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Reviewer: kenny224 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: October 27 2021 1:47 AM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

Hey Theresa,

I read the first few chapters, and then the last two, since you specifically recommend the second to last chapter in my story reviews.

I'm guessing you're a non native English speaker because you use a ton of words that are, let's say, pretty obscure? lol at least to a dummy like myself.  Not that it's a bad thing per se, but sometimes i feel like you use a different word then what feels most appropriate, or I have to look up what it means (which isn't actually a bad thing, but sometimes it seems like it's slight overkill)

for instance you use "squash obsession" instead of "crush obsession" 

again this isn't incorrect, per se, especially considering we are specifically talking about a fetish here, but it did take me a second to understand what you were talking about.  (I thought maybe you meant the game at first, lol)

As to the story itself, it's not bad.  I dont share many of the same "interests" as you, so but considering what i read that I'm into your descriptions are actually quite good compared to other stories I've read on the site.

You can probably tell from my own writing style what I like in terms of the macrophilia fetish and writing in it specifically, so you'll probably understand what I mean.

In any case, I think by reading and writing, you'll improve in some of these syntactical and grammar issues, especially if you are a non native English speaker, that will only come with time.

In any case, I do love the concept, especially in your last two chapters.  I can't say that i will read everything as certain fetishes are a big no no for me, but as long as the story is parsed out in a way that can separate some of these things I look forward to reading more. 

Feel free to leave a review in my story if you'd like to chat more about writing or, uhh our shared strange "eccentricities" as you might put it, not that I'm an expert in either or anything.

-kenny


Reviewer: Wutt117 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 29 2021 5:28 PM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

Hello! I'm really enjoying how it is coming out so far. I like the detail you've put in, especially with how you've described the crushing. I applaud you for putting yourself in the story, I can't imagine that I'd be as comfortable to publish a story about myself and that surely must require a great deal of confidence. My only criticism is perhaps a lack of content in some of the chapters, which can be somewhat short. In chapter 3 I had hoped you would detail Jessica's feet a bit more, as her heels would likely be visible with those shoes. I see a tag you have is unaware, I'm hoping for some accidental crushing under her feet at some point! 

I hope you continue this!

I'd like to ask if you take on commissions, I like your work so far and would be willing to pay for a short story from you. I can reached by email if you're interested at rlaw4747@gmail.com 



Author's Response: Dear Wutt117, Allow me to express my sincerest appreciation towards your review. I will add more details on the contour of my friends’ feet. Please keep in mind that while the story is fictional, but all the characters are paralleled from my everyday life. So, please be aware that each one of my friends have calluses on their feet from wearing dress pumps, from the bottom of their feet, to the toes. I prefer to apply realistic details in my stories, so my friends’ feet are unlikely to be as silky as you might think, while they’re supple, but that’s merely agile and flexible. It doesn’t mean that they’re silky-smooth. For example, in Chapter 6, when my breasts were worn down from chafing against Laura’s foot, that is a realistic possibility. Actually, Laura has hammertoes, so in this chapter, “based on the way she put me, her thumb toe will be on top of my face, while her index toe, middle toe, fore toe, and pinkie toe will cover the rest of my figure”, realistically my body will actually be supporting the bend in the middle of her toes, so that would be good for her. Theresa

Reviewer: LoverOfTheLarge Signed [Report This]
Date: March 28 2021 5:31 AM Title: Chapter 6 – Ashiatsu – a Deep-Tissue Massage - the result was like a nipple-sparing mastectomy

Alright so far. I think you will get better as you write more.



Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. With gratitude, Theresa

Reviewer: Inwiththebooks Signed [Report This]
Date: March 27 2021 3:27 PM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

So this one is a bit hard for me to read through because of how its structured. Essentially what I mean is the details can detract from the overall flow of the story. In the first chapter alone it has a couple of asides devoted to exact measurements of the characters and appearance descriptions. These can detract rather than add to the reading experience. Generally its better to give a brief description, hit on the notable points and let the reader fill in the gaps there. With details generally ask, does this detail jerk someone out of the story or does it flow correctly?



Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. With gratitude, Theresa

Reviewer: Shaman Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 23 2021 10:18 PM Title: Chapter 1 – Prologue

It's very interesting reading from this perspective. I'll continue reading shortly!



Author's Response: Dear Sherman, Allow me to express my sincerest appreciation towards your review. I tried to add a photo of Jessica and me to the summary and Chapter 3, where I introduced my real-life partner, Jessica to the story. While it was uploaded successfully, but it didn’t get posted, I am not sure what happened. Perhaps, it is being reviewed, so please check again later. Theresa

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