Date: October 13 2021 8:03 AM Title: An American Nightmare
Since the story line is the foundation of the quality concerning any creative writing, your narrative is excellent. The imaginary account, emotional state, and the thorough description on the digestive progression while Max was straining in Ashley’s stomach were brilliantly written.
In spite of this, while it is accurate and convincing that Max should be lifeless at the time that he reached the duodenum, yet, the complex digestive progression should be very interesting. Especially when Max’s remains are being sort out in the biliary tract, where the pancreatic juice and bile support the digestive procedure by breaking down nutrients. For example, the process of break down Max with the digestive enzymes should make a fascinating description. Moreover, the absorption of fluids, such as water and sodium (electrolytes) also should begin in the small intestine. In which, should make another fascinating description.
Anyway, I hope that the above-mentioned feedback is helpful.
Thank you so much! :-) Yes, I think this was the first story where I started going into more details regarding the digestion process beyond the stomach and I am still educating myself on some of the details. I will definitely take your feedback into consideration regarding future stories! Very glad that you enjoyed this one.
Date: March 10 2021 6:12 AM Title: An American Nightmare
Honestly really great writing. The length is impressive too. Real glad you explored internals as well, as they're aren't many great stories doing that as of lately. Would be super cool seeing you do an unaware vore story. Regardless, all around great story.
Thank you! :-) Yes, I had a lot of fun writing the longer internals and will try to make that more standard in future stories, even though it increases the overall length of the story. As for the unaware story, I do have an idea for one, but I'm not sure when I'll come around to writing it. More coming, though!