[Report This]Date: August 01 2023 8:27 AM Title: Chapter 4 - The Other Side of the Coin
This story is pretty great so far!
The role reversal of a tiny training a big to be an obedient "pet" is a nice angle for a story. It's pretty cool to see our Mistress take charge and be the dominant one. It also makes the casual ways that Olivia's size overwhelms the little redhead really stand out. It's like the fact that our kidnapped big can still buck off or trap Mistress between her toes despite being restrained involuntarily shows off the more primal power that comes with the size difference between the two.
The games and punishments have been pretty fun so far, too. Very creative, maybe not so much in the ideas themselves but in their execution, which is a good thing. It's all about how the characters act and respond to one another's actions that makes or breaks a scene, and both characters really come alive in different ways during the meat of each chapter.
You also describe things really well. Your descriptions aren't too wordy and your paragraphs are fairly crisp, but I have a really clear picture in my head of the room (well, the part that's lit, anyway), the apparatus holding Olivia up, and the characters themselves. I also really like some of the similes you use, such as comparing Olivia to a ceiling when she's elevated or her wet pussy to a leaking motel faucet.
Olivia's struggle between enjoying Mistress's training and being scared/angry/concerned about her situation is what really makes this story, though. Seeing her seem to lose herself more to the pleasures she feels during these games and punishments opens things up from both a fetish perspective and a narrative one as well.
And of course, the intrigue with this story really draws you in. How exactly did Olivia end up in this situation? With her faulty memory and the last thing she did remember being that she was waiting for something or someone, I was thinking that maybe she had set this up herself and that one of those drugs she was given had somehow wiped part of her memory or something. But the way Mistress talks in this chapter about the research she did into Olivia, it sounds more like she was stalked and chosen, which only raises more questions.
Then there's the fact that it looks like Mistress shrunk herself, rather than her being naturally tiny. Why did she do that? I mean, she's clearly into being tiny, at least she is when she's around someone she finds as attractive as Olivia, but is there a deeper, more important reason? This is a lot of trouble to go through just to satisfy a kink, after all.
Anyway, I really enjoyed the story so far, and this last chapter was really intense! From the end notes, it looks like the next chapter is going to be right up my ally as well, so I'm looking forward to it.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I'm blown away by the feedback!
I'm glad to see my writing style is gelling with at least some of the readers on this site, and I'm doubly glad my descriptions are landing. Most of all, I'm glad the content is something readers can get behind, and I hope I can continue to provide that moving forward. I was definitely concerned about upending the typical power dynamic between Big and small, but I think I'm approaching it in a way that most of us can enjoy.
Thank you again for reading, and yet again for responding. The encouragement is definitely pushing me to keep writing with gusto!