[Report This]Date: July 22 2022 3:47 AM Title: 3 - A Rough Patch
Another good chapter. I do wonder what exactly Jacob's reluctance is (by the usual 'you threw me in a shoe' that would be expected from anyone). This seems like a relatively easy job, seeing as he's serving as a guide. I imagine there is some animosity between him and the King's guard as a sort of occupational hazard.
[Report This]Date: July 18 2022 2:29 AM Title: 2 - A Truce
I think these first two chapters are a really strong start. They give some sense of the world without directly spelling it out, and I hope to see more world building as it continues. I think you hit the marks for dialogue, grammar, structure, and I think Anna and Jacob's interactions work really well.
My only question was did you mean pirate as in like "with a pirate ship" cause I imagine trying to get Anna on a boat is a very quick way to see what the ocean floor looks like.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reply! I really like the question you asked, because I ended up wondering about it myself. I'm sure a massive knight would be a horrible idea for a small ship.
I think some the of the humor comes from the absurdity of the idea itself, to which I'm rolling with. I have no doubt that there are giant pirates in the world, as both big and small folk do exist in this world. But yes, I do mean the type with the ship, though a lot of this story will be taken on foot.
Hopefully I continue to make chapters you enjoy, and thank you for taking the time to review it, it means a lot to me.
-Sylph
[Report This]Date: July 05 2022 11:55 AM Title: 1 - A Rough Beginning
Great start with interesting characters. Keep it up!