known each other that long, but things are pretty intense between them, I think)? Or she could have been imparting information that Chloe will need later, like Mika's dad was doing with him. Without hearing the conversation ourselves, we don't really know anything, well, except that Mika's mom is funny. I think it's good writing to leave it up to the reader to speculate. As the reader, however, I really wanna know! Come on!
But the most significant part of the dream, to me, was Chloe acknowledging that she was aware that she scares Mika. Given her bubbly personality and fledgling knowledge about humans, I was a bit surprised that she had pieced that together, even despite Mika showing her enough that it makes sense that she could. I guess I underestimated how perceptive she is.
I also found it both endearing and a bit sad that Chloe thinks that she needs to be human to make Mika more comfortable around her. That question, "Do you like me better like this?" is kind of haunting in a way. She feels she has to change who she is to be with Mika. I do like Mika's answer, though. It's okay to be scared of the giant man-eating snake lady, but that doesn't mean that he can't love her, too.
I also think Chloe's change also represents her slow journey toward developing a sense of ethics. She knows she scares Mika, but I don't know that she knows exactly why she scares him yet. I'm sure her being human for a while in the real world will help on her way in that regard.
We almost saw Chloe make some progress on that ethics quest at the start of the chapter. If that mercenary hadn't been dumb enough to still talk like they were going to take Mika AND insult the person whose belly they were in, it was starting to look like Chloe might have let them out. Instead, he just reinforced her "it's cool to eat bad guys" mentality. I mean, at that point, Mika couldn't even defend them.
Emelia continues to be really interesting. It still seems like she's working against Ouroboros, which begs the question of who she is working for. Then again, she might only be trying to sabotage Yukia to move up in the organization. I don't think this is as likely, but we don't really know enough to rule it out yet. Also, her mind fuck powers are a lot of fun!
And yes, I agree with Mika. Aroused was the classiest option in that word grouping. Although, personally, I would have went with concupiscent. Just another one of those everyday words that everybody says!
We've got to find a way to make Oklahoma distinguishable from the mercs. We can't have her getting eaten on accident after all. Maybe if, in addition to a gun, she had some sort of different, whip-like weapon she could use. I doubt the bad guys have any of those.
A fedora could work, too.
I wonder how long Chloe's human form will last this time. It would be a shame if she turned back into a giant snake lady in the middle of a town. Or maybe she can stay human long enough to learn how to walk. Who knows?
Author's Response:
Yeah Mika almost had her realizing that eating people wasn't a good thing before someone opened his mouth and pissed her off. Once they get into a more populated human area without as many bad guys Chloe's going to have to learn the ins and outs of ethics pretty quick.
Also yeah it would be a shame if Chloe lost her human form and returned to a giant snake woman in the middle of a city, wouldn't it?