Date: June 09 2021 5:24 PM Title: Introduction
Interesting story! I've really enjoyed it so far. I like the relationship between your two main characters, and the contrast between gentle and humiliation. Even if her changes are a little abrupt sometimes, I like how she shifts from a dominant "stupid face" owner to an affectionate, nice owner. I'm looking forward to more, as well as seeing which side of her ultimately wins out!
In terms of suggestions, my only one is a formatting suggestion. When writing dialogue, you don't need the dialogue tags ("he said" or "she asked" for example) to be a separate line. They come after the dialogue itself, separated by a comma. So, instead of-
it should be-
"I understand," Amber said.
This will make the dialogue a bit smoother to read, and make the formatting a little cleaner. Regardless, I'm looking forward to more! Take care.
Thank you very much for reading and for your suggestion, I will take it into consideration.
Date: May 31 2021 3:04 AM Title: Chapter 1, part 1
Hmm, wonder who breaks first? Will this be mostly foot-focused, or will there be other types of interaction?
It won't be exclusively foot-focused, I have a lot of interest in other types of interactions as well and an accurate description of the world and situations Ryan is in.