[Report This]Date: April 29 2023 9:31 AM Title: Chapter 4
Glossed over it the first time but came back to read in more detail. There's so much there. My favorite part was the show-don't-tell in chapter four: dirty shoes and clothes, a reference to the forest, and finally a bunch of people in a girl's pocket. That's like a whole shortstory on the side forming entirely in the reader's head, all by itself. You know what went down, even while the protagonist is too occupied by his own plight to notice or care.
Now THAT's writing. Also the despair and fear of those who may or may not shrink is so well described that I can feel it. This story is great. Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response: Many thanks for the detailed review, Squashed123!
Very glad to hear that you enjoyed it so much.
And many more thanks for the compliments! They are making me shy ;)
[Report This]Date: November 06 2022 3:09 PM Title: Chapter 2
This is interesting. Milena is clearly eager to be recognized as a capable adult, but, as a teen, she clearly has a distorted image of what that means. Probably because Roland was such a powerfull and bossy man, and her friends and company are also as immature as her, she thinks that’s what means to be in charge.
Julie is even more on the immature side of the spectrum, but both seem to care for their family, the difference being that Milena WANTS to take care of HER family whyle Julie is happy to have Lennard at the palm of her hand.
Milena is very specif in stating that she does not want just a city, but a city “full
of shrunken grown-ups who have to serve…”
Some sort of communication is needed, so I don’t think Lennard will go speck
size, but Melody will. In fact, he will be the one who will have to take charge of his parents well being once Melody shrinks… or Milena and Julie. Because the only one we know won’t shrink for sure now is Miley.
Thanks for sharing your story on the site, and sorry for any grammar problems or misspellings. English is not my primary language.
Author's Response:
Hey!
Thanks for all your thoughts about the story!
And no problem.
English is not my first language either :)
[Report This]Date: November 05 2022 1:49 AM Title: Chapter 1
I love where the plot goes
Author's Response:
Me too!
[Report This]Date: November 05 2022 12:37 AM Title: Chapter 2
Enjoying it so far, but who are July and Aaron? It feels like you keep changing the names and it's hard to keep up with it. Is July and alternate spelling for Julie you decided on after a while and didn't change all the spellings of Julie from before?
Author's Response:
Ha! Guess that July and Aaron decided to sneakily join the fun!
At the moment, I'm working at many different stories at the same time. It was only a matter of time before something like this would happen, I think.
Aaron is a character of another story of mine and where July comes from? I have no idea.
Anyway, thanks for pointing it out. I've edited it.
And thx for liking the story!