[Report This]Date: August 16 2023 3:20 AM Title: Chapter 1
That was fantastic!!!
Your hints in Chapter 1 definitely painted a clear picture of the truth to the events unfolding (I was able to guess Annie's true relationship when Cassie was mentioned as a work friend of Michael's wife), but that made the story all the more enticing.
What you have wrought here is a work of art worthy of a tradesman's masterpiece. Sure, there were some technical hiccoughs, mostly around swapped homophones, and an incorrect dialogue tag, but the experience was damn near visceral. It's rare to find an author with such a focus - nay, a hunger - for non-fatal vore. The only author I could point to that reliably includes it is the great Greenanon. But while the Greenanon stories have a delightful worldbuilding component, there are times (frequently, in fact) that I'm looking for some targeted erotica. Quality smut, if you will. And tiny gods, did you deliver.
The title of your story was supremely well chosen. The monument you have carved here, dedicated to the Big O and the Little Death, has been carved by careful hands from a block of pure anticipation. Annie's visceral need to consume her sacrifices served as the hammer strokes that cleanly carved the shape of what was to come. The play with her sacrifices - sliding them so readily between her lips - shaped the work into a thing of allure and desire. The deal with the devil, and enacting the terms of it served to smooth and polish the work to a thing of beauty; and the breaking and shared fate elevated this piece into the halls of the great.
Between the two pieces you have shared here, I think Together is the better story from a technical standpoint. Probably from storytelling and pacing as well. But the passion and intensity in this piece were truly visceral. I am elated to have read it.
Thank you.
Author's Response:
I uh.... wow. It's no exaggeration that this the most glowing praise I've ever gotten for my writing. Like, ever. I appreciate all the kind words. I know it's "just" smut, but the goal of a writer is always to elicit an intended emotional response in the reader with their work, and regardless of the nature of said response, it's just really a great feeling to know that you were successful at it.
I hear you on some of the technical issues. Some of it stems from writing these out on a smartphone (autocorrect can be a bitch sometimes), but most of it comes from my style of writing, which is basically to dump everything out of my head all at once, and submit without looking back. Something about re-reading my own work is uncomfortable to me... akin to hearing your own recorded voice. And this was my first erotic piece, so I'm not surprised that Together came across as more effective. Not that I could point to anything specific that I learned through writing Anticipation, but I'm sure subconsciously, the experience had an influence on the latter work.
All that to say, I appreciate the time you took to write out such an elaborate review, and I felt my response needed to be similarly comprehensive in kind, to reflect the gratitude. I know most people just read something and move on (myself included), so I try not to take for granted that even a handful of people felt compelled to provide positive feedback.
I'm still working my way through your work, and while I lack the skill to so thoroughly summarize my feelings as you have, know that I'm thoroughly enjoying what I've read so far. You have a talent for sure, and I hope you have the opportunity to develop your skills further. We definitely vibe on the same wavelength, and it's awesome to find others out authors out there that I can sing the praises of from my admittedly very small platform.
[Report This]Date: July 02 2023 10:54 PM Title: Chapter 1
Okay, that was amazing! was not expecting the ending. Well played and well written. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
Author's Response:
Thanks much for the positive feedback! I hope you get the opportunity to read my second piece, Together, that I posted to this site a few days ago. I hope you enjoy it if you do!
[Report This]Date: August 16 2022 4:30 AM Title: Chapter 1
You do an really good job with cliffhangers. And the story is paced really well too. I like it!!!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I was a little worried the structure would turn folks off since it does take a while to get to the payoff, so I'm glad to hear that their are folks out there enjoying the slower burn.
Date: August 15 2022 10:24 PM Title: Chapter 1
I'm very much enjoying this one, the couple being played with is tons of fun, and I'm very much looking forward to finally seeing someone end up in her belly. Very fun story.
Author's Response: Thanks! Shouldn't be too much longer now. Hope yo uthibk the finale is worth the wait!