[Report This]Date: June 29 2022 6:56 PM Title: Chapter 2. New Life.
Really liking where this story is going! I'm enjoying the added world building and character development. Although, I would like to see more development of Ana's character since she rarely says what is on her mind and has barely said much about herself to even her husband. Also I enjoy the few lewd moments sprinkled in here but I feel like they would benefit from being a bit more descriptive. Overall really liking this story!
Author's Response:
Glad to see so many people liking the story so far. And I’ll try to add in more description where possible, though I am learning as I’m writing so I’ll definitely make some mistakes on what is or isn’t enough description.
As for Ana’s character, I won’t be showing too much about her till later. Right now I really want to define Leon, as he is the main protagonist. Hence, I’ve withdrawn from many specific moments about her. Instead, you can get a general understanding of her views, values and personality through her dialogue and her opinions on tinies and such. Chapter 3 does show a little bit more about her as she speaks more often there. However, her moments will come later. At least that’s my plan. Which may be subject to change.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
[Report This]Date: June 27 2022 9:13 PM Title: Chapter 2. New Life.
I'm glad the story continues. As for the pace, I don't think it's too fast or too slow. I mean in two chapters you have told the relationship of the characters, the context in which they are, their past and you have introduced the beginning of a plot. All of that nuanced, as @Millia says with a touch of casual but generous and fun domination. So in my humble opinion it's fine. You even went out of your way to give us some world maps to better describe the universe and support it.
However, what seems a bit slow to me is the pace of publication, so much so that I thought that this story had already ended with the wedding of those two. Keep it up, you're doing great.
Author's Response:
Sorry for the slow updates. I’m afraid they might continue at least for this year. I mostly write when I can find time to and sometimes it’s a bit hard to get in the zone for lengthy chapter stories. More than that, it’s how hard it can be formatting things correctly on this site. Which can be a massive time sink in itself.
Anyway. Thank you for the review. Glad to see I haven’t raised any big pressing issues or concerns. I was wondering how people think the cruelty gauge on this story is currently sitting, and if whether people would be fine with me slightly increasing it. (Fighting foreign enemies and such would probably lead to that. Etc)
[Report This]Date: June 27 2022 5:30 PM Title: Chapter 2. New Life.
This has all the stuff I like in these kinds of stories, the casual but loving domination thing is a lot of fun and I look forward to seeing how the couple's love life progresses. I do hope that Leon is able to find some way to contribute, beyond just providing comfort, I wonder what all the old King used to do? Administration? Tactics? Anyways I liked it, keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the high praise. Means a lot!
The couple’s love life will progress steadily but will probably be a bit slow, with some updates to their dynamics here and there after big or main events.
Firstly I want to focus on our male lead. I want to give him a greater emphasis on his role. And possibly explore what it could be. This is a fantasy magic world, so the possibilities are almost endless.
As for your question on what old kings did, the last one (before our male lead) was especially remarkable. And I might focus on him a bit more through discussion later, but generally besides comfort and support they often were fighters or little spies. Rarely did they ever do anything beyond that, except in special cases like the last king.
I am wondering whether people are okay with me slightly increasing the cruelty of the story however. I do have plenty of implied cruel acts towards foreign enemies. But I wonder how much is how much. Hopefully I can nail it by next chapter.
Thanks again for the review.