[Report This]Date: August 07 2023 4:37 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Deita VS Jinshin
As I finished this chapter and wrote my review I stepped aside and could not stop thinking about what I just read so I wanted to get back on her and give some additional as they are fresh on my mind.
I'm thinking the dynamic now between Avaramix and Deita has changed due to her loss to Jinshin. Will he have her shrunk by Jacob and her given to the same fate she was so easily giving to those victims? Will she end up being eaten by some bratty rich girl, this would be a fate that is befitting her.
WOW Great job at keeping this story intense.
Author's Response:
It will be interesting to see Avaramix react to Deitas failure to capture or kill Jinshin. Most interesting... hehehe
[Report This]Date: August 07 2023 4:26 AM Title: Chapter 11 - Deita VS Jinshin
I really like how you start this chapter giving us a little insight into Liz’s past. Reading through this you can’t help wondering how her future would have been if not for Jacob and how close she was to being just another snack for Deita. She was inches from becoming a small amount of nourishment for this evil woman.
It is interesting how Jacob consoled her and tried to lift her up by telling her she could be anything and then he was the one to take her life dreams away so harshly.
Jinshin and Ben have given her a glimmer of hope to at least prolong her life.
Again, the intense action as Jinshin tries to escape this facility is by far the best. Great writing and painting the picture of what was going on. Very vivid image in your writing. When it comes to Jinshin, Deita, Ben and Liz I think your writing is amazing. You were able to create these characters so believable that I have grown to care about them immensely.
WoW the twist and turns are amazing and very intriguing keeping me on the edge of my seat the whole time, do you trust this new character or ignore them and keep running. Very well written!
What an intense fight scene again amazing and I really didn’t know how this was going to go! WOW!
You have this ability to draw out emotions in your writing. Great Job!
Can’t wait to see where this goes from here and if they can trust this new character with their lives
Author's Response:
I am very happy you enjoyed it! I'll admit I was afraid I didn't add enough detail, but now I feel a lot better lol.
This was a great practice chapter to test my abilities at writing action scenes and I look forward to doing more in the future!
I have come to love these four characters a lot, and I need to work on ensuring the other characters get their fair share of growth also.