[Report This]Date: July 16 2021 3:22 AM Title: Reparation
Very interesting. Can't wait to see Jennifer torture every Chev in the most mentally painful way possible and let the torture go on endless and destroy them on all levels.
Author's Response:
If nothing else, that's certainly what she wants to do! To Cathy, at least. Might be a bit difficult to actually pull that off in the story, but perhaps in an alternate universe. Maybe one day I could write a "Marvel's What if?" style story with a bunch of alternate scenarios, like if Jennifer got her hands on a shurnken Cathy, or Brian had been sent to Cathy instead of Allison. Could be fun! Either way, I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and thanks for your review.
-Pluto
Date: July 16 2021 1:48 AM Title: A Brand New World
That's incredible dude. This story made me cry a lot of time. You are the best. Thanks a lot. I didn't finish yet, i begin the Chapter 9. But waouh !
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for reviewing again! I'm truly happy that you're enjoying the story so much, and that the emotions are resonating with you. Thanks again for your kind words, I hope you enjoy the remaining chapters!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: July 16 2021 1:17 AM Title: Reparation
Just knowing that you're still working on this stoty is enough for me chief. As long as you finish it I'll be more than happy to wait random amounts of time between chapters. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
Thanks, glad to hear it! If for some reason I ever had to stop working on the story, or take a real hiatus, I would be sure to put a note in the description. I have every intention to finish the story, so I hope you continue to enjoy it!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: June 20 2021 1:38 PM Title: Morning Visit
Man, these last few chapters have taken an emotional toll on me. I’m kind of glad you took a break; it gave me a break too. But I’m glad you’re back but don’t feel bad about needing to take some time off, you kind of uploaded a new chapter every fucking day. That’s pretty fucking incredible. Also, I don’t understand the end of this chapter, are we supposed to be worried about the contents of the folder? We know how Brian “died” so I can only imagine the contents of the folder are the thing that’s important here.
P.S. Fuck man I am so sorry about your A/C. I can understand not being able to get work done with that.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for the review! I know, these last few chapters have all been very emotional and intense. I'm glad that my break also gave you a break. I appreciate your reassurance, I definitely was going pretty hard for about a week. I was really excited to get to Brian's reunion with Jen and Laura, but of course the danger of writing that much is that it can lead to burnout. Oh well, it all works out in the end. Losing my air conditioning definitely sucked!! It was just really bad timing, and it took a while to get a replacement. It's all good now, though. Thanks for your concern!
As for the end of the chapter, the document inside the folder was Allison's document from her SPAR session with Brian (see chapter 3 of the first story). As in, the only piece of evidence saying that she was Brian's Chevalier, since it has her signature. Maybe I should have added something at the end to make that more clear, but instead I think I'll add a quick thing in the beginning of the next chapter. The reason that scares her, then, is that it could put her at risk if it were to be released unexpectedly. The Silver Strip was supposed to have that document, so the big question is how it made its way to Cassandra, and why Cassandra says that it's a problem. I hope that clears it up, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: June 18 2021 12:37 PM Title: Morning Visit
Another great chapter! I loved finally getting an explanation of Cassandra's plan, and that final revelation really got me excited for the next chapter. I'll be looking forward to it as well as well as the second chapter of your other story as I found it quite intriguing. Godspeed.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review, I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter! I'm never sure if the political machination stuff is going to be boring to read, so I'm glad you found it interesting. I'm also happy to hear that you're looking forward to the next chapter of both stories! I hope you enjoy them, and thanks again for your continued reviews. I really appreciate it.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: June 11 2021 3:59 AM Title: Family Ties
Way to leave us on a mid season hiatus, man! I'm hoping everything is alright, but I just can't wait for the next chapter. I need my dose! As always, godspeed!
Author's Response:
I know, I'm sorry for the random delay! I'm okay, but it's been a tough couple of weeks. I lost my air conditioning for a week during a really hot period, which was quite difficult and draining. Since then, I've just felt a little unmotivated, but it's coming back. I actually just posted the first chapter of an entirely new story, as sudden as that might be. So, not the development you were maybe hoping for, but the next chapter of this story is up next. Thanks for checking, and thanks for sticking with me! I hope to see you soon.
-Pluto
Date: May 28 2021 2:56 PM Title: Brian's Mom
Oh boy, this feels like it'll be final blow for Laura's psyche once she learns about Brian filing for an adult adoption with Elizabeth. I wonder if the state drags its feet by saying Brian can't make decisions for himself since he's very "disabled" and if Senator Day has to step in for the process or if Laura gives up and agrees to allow the adoption? It is curious that Allie pushed such an abrupt reunion between Brian and his mother since as Elizabeth mentioned she knows how badly Laura hurt Brian and also she's seen Brian breakdown over remembering events and experiences and it was guaranteed to happen once Laura started talking. This isn't Allie's therapist's doing is it? Do you think you'll show Jen confronting Laura about what Brian saying being true or maybe jumping to the next day/visit from Jen where she approaches Brian to ask if it's all true and why he didn't tell her?
Author's Response:
Well, according to my research into adult adoption (which is not something I ever expected to do), the only people who have to consent are the person being adopted and the person doing the adoption. So, Laura wouldn't be able to do anything about it, at least.
It's definitely odd that Allison pushed for it, but the reasons for that will be explained later on. It'll be easier once she starts to work on it in therapy.
I think I'm going to leave Laura and Jennifer's conversation to the imagination, and focus more on Brian's side of things. I hope you enjoy what happens next!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 28 2021 12:36 PM Title: Brian's Mom
Aww!
Author's Response:
I know, right??
-Pluto
Author's Response:
I know, right??
-Pluto
Date: May 28 2021 9:12 AM Title: A Brand New World
Hi. Wow, what a story... you sure know how to build the psychology of a protagonist. At first, I thought it was a bit flabby. But wow, what emotions, I cried for the last chapter. The characters are built, representing something strong. Thanks again for this masterpiece.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the extremely kind review. I'm honored that I was able to elicit strong emotions, since that's certainly what I'm trying to do. I'm also glad that you're enjoying the characters, and I hope you enjoy how they develop from here. I'm hesitant to accept such high praise, but your kind words really mean a lot to me. Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
-Pluto
Date: May 26 2021 10:29 PM Title: Laura
Now that was a nice reuinion. The explosion of rightous rage, of calling out the tormentor. No more fearfulness, no more sorrow, no more anxiety, only rage and hate. It must have felt good to get that out of his system and no one can say it wasn't justified. I'm enjoying this story more than I thought I would.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, Brian had nothing left except pure rage, hatred, and pain. And like you said, nobody can blame him. I'm really glad to hear that you're enjoying the story more than you expected! I hope I can keep your interest, and thank you very much for reading.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 26 2021 5:32 PM Title: Laura
I doubt this could be called a slightly less happy reunion haha. Great work as always! I'm following this story since the early chapters of the first part and damn... It's so damn great how excellent was the character development throughout all the story, definitely top tier of the site.
Also, I don't know what I was looking forward to more, for Brian reunión with his sister, or Brian yelling at his mother because of all the shit she did to him.
Author's Response:
Yeahhh, that was probably a bit of an understatement. Fine, I'll upgrade it to "a moderately less happy reunion."
I know, you were one of my very first reviewers! It means a lot to me that you've continued to read and enjoy the series, and thank you so much for the high praise. I like stories about people, so character development is my favorite thing. I'm really glad you've enjoyed it so far, and I hope you enjoy how everybody develops from here.
I totally get what you mean, it was also hard for me to pick the scene I was looking forward to the most! It was really those two events that inspired me to continue the series in the first place, so I'm overjoyed that we finally made it. With that being said, we've still got a lot of exciting stuff left. Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoy where we go from here!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 26 2021 12:48 AM Title: Laura
The second half of this chapter was exactly what I was waiting for. This chapter was so satisfying that I can hardly wait for the next chapter. I'll be looking forward to it!
Author's Response:
Aw thanks, I'm really glad it didn't disappoint! Five chapters in six days is pushing it, even for me, so I'm forcing myself to take a 2-3 day break. After that, though, the next chapter will be out soon. I hope you enjoy it!
-Pluto
Date: May 25 2021 8:48 AM Title: Laura
Brian- I'm fine. I'm fine. You can handle this Brian. Let's just get this over with to make Jenny happy. Laura- "...my son". Brian-I'm very not fine now.
Author's Response:
Yep, that's pretty much it. Those two words were basically the worst ones she could have picked. Tough luck, lady.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 25 2021 4:00 AM Title: Laura
I needed to take some deep breaths during this chapter my god. She really came here hoping to patch things up with Brain, I mean come on, on some level you had to have expected this kind of reaction. I pity her but I feel even worse for Job believe it or not. She had no idea of any of the shit Brains been through and she finds out like this, fucking hell man I hope she doesn’t beat herself up for this. But damn I hope this was at least cathartic for Brain, letting all that raw fucking emotion out, all that pain, all that sorrow, all that rage, I hope it helps him at least. Thank God for Elezabeth man she is the motherly rock this man needs right now more than anything. But hey now that they’ve got a chance to talk it out, I’m sure that Brain and Luara can be a happy family again ha...ha............ha... :(
Author's Response:
Yeah, like I said it was gonna be intense! Had my heart rate up a bit as well. Definitely, she should have been expecting something like that.
No kidding, that was pretty much the worst way for Jen to find out about everything. What her mom said, the fact that Brian was led to believe that she didn't even want to see him in prison, *and* that her brother tried to kill himself. This will definitely mess with her head.
Absolutely, Elizabeth is the mom that he needs, and he's really lucky to have her. This will be what the next chapter is about, so I hope you enjoy it.
Yeahhhhh, safe to say that a happy family is probably out of the question for Brian and Laura. It's sad, but sometimes that's the way it has to be. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 25 2021 2:34 AM Title: Laura
Mic drop
Author's Response:
Thanks much!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 25 2021 1:38 AM Title: Laura
AAAAnd Damn! Thats how it is son! The truth! Let it out! Man that was intense! Hot damn I was shaking saying "You go my boy!"! That woman deserved it! Hopefully now Jennifer will udnerstand. Brian needs Jenn as his family, but not his ex mother. You can't destroy your child like you did and expect some kind of grace. She deserves to be alone. To lose the family she claimed to protect because in the end it was about her own convinience and safety, not protecting her family. Let justice continue to be had!
Fantastic job my friend. Man the shivers...
Author's Response:
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Pretty damn intense, that's for sure. Absolutely, some things just can't be forgiven. Both Laura and Jen need to come to terms with that fact, which will hopefully be easier for Jen now that she knows everything. I hope you enjoy how everything progresses!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 24 2021 7:22 PM Title: One-on-One
Oh, shit I realize when in my last review I wrote Cass when I meant Cathy lol my bad, and then I read this chapter and I was so confused when Cass set up dinner reservations for Jen and Luara thinking it was Cathy lol. This whole chapter was great and Elizebeth confronting Laura was wildly cathartic even if it made me a smidge sad for Laura. I can only imagine when Brain confronts her, I get shivers. When Jen mentioned Brians sexuality it put the biggest smile on my face, like I should have been expecting she’d know since they’re so close but it was still caught me off guard in the best of ways.
Author's Response:
I figured that you probably meant Cathy! No worries, and you're definitely right - Jen finding out about what she did is a recipe for disaster.
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and Elizabeth's confrontation. I hope Brian's meeting with her doesn't disappoint, it'll be pretty intense.
I'm also glad you liked Jen's mention of Brian's sexuality! I thought that was a good way to show how close they are, so I'm glad it came through for you. It made me smile to write, as well.
Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter! It'll come out pretty soon, maybe even today.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: May 24 2021 3:52 PM Title: One-on-One
Wonderful new chapter. I hope you don't betray the characters though. Laura Bentley may feel regret and guilt, but everything is how it relates to her. Elizabeth hit the nail on the head when she accused her of wanting to apologize to make herself feel better. I just don't see anyone who'd say that she'd kill him herself actually growing. I hope the chapter where he meets her is more him gaining the closure he needs.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! I'll definitely do my best to craft their reunion in a logical/sastisfying way, and I hope it doesn't disappoint. Definitely, both she and Jennifer need to think less about what Laura wants, and more about how it will make Brian feel. I hope you enjoy what happens next!
-Pluto
Date: May 24 2021 9:59 AM Title: One-on-One
Ugh, make it a one and done please: "I accept your apology. No I don't forgive you. Please stop trying to see me. Why?! Jen it's time you learned what mom said to me the last time she ever saw me as a normal boy". Jen should probably be included in the next meeting, even if learning what Laura said damages her newly built relationship with her mother it would otherwise leave her confused and not understanding of why Brian wants nothing to do with her. It's just going to build up friction between him and Jen if she keeps going about things and pressures Brian into talking with their mother more without realizing just how badly Laura damaged him mentally. Plus I really just can't see all of the girls being able to control their slapping urges with Laura in the same room as Brian with practically anything she says (or reveals) bound to set one of them off and it'll feel so good for one of them to hit her on Brian's behalf.
I'm curious if Senator Day is spending the expensive lunch date with the Bentley women, more as a political ploy then anything. The senator who cleared Brian Bentley's name is having lunch with his family at an upscale restaurant, but where's Brian the media asks? They'll try to flood Jen as they arrive or leave, "Hapy birthday Jen. It must be a great day knowing your brother is innocent and alive. Tell us, have you seen him, where is he?" I suspect Senator Day is playing up the media to further her name recognition. Actually helping Brian and the girls is just a side favor. We're ticking down to her ultimate power move where she presents the "miracle" of discovering shrinking can be reversed.
On the alternative topics, I'm wondering if SPAR has already been cancelled/postponed. It was kind of mind-boggling to learn Allie has killed 256 people in under a year as a Chevalier. Considering if the Silver Strip has some dozen+ Chevaliers, a daily session each means it's not absurd to claim 10,000+ people have been executed there in recent years. Even if there's single digit numbers of SPAR facilities, the cracks are starting to show. Did this alternate USA really have an epidemic of mass murderers, since Brian was exclusively the first single victim murderer to be sent there.
And going back to my early theories, all Chevaliers are tested and guranteed to pass pyschopath tests, Allie being the exception since she got swept in with Elizabeth's meddling. I'm still curious about what the government intends to do with SPAR agents. Public opinion was already leery of them, Allie's family disowned her for becoming one. Brian won't be the first case of a victim of falsified justice under scrutiny. If the government fails to hide chevalier identities, a handful of people are going to be blasted on the media as the scapegoats of the judicial systems injustice. I'm really curious if Cathy tries to reach out to Allie again, if she'll express guilt and remorse about hurting Brian. Cathy also hinted that Chevaliers might've made a black market in shrink victims. She claimed to have brought victims home and alive from her sessions before. I'm curious if this gets confirmed and exposed before the stories end.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! As always, appreciate your thoughts and theories. I hope you enjoy how their meeting proceeds.
I probably should have written it to be more clear, but Senator Day isn't actually at the restaurant with Jennifer and Laura, she just set up the dinner reservation for them. It really was a kindhearted gesture towards Brian, no greater meaning. As for everything else, you'll find out eventually. Hope you enjoy it!
-Pluto