Date: July 24 2022 3:30 PM Title: The Rogue Princess
excited for more
Author's Response:
Thanks!
[Report This]Date: July 24 2022 8:55 AM Title: The Rogue Princess
In terms of raw narrative complexity, this is definitely the best one you’ve done. With multiple puzzle pieces moving, and it’s all shown to us rather than being explicitly told. Good detail given too, with a nice set up for a classic enemy to lover style arc.
The biggest weakness I’ve found with any space intergalactic stories is the way they’re described usually; it’s hard to translate a picture from an author to the audience, With how these things look. I know it isn’t a focus for this story, but I do think it would be beneficial to have a small segment or to even further extend the description for these things some more. Would go a long way.
But yeah, keep it up. It’s going great.
Author's Response:
I'll do my best to be a bit more descriptive for exotic elements. This one probably is going to be the most complex overall narrative I've done, with a lot of different character viewpoints throughout. Thanks for reading, I hope it lives up to your expectations!
Date: July 24 2022 5:57 AM Title: The Rogue Princess
This, this may be your masterpiece.
Welcome to Hell was rather fun. I was alright with One-Year Lease. The witch story got a few laughs. But this story is going to get me refreshing the "Most Recent" section of the site everyday. "We help each other get by" has stood the test of time as my favorite of yours, but this story right here may exceed it.
I most definitely appreciate that this is more focused narratively than "The Conquest of Earth." Heck, it even has some of the same archetypes, with the human diplomat, the rugged, rural main character, and a domineering, somewhat condescending race. The Zentans appear to be an amalgamation of the Alemari and the Ghalans, combining both the conquering warlike tendency, with the "make humans pets" belief.
The crux of this, is that Kurt hates Zentans, and Nea wishes to establish dominion over the humans. You've set these two opposing viewpoints on a collision course, with both heading at full speed. I think this is a more compelling conflict than "One year lease" even though that was played out as more as a light-hearted Tom and Jerry dynamic. Unlike Eva, Nea is completely all-in her beliefs, while I felt Eva's were a bit contrived. Perhaps the reason is that Nea defies the authority in her life, her mother's, while Eva tried appealing to the authority in her life, Amber.
Anyways, I look forward to seeing how this will develop.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you're liking it so far. Welcome to Hell and Landlady is a Witch were both intended to be pretty silly stories more about fun and having a laugh than the drama. We Help Each Other Get By is a more dramatic piece but still a relatively calm slice of life type story. I think I've mentioned that when I was brainstorming this one I thought of a Conquest of Earth spinoff, but that universe is just too lighthearted for this kind of story so I decided to start one from scratch. Obviously I like rural main characters, I've got a few floating around. The diplomats I thought would provide some nice framing as well as a look into a happier Zetan-Human relationship.
Glad you're liking it so far, this one should be fun!
[Report This]Date: July 24 2022 5:53 AM Title: The Rogue Princess
I really like Telma and feel for her. Caught between duty and her clear knowledge that all of this is a bad idea, juggling jobs as bodyguard, infiltrator, abductor and now possibly therapist for panicky little Joey - all in a day's work.
I'm sure she could have, would have said something to Zetan authorities instead of going along with Nea, but headcanon so far says she figures that losing Nea's trust would make it even more difficult to make her understand how wrong she is, and sometimes the best lessons are harsh ones.
Author's Response: Yeah she's stuck between a rock and a hard place, but at the end of the day she can't force the princess to do anything, and she can't exactly abandon her either.
[Report This]Date: July 24 2022 12:33 AM Title: The Rogue Princess
I really like Nea. Sure she’s a bit of a brat and definitely bigoted, but it seems like she’s had little exposure to humans outside of the guards. Even seeing one that was attractive and defiant had her calling him perfect and taking interest in him. Definitely great so far!
Author's Response:
Nea doesn't know nearly as much about humans, or even Zetans, as she thinks, she's very sheltered and spoiled so she's in for some culture shock.
[Report This]Date: July 23 2022 9:35 PM Title: The Rogue Princess
@DcZ Would also love to see Nea shrink at some point
Not only would it be good plot wise, but would also be a great chance to introduce some size action With a human woman; alien giantesses are usually a little too far out there for me (no pun intended).
With that being said though, love how well written the story is so far. Getting similar vibes to One Year Lease, which is a very good thing!
Keep up the great writing!
Author's Response:
Can't promise Nea getting small, but we will see a human woman character next chapter. Thanks for reading!
Date: July 23 2022 6:45 PM Title: The Rogue Princess
Dang you did a pretty good job of making Nea morally reprehensible even moreso than Eve at the start of One Year Lease. Really makes me want to see her suffer some karma even if it takes a bit. I really enjoyed the side story with Adam and Kira even if the past relationship between them is still a bit mysterious. Like why did they split or how do they know each other? Didn't expect another chapter so soon but it's always welcome!
Author's Response:
Kira and Adam's background will be explored a little throughout their plot arc, as for why they split, she got sent back to Zetan Prime for work, now that she's back they're back together again.
I'm going to try to hit the same one a day pace as One Year Lease, we'll see how that one plays out lol.
[Report This]Date: July 23 2022 6:12 PM Title: The Rogue Princess
Its pretty good as always.
Plus, I think Nea might need a lesson in being small, I can guess her mother or one of her sister would get the task of treating her that way for years, but I suppose it might be more humiliating for a humans woman to do it. There has to be some who would love that opportunity, on top of the compensation from the governments.
And how small did Adam get again?
Author's Response:
Adam was about three inches tall, in theory he could have probably climbed out of Kira's shoes, but we both know he probably didn't want to lol. Nea needs to learn a lot of lessons.