Date: August 01 2023 6:58 PM Title: 02. The twins' new toy
A fun story, I think it's certainly got a lot to offer. I enjoy the language swapping, it's easy to follow and adds some authenticity. There's a fun dynamic of speaking a language he doesn't understand. There's a lot of variety in interaction, and while I'm not usually into toilet stuff I can still appreciate it.
My only criticism would be to dwell a little longer on the steamier bits. The section where he's inside the sock gets a lot of attention, while the vore gets just a few sentences. That might just be my personal preference.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you for you review and criticism, they're very welcome! This story was originally commissioned by a Portuguese guy, closely based (at least physically) on two twin sisters he knows in real life, so to add to the 'realism' of the sisters in this story, I wrote them being Portuguese and speaking European Portuguese, as they do in real life.
About the little attention to the vore scene, it's because that vore scene in the first chapter isn't the main vore event of the story. There will be more vore and, yes, the incoming vore scene will receive a lot of attention. :D
[Report This]Date: July 31 2023 4:33 PM Title: 02. The twins' new toy
This is a very exciting and well written story. Great work!
Author's Response:
Thank you! It's not complete yet, more chapters to come, so maybe more reading fun for you! ^^