Date: June 03 2022 11:13 AM Title: Chapter 1- The Secret of Fortress Pip Ash
Hello Kyle,
Your introduction has truly established the ultimate goal of a good work of fiction, which is to let the readers see the events.
I would imagine that the next chapter would be more challenging to write, as the test is to describe a photographic depiction of each character. It’s easier said than done, as many novices would like to describe a giantess with awfully big bosoms. To me, that’s silly and distasteful, as that would denote that a lady with small breasts is off-putting.
Another important note is to give the protagonists realistic motivations, that can be tailored and revised consequently. For example, in my story, I consented to be shrank because in exchange for the usage of the Nano Intelligent Cells to cure Jessica’s illness. Subsequently, my motivation revised to become accustomed to the way of life of being a tiny.
Tess
Author's Response:
Tess,
Thank you for your kind words
I tend not to describe someone's breast size because it isn't something I really pay attention to when meeting someone, it just isn't my interest. To a tiny person anyone's breasts are going to just be beyond their normal ability to comprehend and scale, it would be like seeing a mountain next to a slightly smaller mountain. Without them being next to each other it would be difficult to tell the difference between them.
Dean's motivation is that he has nothing, nothing at all in his life. He has proceeded too far as a loner to be able to make friends and as such he now lacks the social ability to function with others. He'll feel bad about it at first, but of course he's going to shrink other people, it's the only enjoyment he has in an otherwise very bleak world. His motivations are certainly less than admirable, and it's only a matter of time before the police or some other group catches on.
[Report This]Date: June 03 2022 3:16 AM Title: Chapter 1- The Secret of Fortress Pip Ash
Hello Kyle,
I sincerely enjoyed your introduction, as you’ve written a sophisticated plot. I’m glad to see that you’re writing your own story, to express your thoughts.
Tess
Date: May 29 2022 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 1- The Secret of Fortress Pip Ash
Very good story ! I am eager to see the next chapter.