Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: April 27 2024 6:31 AM Title: The Temple of Eternity

Is it just me, or does Natasha really love France?

I have to admit, I wasn't expecting Cécilia and Gloria to step back into the story this late, let alone play such vital roles in the final battle. It was a really nice surprise, especially with Cécilia being the one to give Oklahoma the pep talk she so desperately needed in that moment. And seeing just how Gloria has pulled off getting into all of these secret, high-security locations was absolutely hilarious. I also love how she just walked up to Chloé and Higgins asking what their plan was, fully expecting that to work (like, why wouldn't it?).

It was a minor thing, but it was neat to hear that there were Nekos on both sides at the Alamo. It was also kind of funny to see Oklahoma show empathy for her enemy last chapter and anger toward an ally this chapter over it. It was interesting to see her patriotism factored into her emotions like that.

I think you did a great job of showing Chloé and Higgins learn to trust each other on the fly. Having them do so in such a short span ran the risk of it not making sense and feeling like a major plot hole put in place just to advance the story. However, to me, the back and forth between them at the start, Gloria's appearance and their reaction to her, and their strategizing session on the way to Brazil were all designed to make this transition feel natural, and the way this union comes about makes a lot of sense when all of that is weighed in with the urgency of the situation.

The idea to have human Chloé smuggle in the mercenaries and their arsenal in her stomach was a brilliant one, both because of its creativity and how this idea was subtly set up in previous chapters. It also shows how quickly the trust between the had to form, as, even with things being as dire as they are, I couldn't see Higgins and company doing this without some level of personal connection (no matter how brief or flimsy that connection may be) being there.

Yukia was once again quite intriguing. So now she has gone fully against Natasha (even if she was going to wait until Natasha shrank all the humans to strike), and she knows deep down that she's doing it for Higgins, even if she can't actually admit that to herself. And now Higgins is in denial, too, telling himself that he's "kicking the can down the road" rather than accept the real reason why he couldn't pull the trigger. And Yukia giggling like a crazy person and running away in that situation fits her character as well as anything she has done in this story, I think.

Again, as I said in my last review, your writing for the action scenes is top notch. That's no less true here, and I feel like you captured the struggle of Chloé and company well in this climactic battle. Oklahoma and Cécilia flying in to save the day certainly kept up with Oklahoma's Han Solo vibes.

You know, I think Celia from Neet of the Living Dead is still my favorite villain that you've written (at least from your works that I've read so far), but Natasha isn't too far behind her. She's ruthless and cold-blooded, yet disciplined and tactical, and the casual, almost uncaring way she taunts her enemies, as though they're not worth the effort of showing too much emotion or digging too deep to hurt them, makes her feel dangerous and superior. She shows off her particular brand of sinister quite well in the brief segments with Mika, Emilie and her here.

It looks like next chapter is going to be the big one, and I'm curious to seek how exactly the climax plays out. I'm not sure how, but I've got a feeling that old-school nuke might just come into play at some point ...

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: March 03 2024 3:37 AM Title: The Temple of Truth

I think it was a good decision to have this whole chapter focus on Mika and Chloé. Jumping around between characters in previous chapters has been both fun and good for the pacing of the story, but taking the time to clear the air between our two protagonists after everything they've both been processing these past few chapters.

I especially like that this chapter kind of closed out the "I love you just the way you" theme that's been woven so well into the fabric of the story. Mika finally made clear that he prefers Chloé's true form to her human one (even if the latter has its own appeal, as well). It was really sweet that she was willing to stay human for as long as possible because that's what she thought he wanted, but we've already seen how much she struggles when she stays in that firm too long (and doesn't eat properly). That sacrifice, while showing true devotion to her chosen partner, would have left her miserable. That Mika loves her Naga form and accepts what (who) she is means that both of them can be happy together.

And again, this problem originated from Chloé taking Mika's use of the word monster. I've mentioned this before, but her still thinking he wants her to be human shows just how deep that word cut her. It just goes to show how impactful a simple miscommunication can be in a relationship.

You know, I've never been too interested in full tour, but you gradually drew me into it throughout the story. Your descriptions of each stage of Chloé's digestive tract have been clear yet creative, and you've reiterated key details of the trip each time Mika has gone deeper inside her. And the trip through her intestines was surprisingly sensual and deeply meaningful. Really well done!

I was wondering, though, could Mika take a "shortcut" to that ancient knowledge by going in directly through her anus or is the journey just as important as the destination? I know it's a moot point since Chloé won't let him anywhere near that thing (and he likes going down her throat), but maybe he she'd be cool with him going in while in her human firm and transforming after he's in there?

I really like that our heroes are diverging from the path laid out for them. This whole time, the story has kind of had a manifest destiny kind of vibe. There was nothing wrong with that, but seeing Chloé and Mika stump the goddess and throw a monkey wrench into the grand design was pretty refreshing and unexpected. Finding out the Naga were planning for a world without either the Neko or themselves was really intriguing, and I love how much such a goal contrasts with the Neko's plan to eat all the humans and live forever. It draws a really clear line between who's good and who's bad.

I love that Chloé is looking to find a way to insert herself into the Neko mating process. She's willing to share if the reason is good enough, but only if she gets to be involved too. I'm curious how Emilie, who's basically the grandma of the group, will feel about that.

And I agree that Oklahoma could give them some ... direction in this area. I'm not sure if it will be her idea or Chloé's, but I get the feeling that this is going to involve either a kaiju-sized lover or a tiny one (or maybe both). If it's the former, that could get interesting, given how uneasy Emilie feels around Chloé's Naga form.

Author's Response: Yeah, for a moment Chloe and Mika completely upended the Goddess's plans, the Naga's grand scheme would have likely ended with a world with only humanity left, which they find acceptable since they like us. The Neko plan obviously is pretty evil and ultimately self destructive, Emilie pretty much gave them a way to save themselves and Natasha would rather throw it away on chasing her millennia long vengeance schemes.

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: January 27 2024 9:15 PM Title: The Temple of Destiny

Oklahoma continues to low-key throw out great one-liners. Between that and keeping the academics alive, she may well be the most vital part of team only eat the bad humans.

This was obviously a pretty big chapter for Mika. His feelings on Chloé eating people have always been complicated (mostly negative but sometimes with excuses for her), and now it feels like all the cards are on the table. Now Chloé knows why Mika has a problem with it, that it's nit just her killing people but that she seems to view his kind as food (even if that doesn't apply to him personally). It's his love for her that makes this so hard for him to accept what she is, because, despite what he said, he can't stop loving her even if he believes that she's evil. I think this is why he was at peace when he thought he was going to die; he could neither accept nor reject her, so simply becoming a part of her takes away that struggle (and everything else).

The snake goddess's answer to this is absolutely perfect. Mika tells her that Chloé broke her promise, and the goddess basically says "uh, Duh?" Mika's intentions with changing Chloé have always been good, but the truth is that he has been trying to fundamentally change who she is based on his moral values, which never works in a relationship. Even if he hates that Chloé eats humans, that's a part of her, and if he loves her he had to accept that. He's still struggling with that a bit now, but I think he's on the right path.

And that struggle just so happens to maje him the perfect person to play the judge and jury to Chloé's executioner.

I thought the transformation trick to get into Chloé's second stomach was creative and really clever. I also cracked up when Mika proclaimed that Chloé's stomachs were his. It was symbolic and made sense, but it was more the way he said it.

Yukia continues to intrigue me. I keep wondering what she would be like without the curse. I mean, she'd be kind of crazy either way, I think, but maybe in a more fun-loving sense. The fact that she stood up for Higgins, to me, shows there's at least some good in her. And the fact that she kissed him makes me curious (getting attached doesn't seem to fit her stance on humans).

As for Higgins himself, man that guy has come a long way since chapter one. He went from offering up workers to Chloé as a snack to save his own hide to putting himself between man-eating cat girls and his men. I get why he thinks Emilie did something to make him this way, but I think it's really just this insane situation that had caused him to quietly reevaluate things. I guess maybe the suspicion that she messed with his brain like that could be an excuse he uses to justify doing things he's never dine before, bit I'm not even sure about that.

Finally, I thought the action sequence here was pretty good. You don't write a ton of those, but when you do, you're always to the point while giving us enough details to visualize what's happening. You always throw some personality in to the mix, too, in this case mainly through Chloé's thoughts, which is always appreciated. 

Author's Response:

Yeah, this chapter was very much about Mika coming to terms with Chloe's nature. As the snake goddess says, they've got to be in perfect alignment for everything that's coming up.

Yukia and Higgins are both experiencing emotions they haven't really felt before, or at least not in a long time. Higgins is basically rediscovering his humanity after a lifetime of being stoic and cold towards everything.

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: January 01 2024 11:05 PM Title: Not Constantinople

Careful Gloria, you really don't want to end up in a Turkish prison!

So Chloé and Emilie have a secret to share now. Maybe this will help ease some of the tension between them from Emilie wanting to use Mika as a baby-making machine.

The way Charboneau's demise was written, I briefly thought that Chloé might not have gone through with it the first time I read through the chapter. I'm always a bit suspicious when something that we haven't seen is alluded to in any work of fiction, and Chloé never actually admits to eating the old killer and his mercenary friends.

But after going back and looking at Chloé's return to the group, it was easier to notice that Emilie figured out what happened because she drew parallels to the benefits her own people experience after eating humans. And Chloé being thankful that Emilie didn't mention her suspicions out loud seems proof enough that those aren't fish in her second stomach.

I do wonder what Mika will think when he inevitably finds out. These people were going to kill them, and, obviously, Charboneau killed his parents, not to mention that Chloé was clearly starving, so I have a hard time seeing him judge her too harshly. But she did break her promise to him, and part of the conversation leading to that promise was about how the legal system, rather than one individual, judges a criminal's punishment, so I could see him being a bit upset, too. I don't know, if ever there was a person who did deserve to get eaten, it was Charboneau. It's just a matter Mika weighing that against his worries over how Chloé view humanity, which seemed to have melted away but will likely come bubbling up to the surface soon enough.

The sad part about that is that Mika won't know what Chloé went through when she resisted her instincts when she was searching for them on the streets of Istanbul. I thought that scene did an excellent job of conveying the internal struggle she endured and showing just how far she had come since the time that promise was made. Unfortunately, her trying to explain that will probably sound like she's just bragging about not eating random humans to Mika; it might actually makes things worse in his mind.

Of course, you also have to consider that Chloé's immediate reaction to Charboneau trying to sink that boat was to save it, without even thinking about how she was leaving her friends behind to do so. Yeah, part of that was some natural instinct in the Naga's, given how human-friendly they seemed to be, based on the history we've learned so far. But even if that was a factor, she still rushed off to save a bunch of humans she didn't know and was happy when she succeeded, so she clearly views human life differently than she did before.

Back to Charboneau, he was a different level of evil altogether. It's evil enough to enjoy taking a person's life, it's another to hold a grudge against someone for stopping you from taking lives. That's quite possibly amongst the highest levels of fucked up.

And I love Natasha's selfishness regarding Charboneau's death. It's been clear from the start that she feels differently about him than any other human (something Yukia and maybe even the man himself never seemed to understand), and the fact she's after revenge for his death, completely ignoring that she has caused similar feelings to countless people over the centuries, is the stuff great villains are made of.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Natasha's "last conversation" with Emilie, but I kind of like how it went. There really wasn't much said, but I think that was the point. A small part of Natasha does feel bad about trying to have Emilie killed, something she made clear that she had put off for quite a while, but it's far too late for her to back down now. That desire to speak to her old friend one last time was the last gasp of that struggle. She didn't actually have anything that she needed to say. There was just a need to do it, for closure if nothing else.

Again, I feel like we see a little payoff in the building relationship between Emilie and Oklahoma. I liked how Oklahoma defended Emilie (even if it was in a casual way) from Mika when they were talking about Chloé eating humans. Then we had Emilie show more concern for Oklahoma than she did for her own lab assistant when Yukia was teasing eating the pilot. So it felt natural that a tiny Oklahoma (who escaped a Neko's clutches by herself, like a badass) wasn't the least bit worried as she approached Emilie and was picked up by her. I don't know if even Han Solo would have been cool with being handled by one cat-girl, ally or otherwise, after almost being eaten by another.

I can only imagine how confusing a conversation with Abbot and Costello can be for an immortal Neko from the Bronze Age. Emilie's understanding of humans is better than the other Nekos we've met so far, but I'm sure their wit was still lost on someone with only a passing understanding of humans.

And lastly, I was happy to see Higgins start to embrace the comradery of some of his co-workers. I don't know if the bill for his past deeds is going to come due by the end of this story, but I like how all of this is starting to pull him away from neutral killer lifestyle toward a more likeable one. I've had a bit of a soft spot for the guys from the beginning, so it's nice to see him develop like this, especially when we've seen what his line of work can lead to in people like Charboneau.

Author's Response:

Forgot to respond to this one last time, so here we go!

Mika will have to come to terms with Chloe's nature, she's not a tame snake. She doesn't view humans as disposable as she once did, but she is still the apex predator and sometimes situations will bring her over the edge.

Emilie's discussion of mummies with Abbot and Costello was likely frustrating for all involved.

Charboneau and Natasha had a strange relationship, he was almost like a favored pet or playmate for her, and their shared sadism brought them together in a way that was about as close to true companionship as either was capable of.

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: December 08 2023 9:05 AM Title: The Temple of Serenity

Finally! I've been waiting for three-and-a-half chapters for that big reveal, but it was well worth the wait.

So Gloria Chesterfield just asks for her big scoops. I can see now why the Nekos haven't been able to catch her yet!

But seriously, it does make drill home the point that every cat-girl not named Emilia is too focused on the "big picture" and therefore misses some of the most obvious things. That particular theme has been a fun one throughout this story, especially with Yukia.

Not only that, but it also makes somebody like Charboneau, who's worthy of gracing Natasha's memory, much more intriguing simply because of that fact. So while the silliness is fun, it was great to see that theme inverted to the benefit of the larger story.

I also really found Natasha's reaction to Emilia's "betrayal" really interesting. More specifically, I found myself comparing her order to kill Emilia with the archivist's "order" to kill Natasha. While we had the benefit of the narrative coming from Emilia's point of view during the latter, seeing Natasha without that benefit raised some questions as to exactly how she feels about it.

Emilia obviously didn't want to initiate a plan to kill her princess, but she was resolute in that decision because she felt as though it had to be done. I kind of got that same vibe from Natasha. It was just the little things: her slight hesitation at being able to stomach Emilia being "gone." the need she has to speak with the archivist one last time before the deed is done, and even the fact that she wants Charboneau to kill Emilia (I kind of thought she would want to do it herself, especially if they could replicate her little blood experiment from a couple chapters ago).

But whereas Emilia thinks Natasha has to go for the sake of her people, I do think Natasha's motivation for wanting Emilia dead is more selfish, i.e. she's going to get in the way of the princess's plan to eat all the humans. But still, I was drawn to this comparison as I was reading that scene.

I also enjoyed the bits of foreshadowing sprinkled into this chapter before the big reveal that Emilia is the reason Mika couldn't remember what happened to his parents or the reason for his connection to the South American temple and Chloé.

The way Emilia compliments Oklahoma for remembering what she had erased from her memory, that it would normally take a person years to do that, seemed like a nice little throwaway line at the time, a kind of nod to Oklahoma's grit and determination but ultimately meaningless in the grand scheme of things. But that mention of her power's longevity seemed much more relevant after the big reveal (I mean, it took a literal snake goddess for him to actually remember).

Then there's the way it was casually dropped by Natasha that Emilia was there when Mika's parents were killed. Of course, it's not directly stated at that point that this is when his parents were killed, but it's pretty easy to draw that conclusion from simple context and what we already know about his parents. But the fact that Emilia was present for this life-altering event for Mika was told to us so seamlessly that I didn't really think much of it at the time.

These two things combined helped to make me feel like an idiot for not figuring out Emilia's role in Mika's memory problems sooner. Personally, I enjoy it when works of fiction can make me feel that way (I really like drawing back to previous parts of a story and seeing them in a new light), so I really appreciate the effort you put into not only working those things in but also finding unassuming ways of doing so.

As for the twist itself, while it isn't quite earth-shattering, it's still pretty relevant and meaningful. More importantly, the timing for it is perfect, in my opinion. I think most people would have been tempted to put this off until later in the story, after Emilia had ingratiated herself into the group and formed a bond with them, as this would heighten the drama around the the reveal and create more conflict within Mika and Chloé.

However, I don't think this would have worked here. First, it's been established over the last few chapters that Emilia isn't good at this sort of thing, so it wouldn't have been believable that she could convince Mika and pals to trust and befriend her while keeping these secrets from them. Second, Mika and Chloé have shown themselves to be pretty smart people. Sure, Chloé can be a bit naive at times because of her limited social interactions (and, you know, the fact that she's not human), but she doesn't seem the type to be easily manipulated, either. And Mika has been pretty sharp throughout the story, so suddenly falling for Emilia's clumsy efforts to hide the fact that she's a cat person who has already manipulated his memories would seem out of character for him (I like that he caught Emilia's slip up about her mapping out the trees when they existed but wasn't quite sure what the slip was. I mean, I don't think it would have been normal for him to assume that she was immortal).

I also like the reveal taking place now, before they all buddy up, because we get to see more "honest' reactions from Mika and Chloé about it. Instead of Mika dealing with a sense of betrayal and not knowing what to think about Emilia, he's clearly pissed and we immediately know exactly what he thinks of her in that moment. I think seeing the hypocrisy in Mika, who has been a monolith for every life being important and not on the menu, suddenly finding comfort in the thought of Chloé eating Emilia speaks more to his emotions than any direct words could. And it's also good to see him fail to uphold his own convictions, if only briefly, in such a trying moment; characters without flaws are boring, and while Mika hasn't been flawless throughout this story, this moment of weakness makes him easier to relate to, as we all have those moments.

But Chloé's reaction was also pretty interesting. I wouldn't say she's quite pro-Emilia at this point, but I feel like she actually moved a little more that way after the vision. She becomes the voice of reason, reminding Mika that Emilia saved his life and expressing her belief that Emilia legitimately wants to help them. It seems like not that long ago Chloé would have jumped at the opportunity to decide Emilia was bad just for being there and wanted to eat her, especially if Mika was ready to give his blessing for once. Now, she's able to actually recognize that Emilia seemed upset about the death of Mika's parents and that she saved Mika from sharing their fate, which I think she probably actually appreciates.

This moment showed some real growth from her, and it was set up really well with her development over the course of the past few chapters. Not only that, but I loved the role reversal here, with Chloé having to talk Mika down for once. It plays into that character growth quite nicely.

Well, I've droned on for a while already, but I did want to briefly note that the trust theme tied into these temple tests has been emphasized really well so far, particularly the truly unique vore scene in this chapter. 

Author's Response:

Yes the temple tests are a series of trust falls, combined with some tests of will for the Naga you might say.

Emilia and Natasha's falling out is several thousand years in the making at this point, and even if they're no longer friends I don't think you could know even an enemy that long and be totally impartial to their passing.

As far as Chloe, Emilia, and Mika, they're obviously not totally open to her yet, but the vision does prove that, whatever else, she's not a monster. If anything it adds a certain amount of credibility to her claims that she wants to help.

Reviewer: Master_Builder Signed [Report This]
Date: November 10 2023 7:58 PM Title: From the Depths

Wait, we got lovecraftian lore here now?

This just got more interesting.

Author's Response:

At the very least you might say the mermaids have an odd history and an odder set of religious beliefs lol

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: October 14 2023 9:01 AM Title: To Walk Among Men

Thulsa Doom? Thulsa Doom?! THULSA DOOM?!

That's a hell of an obscure reference you threw in there! That's one family lineage even the cat girls cant Conquer.

Once again, I'm really enjoying this story. there's a lot of moving parts to it, which I'm into, but the biggest draw for me is still that dynamic between our male and female protagonists. In particular, the ethical quandary surrounding their relationship provides a lot of depth to both Chloé  and Mika.

I think the most interesting part of this is the different ways in which the two of them are using/interpreting the word scared. Chloé still believes that Mika is scared that she might eat him at some point, and this clearly breaks her heart. The way she starts to cry when she tells Mika she would never eat him or any of his friends was a sad but touching moment.

Of course, Mika already knows this and probably has for a while now. If there was any doubt of that, the fact that his reaction was to harshly ask about innocent people who aren't his friends proves this is the case. There was no relief that he was guaranteed safety, something you would expect even if he was still concerned for other people as well. 

No, he's troubled by that answer, because when he told her that she scares him, I don't think he meant that he was afraid of her. In a way, I think he's actually scared for her. He's afraid that she's going to turn into a monster ... well, more of a monster ... a metaphorical monster. Yeah, let's roll with that.

Mika's afraid that he's in love with someone who has no problem taking human life, regardless of whether they "deserve" it, that she'll only ever look at the humans she doesn't know personally as food. He's already trying to reason away any past innocent victims that Chloé may have killed (although he admits he'll never know for sure) by reminding himself that there was no way for her to know better back then. But the fact that he even asked her about it shows how much it bothers him that she might have killed someone who's only crime was being around her. While I think Mika legitimately cares for the lives of the strangers he's trying to save from becoming a potential meal, what he's really worried about is balancing the feelings he has for her with the fear that she's an indiscriminate killer.

In short, he's afraid that he can't be with Chloé, and his efforts to instill a good set of morals in her is his way of fighting against that fear. Not only that, but it's not enough for her to stop eating 

Chloé, of course, can't understand Mika's real fear, as she doesn't understand humans well enough to get such a concept yet. His words are having an impact however. Ironically, though, I think Chloé is doing more of the ethical legwork herself.

For example, I love the way this chapter ended, with Chloé hesitating to eat that womanizer, his begging causing her to fight against her instincts as she wasn't sure what to do. Before we saw which side won out (to be fair, the narrative itself seemed very pro-vore, but we still don't know for sure what she would have done), Mika intervenes and Chloé does the right thing. This is brilliant because we're left to wonder what choice she would have made on her own and, therefore, just how far she's come from a moral perspective.

What I'm really looking forward to down the road, however, is seeing how, if at all, Chloé's code of ethics differs from Mika's as it develops. Will she find instances where she feels morally justified to eat people (obviously, that's different from just eating people and not really caring, even if you try to justify it by calling them "bad")? If so, will Mika understand and accept those differences? I mean, would it would be enough for him if Chloé simply stopped eating people because he asked her to, even if she would still see them as food but just care about him enough to give up some delicious snacks? I don't think that's the case, so she needs to come to these conclusions herself if she's going to get to where Mika wants her to go. As such, he may have to decide if he can accept that she may be able to justify doing some things that he may not agree with, such as eating people who are actively trying to kill them. It'll be interesting to see how that plays out, if it comes to that.

I love how the tabloids are leaking out the catgirls' plans. I usually go to them for all my catgirl news, so this was very reassuring.

I'm also glad that we confirmed that Emilia is working against Ouroboros. It sure seemed that way, but I feel like this is the first time we could confirm that she was working to stop them rather than to sabotage her cohort for personal gain. I also really like her motivation and that she's been having these reservations for centuries, but only just now acting on them. That adds a sense of urgency to the story, cluing us in that this is different what her people have been doing all this time. Shit's about to get real. Like, really real.

The way her mindfuck powers are working on Oklahoma is also fun to read. Oklahoma gets to continue being herself the entire time (as opposed to being in some kind of trance state) and her true motivations shine through, even when she's acting on "orders." Also, I know she's eager to have first dibs on whatever treasure they find, but I wonder if she'll find anything that belongs in a museum.

I've quietly really liked Higgins's character from the start, and I really like where he's going. The way he's been set up as an unfeeling professional cutthroat this whole time makes his concerns about his current employer that much more potent to the reader. Also, I could see him slowly being set up for some kind of redemption arc (I think I've made my feelings on those very clear) but I could just as easily see him diving in head first and going the other way. It's nice to have that kind of uncertainty with a character.

And lastly, I didn't see the plot twist about Mika being part-catperson coming (although with a name like Mika, maybe I should have? It sounds very catperson-like to me, for some reason.). I'm intrigued to see where this development takes us, as Emilia hinted that he could provide an alternative to the catgirls shrinking us all down and eating us, which would be nice.

Author's Response:

I figured if anyone had snake worshiping or half snake descendants running around Thulsa Doom would be the guy haha.

Anyways we'll continue to explore Chloe and Mika's ethics relating to her dietary needs, without getting to into it right now humans are more than just a favored food source. Chloe's ethics are coming along and are definitely more human than when she started, so that's something right?

Higgins is a man who thought he'd seen it all and done it all, and now it turns out he hasn't. He's used to be the worst person in any organization, now he isn't, so like you said he's having some second thoughts.

Oklahoma is very much a Han Solo type, she'll do the right thing most of the time, but she'd really like to get rich doing it. If she finds something that belongs in a museum she'll sell it to them at a very reasonable price!

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: September 29 2023 7:23 AM Title: Finding the Path

You know, one of the benefits of the once-every-two-weeks chapter delivery is that I feel like this story is already a lot longer than it actually is. Are we really only four chapters in?! I feel like I've known these characters forever.

I'm a big fan of the way you write dream sequences. I felt like they added a lot in Amazon Country (even beyond the smut stuff), and entranced by this one here. Yeah, we've had the visions from the fruit that give off a dream-like vibe, but this scene felt different from those. I love the little details, like Mika's dad caring about burning the burgers and using the spatula to gesture to Chloe. It's like even though he knows this isn't real, he wants to preserve the future he thought he was going to have with his family. So not only did it make the scene feel more "real," but it had a bit of a sorrowful undertone to it as well, which is fitting, since it also provides Mika with the chance to say goodbye to his parents.

I also both love and hate that we didn't get to hear the conversation between Chloe and Mika's mom. Did Mika's mom want to "vet" Mika's new girlfriend? Was she concerned about Chloe's intentions with her son? Maybe she just wanted to meet the love of Mika's life (they haven't known each other that long, but things are pretty intense between them, I think)? Or she could have been imparting information that Chloe will need later, like Mika's dad was doing with him. Without hearing the conversation ourselves, we don't really know anything, well, except that Mika's mom is funny. I think it's good writing to leave it up to the reader to speculate. As the reader, however, I really wanna know! Come on!

But the most significant part of the dream, to me, was Chloe acknowledging that she was aware that she scares Mika. Given her bubbly personality and fledgling knowledge about humans, I was a bit surprised that she had pieced that together, even despite Mika showing her enough that it makes sense that she could. I guess I underestimated how perceptive she is.

I also found it both endearing and a bit sad that Chloe thinks that she needs to be human to make Mika more comfortable around her. That question, "Do you like me better like this?" is kind of haunting in a way. She feels she has to change who she is to be with Mika. I do like Mika's answer, though. It's okay to be scared of the giant man-eating snake lady, but that doesn't mean that he can't love her, too.

I also think Chloe's change also represents her slow journey toward developing a sense of ethics. She knows she scares Mika, but I don't know that she knows exactly why she scares him yet. I'm sure her being human for a while in the real world will help on her way in that regard.

We almost saw Chloe make some progress on that ethics quest at the start of the chapter. If that mercenary hadn't been dumb enough to still talk like they were going to take Mika AND insult the person whose belly they were in, it was starting to look like Chloe might have let them out. Instead, he just reinforced her "it's cool to eat bad guys" mentality. I mean, at that point, Mika couldn't even defend them.

Emelia continues to be really interesting. It still seems like she's working against Ouroboros, which begs the question of who she is working for. Then again, she might only be trying to sabotage Yukia to move up in the organization. I don't think this is as likely, but we don't really know enough to rule it out yet. Also, her mind fuck powers are a lot of fun!

And yes, I agree with Mika. Aroused was the classiest option in that word grouping. Although, personally, I would have went with concupiscent. Just another one of those everyday words that everybody says!

We've got to find a way to make Oklahoma distinguishable from the mercs. We can't have her getting eaten on accident after all. Maybe if, in addition to a gun, she had some sort of different, whip-like weapon she could use. I doubt the bad guys have any of those.

A fedora could work, too.

I wonder how long Chloe's human form will last this time. It would be a shame if she turned back into a giant snake lady in the middle of a town. Or maybe she can stay human long enough to learn how to walk. Who knows?

Author's Response:

Yeah Mika almost had her realizing that eating people wasn't a good thing before someone opened his mouth and pissed her off. Once they get into a more populated human area without as many bad guys Chloe's going to have to learn the ins and outs of ethics pretty quick.

Also yeah it would be a shame if Chloe lost her human form and returned to a giant snake woman in the middle of a city, wouldn't it?

Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: September 15 2023 11:15 PM Title: Meet the New Boss

Having seen Chloe's more or less master English over the course of three chapters, I again have to say brilliant developing a language barrier for the Mika and her to overcome was. Not only did that show off how intelligent Chloe is (as Mika notes himself), but I feel like the way this was handled in the first two chapters has helped the man-eating naga maintain a sense of innocence that I don't think could have been pulled off if she could have simply communicated with him from the start.

It just feels more natural when she doesn't understand certain things about the human world, given that she didn't even speak any human languages just weeks before. And the cuteness that came from her gradually learning the language is still reflected when she forgets certain words (such as "legs"), and that puts a softer tone to her discussion on eating humans and "friend privileges." I think Mika's assumption that her ethics haven't developed yet is right on the mark.

On the subject on her ethics, it was interesting to see Chole feel "uncomfortable" after eating those three mercenaries. I think, on some level (although maybe not a conscious one), she understands that her eating habits scare Mika, which clearly isn't what she wants. And the fact that she can now actually understand what her prey is screaming from her stomach probably doesn't help much either. I'm really curious to see wear this goes, as her simple logic of "eat bad humans, don't eat my friend" might get a bit more complicated as the story moves forward.

I love how creative Chloe is getting with these fruit visions. I also believe that's the first time she has intentionally gotten Mika off. That ties in well with the ongoing theme of MIka being surprised that someone finds him attractive (or at least hinting that nobody back home does). The scene with Chloe manipulating him in her mouth to climax, then exposing him to the fruit reflects that the naga not only finds him attractive but also feels a deeper connection with him and wants to keep him safe, matching her other actions as well. I just like the intense feelings Chloe seems to have for him matched with the backdrop of a dude with zero confidence in himself.

And again, that constant conflict Mika has between wanting to escape, wanting to stay with Chloe, and wanting to be food is great! His need to uncover his past is really engaging, but the internal struggle he's having regarding Chloe is driving the story just as much.

Yukia and Emilia brought a lot more questions with them when they arrived. I certainly didn't expect Ouroboros to send in the catgirls. Shit must be getting real.

Yukia's shrinking power adds another element to the fetishy side of this story for sure, but I'm interested to see how useful it turns out to be plot wise. And my first thought on Emilia is that she's secretly working against Ouroboros, but she could just as easily be planning on just cutting out Yukia to move herself up in the organization. She adds another element of intrigue for sure.

Oklahoma's back! You said she'd be back, and now she's back! It seems Emilia has some specific plans for her, even if the pilot isn't able to remember them. In any case, I'm looking forward to the sarcastic pilot lady's reunion with Mika and introduction to Chloe. That should be really interesting.

And you left us on that little cliffhanger with Chloe and Mika, implying that Mika was the one that found her egg (apparently) 19 years ago. That of course leaves us wondering where Mika and his parents were when the egg hatched. I'm sure she would have appreciated their help against that villainous frog!

But yeah, I'm a big fan of how this little mystery is unfolding. The pacing is nice; I feel like we've learned a lot in just three chapters, yet there are still so many questions waiting to be answered. I'm pretty well locked in to this one!

Author's Response:

Yeah we've got more mystery boxes set up, I think you will like how they end though.

Mika's problems with girls are probably more related to his confidence than any real shortcomings, so there's a bit of irony in the fact that a giant snake girl ends up being the one girl he's able to talk to.

Chloe's ethics are developing slower than her language skills, but they are coming along. Whether that happens as fast as Mika would like is up in the air, like you mentioned at some point "just eat the bad guys" isn't going to cut it.

Our catgirls do bring more mysteries with them, the forces at play at Ouroboros are not entirely human.

Reviewer: MicroThaumaturge Signed [Report This]
Date: August 28 2023 10:44 PM Title: Searching for Secrets

I want to start off by apologizing that this is the first of your many wonderful stories to which I'm adding a review.  I haven't read all of your stories, but I have read many of them, and I'm slowly increasing that count as I can find the time.  You are an impressive writer, regardless if the metric is prosaic, prolific, or creative in nature, and I'm honored to be a part of this community with which you share that creativity, passion, and skill.

In terms of the story in question, I'm loving what you've done here.  I don't know how much of the story is laid out by the commissioner, and how much creative license you have, but your pacing and teasing of new information is fantastic.  I'm enjoying these glimpses of the ancient civilization, playing at some greater truth or connection between humans, the fruit, and the Naga. 

The Higgins scenes are a great reminder that not only is there a potentially hostile force outside of the developing relationship between Mika and Chloe, but it hints at knowledge already in this world either hoarded or obtained by someone likely to have a very different interpretation of Chloe's role in things from the one Mika is developing.  The distorted voice not only seems to know more than it has let on, but the hints dropped have me wondering WHAT is on the other end of that connection as much as it has me wondering who.  Placing Higgins as the connection between the MC's and this strange figure's interests introduces a potentially dangerous (and therefore entertaining) variable.  Higgins seems to be a man out for himself first, and everybody else only when they have something to offer him.  Not only does this present him as potentially dangerous to the MC's despite his employer directing him to stay his hand, but it also presents an opportunity to turn him against his employer, as he has already turned on his employees.

And then, last but not least, there's this developing relationship between Mika and Chloe.  I love the dangerous edge to the sexual tension they have, spiced with the restraint Mika is trying to demonstrate, and which is quickly eroding under Chloe's more practical sensibilities.

Sorry for the wall of text; I'm invested in this story you're telling, and in trying to thank you and praise your efforts the above sorta just--happened.  (Side note, is there a way to accurately represent an em dash on this site?)  I look forward to the next entry in two weeks time, and any other projects you are working on in the meantime!

Author's Response:

I love walls of text, most authors love long reviews in my experience!

Anyways yeah Higgins is very much out for himself, but as dangerous as he is he's a worldly sort of danger, like you said there are greater things at play here.

Mika and Chloe have a language barrier and very different backgrounds to contend with, but they're both in the same boat of not knowing how or why they're here.

As far as the leeway given by the commissioner the broad strokes of the story are generally at their discretion, the characterization, side characters, pacing, etc are usually up to me. Thanks for the review, glad you're liking it!