[Report This]Date: November 22 2022 8:22 PM Title: The Limousine Ride
Really like the story Tess. I'm typically not too much into the hard vore and crushing aspect, but I don't mind a little. I think this tale can be expanded to include a more sinister nature by the Ambrosia restaurant and Mel (things got more sinister already each chapter). Perhaps the 'free-range' tinies could include regular people getting shrunk down (perhaps Jennifer herself, after getting somewhat 'corrupted' by Mel would make a suitable story element). Perhaps entire cities had been shrunk and manipulated for the pleasure, power and profit of Ambrosia and perhaps Mel's parents and family were board members for it. I just think this can be developed more and, after that, a series of storylines can be made for Ambrosia and/or Mel.
Author's Response:
I fell off the internet for a spell (as I'm known to do here and there) but I wanted to take the time to thank you for your review.
I really appreciate that I was able to deliver something for you that you'd not normally be into, especially on the grounds of sinister story elements. I hope the latest chapter adds a bit more sinister to the mix.
Thank you for your input and yes there's going to be more and more revelations about the depths upperside society has sunk, not just Ambrosia.
Thanks again <3
[Report This]Date: November 07 2022 1:17 PM Title: The Limousine Ride
Phenomenal writing and creativity; I particularly like the social hierarchy humiliation here - the way that the girls are rich and pretty spoiled (Mel at least), and the tinies mostly still have to toil away at jobs etc. it makes the system so much crueler for the lower-siders.
Would love to see some taunting or other humiliation along these lines (e.g. Mel buying up swathes of tiny real estate easily and slowly dominating/humiliating her tenants - kiss my toes or I’ll double your rent kind of thing).
Totally awesome world you’re building here, can’t wait for more! d84;a039;
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I'm really glad people are liking the structural hierarchy angle. It's certainly building to some bullying scenes like that, and I'm going to enjoy building out the world further.
Thanks again!
Date: October 28 2022 6:57 AM Title: The Limousine Ride
Almost forgot to mention that I love the clever title.
[Report This]Date: October 28 2022 6:34 AM Title: The Limousine Ride
Absolutely loved the first two chapters. So far this has a lot of the things I like in size fiction. Interesting world building, focus on gore and cruelty, a semi well meaning character being "corrupted". I love the pacing too, drawing out the reveal of exactly what's going on is the right call imho.
As far as the class or caste element goes, that's very intriguing too.
I always feel like there's an undercurrent of eroticizing systemic inequalities in size fiction anyway, just look at all the celebrity giantess content. you've got the guts to make it overt, and the result is heady decadent feel that i think puts some of the taboo back into erotic size fiction.
Anyway, I hope you have a good experience with this story, because I'd love to read more from you in the future if it works out.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much!
I really like playing with those taboo topics, and I feel like mixed-size societies rarely examine the kinds of institutionalized power that might spring up from such a marginalized group. There's something about fetishizing systemic injustice that is cathartic for the problems we have in real life. Size dynamics are fun because someone tiny could never face someone big. But we already experience a sort of social tinyness that can feel like a greater divide than a micro trapped in greedy jaws.
Thanks again, and stay tuned for the next chapter. I expect to have it finished later today.
[Report This]Date: October 28 2022 12:25 AM Title: The Limousine Ride
First chapter was cute. Just two girls out having a good time and helping out some strangers. Jennifer comes across as reserved, considerate, and in control, but aware of what her wealth gives her. Mel comes across as easygoing, but the kind of girl who causes trouble because she’s too aloof for her own good.
Second chapter was interesting. I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be a dance club or a restaurant, but it’s a totally different universe so who cares. You have a lot of interesting ideas, but I think two chapters of foreplay is going to be a hard sell for most people. I would have squeezed something that appeals to base instinct between chapters two and three to give readers something to bite.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the feedback! I think your criticism is well-founded, I was a little hesitant about "not getting to the good stuff" and I'm considering inserting some spicier bits in between. I intend to have some "meanwhile, for the tinies" chapters from their POV. I'll certainly consider adding something like like in-between one and two.
Thanks again!