Reviews For Deliverance
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Reviewer: Barrowman Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 24 2021 3:32 PM Title: Rescue

Good stuff again. I love this story. You haven't given up. Please try to maintain this high quality.

To many writers with good stories at some point give up and write annoying chapters.

 



Author's Response:

Sometimes you can tell an author has lost either their motivation for a story or they pump out chapters they clearly put little effort into. I definitely want to avoid that, especially since this is a longer story and I plan to invest a lot of time into it and readers also invest a lot of time into it as well. Hopefully each chapter that comes out only increases in quality as opposed to the opposite!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 19 2021 2:48 PM Title: Resilience

In the immortal words of Sean Penn (as Jeff Spicoli in FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH): "Awesome! Totally awesome!!"

Author's Response:

Awesome!

Reviewer: Ceark Signed [Report This]
Date: September 19 2021 1:29 PM Title: Resilience

Peace building. It's a sweet sense of anticipation for drama, revealing the dark secrets of the fake Tae. And Maddy's flash. A mocking sense of anticipation of admitting mistakes.

Most likely, I'm just too lazy to read carefully and I justify skipping huge chunks of text with disgust / apprehension / unpleasant sensation.

Anyway. The moment of revealing Tae's full past has yet to come?



Author's Response:

At the moment Tae's full past is yet to be revealed. The key bits revealed so far include her real name, the nature of her birth, bits and pieces about the reason for her self-imposed exile.

Reviewer: sandman579 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 19 2021 12:28 PM Title: Resilience

Ah see this is why I don't believe in Amrita's altruism, or at least the altruistic grand design of the family Grace teases at. She really likes inflicting pain on thers and reveling in their misery and indignant rage. Thomas first words learning what Alice has done to specks "you've tried to kill someone?" should normally already be an exoneration in and of itself. Grace was more mad Clair called cute little Eren an "it" then her investigating her cousin afterall. He also immediately accepted his speck sister instead of abandoning her. Grace can't say she's just mad he tried to punch her for thinking he's his sister's attacker and kidnapper, afterall she's involved in one of them and related to the other. He seems the complete opposite of who inner family considers against their ideals. He sees specks as people and is willing to accept and protect his sister as one in-spite of knowing she's done terrible things because he gave his word to protect her. 


And yet as she beat him uncounscious, she believed people like Thomas were a threat to the world her family wants. His only sin apparently being his strong independence to their idea of everything in control. If upstanding, loyal, and protective characters like Thomas are a threat to your family's vision of world peace, what exactly does that peace entail? Everyone else diminished outside the family and loyal servants allowed to be elavated? Elimination of choice and freedoms? Obey the family's will or be crushed, literally? I have a feeling the family elders have a grand dystopia they're covering up and bedazzling as a utopia while the finer elements of how they'll control the population in the name of peace are being muddled to anyone outside the circle. I'm thinking back to how Jisoo spits on her birth mother's name for ruining her grandmother's original plan and betraying the family.


Grace slips out knowing what a speak Jisoo's face looks like gazing up at a normal in anger and frustration. I don't think that was a picture or video of Jisoo. I'm thinking Grace was literally standing over her speck cousin prior to her ascension, taking the opportunity to taunt and humiliate the little girl over her plight before revealing the truth and offering her to be reborn. I'm back to wondering who exactly retrieved Jisoo from her adoptive family and revealed to her the truth of her origins, how exactly she was conditioned to join the Amrita family, and what event drove her out. If everything about how terrible her mother is was 2nd hand accounts by Grace and her extended family or experienced by Jisoo in an ill-fated reunion. Because if Grace is this sadistic and twisted while believing she's doing the familiy's will, what's the rest of the family's inner circle like and just how evil could Jisoo's mother have been?


 Also I wonder if Maddie's revelation of the plight and suffering of specks makes her do a 180 on what Eureka's robotic aids are built for. If she musters the courage to apologize to Eren and tell him about her commune experience and new understanding of speck's suffering, say she has a new vision for Eureka and offer him the chance to come back; I'm curious how Jisoo reacts and if Eren just flat refuses or considers it. I wouldn't be too surprised if Jisoo pulls strings for an Amrita subsidiary to suddenly back Maddie as a new investor; either entirely out of the blue or after Jisoo calls her back privately with the investor offer if she promises to never reach out to Eren again.



Author's Response:

For Grace, she definitely feels slighted by the gall Thomas had to verbally lash at her in broad daylight. She considers it an affront to her honor and pride that he would dare do such a thing, so feels the need to put him in his place so to speak. The fact that he is a thorn in her cousin's side and his downfall would allow Jisoo to return to the fold is simply an enjoyable side benefit, her wrath is not reserved exclusively for those who mistreat specks. Rather she will crush anybody she considers an enemy to her family or herself. Amrita absolutely has grand intentions for the world, and how altruistic or noble they are will ultimately come down to perspective as it is explored later. 

As for Jisoo's mother, Keqing Chen, you raise a very good point! If the future that Grace seems to desire so intensely is built upon such tactics and there seems to be shady things going on with Amrita, then what was her sin? 

Reviewer: somerandomguy7 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 19 2021 9:33 AM Title: Resilience

Like others have pointed out, is interesting that Thomas seems to be someone who actually respects specks as people. But Grace still treats him as if he's no different to Alice. I wonder if that will play into something later on.

I'm also looking forward to Maddie storyline and how she'll develop as a character and try to redeem herself for what she did to Eren. 

Off topic, but I can't wait to see the other 2 cousins that have to evaluate Eren to see if he's husband material. I'm curious if one of them might take a liking to him and even as far as develop some feelings for him, making the situation more complicated for Eren and Jisoo's marriage proposal. 

Can't wait what you come up with next for the story!



Author's Response:

I'm thrilled someone actually remembered that! There are certain traditions and procedures taken to approve marriage within the Chen family. It will be detailed more later, but one of the core components is a form of checks and balances which involves approval from three family members before someone can be married into the family. Those three family members cannot be in the same 'branch' of the family. So look forward to seeing a few more members of the Chen family from other parts of Asia... ; )

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 14 2021 1:48 AM Title: Revival

I know I certainly enjoyed it! I thought sure it was going to be Claire occupying the box. Keeping Tom's attention focused on her while Grace or Xiangling hit him with a blowgun dart dip-tipped in shrinking potion.

But, then again, I might still prove half-right. Only the prompt posting of chapter 17 will tell me for sure. ;-)

Author's Response:

Surprise surprise! Alice's story is not quite finished yet it would seem, but the general idea to have a present for Thomas was absolutely the plan all along!

Reviewer: sandman579 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 13 2021 5:40 AM Title: Revival

Oh-ho, so they threw her back up then and kept her alive. If she lost fingers, half a leg, and most of her skin looks melted she definetly had weeping wounds all over her body. Grace had to given her some high grade medicines to keep her from dying of blood loss or infection. Curious if Grace had something in mind keeping her alive, because Alice was swallowed befoer Thomas entered the picture trying to attack her for confusing her for Tae after Alice disappeared. Whatever it was she definetly has another role to play here.

Grace wants Thomas as her plaything, and really wants him at that. Maybe it's a combination of several things. Jisoo's found a little man, and her life's been improving with Eren so maybe there's some jealously on Grace's part about her cousin having a little speck entirely at her mercy but ends up becoming a couple in love with each other. All of Grace's specks so far have been normal people she's shrunken, abused, and broken. She particularly doesn't like how her victims will is broken so fast. So the bold, aggressive, and protective Thomas has caught her eye.

I wonder if the cousin's have a bet about how decent or terrible Thomas' fate goes depending on how he reacts to his little speck sister. Jisoo killed two men for mocking Eren in a restaurant and Grace's main gripe with Claire was she called her cousin's cute little boyfriend an it. Grace, Jisoo, and a team of their best guards are most likely watching a feed of the room nearby. If Thomas cradles his sister, telling her it's going to be alright, promising big bro will protect her, refusing to kill her if she begs him to just end it for her, or anything else where he treats her wll I wonder how the cousin's will react? They're probably still going to shrink him, either surrounding him and threatening to just kill them both if he won't let them syringe him or if Jisoo walks in alone and beats him down in a rematch.

By all accounts Thomas is more or less even with them. He tried to attack Grace after confusing her with the Tae knowing Tae beat his sister bloody and now Alice was missing, but Tae's already tried assassinating him once since then. So if he surrenders himself to protect Alice or gets taken down defending her, The Amarita girls will be betraying their whole self-righteous "we're going to protect all specks one day" spiel if Thomas gets shrunken and tortured protecting his newly speck sister. Claire's kind of in the same boat. She hasn't done anything noticeably terrible to specks yet other then just ignoring them, so is Grace going to taunt and boast to Thomas by revealing Claire's her little plaything as well and either kill her in front of him or finally brea her in the coming days?

I guess we'll see Madeline visit Northside at some point? See a struggling speck commune abandoned by the city and learn from their rep who steps out to ask what she wants that their generators are dead or failing, the city slashed their funding to next to nothing so no new food or barely any even for specks, and that Eren was a former resident who was among the one's forced out to stretch out the food and conserve electricity. "He didn't have to work for me, his needs were met Grandpa. Specks get all their needs met in their state of the art communes."- (Worldy grandpa gives her a hard stare). I'm curious if your setting up Madeline to realize how bad Eren's life was and try to reach out to him to apologize and ask him to come back. If you want the story setting to stay in Norwich or have Jisoo spirit Eren away to Korea or somewher in Asia. Because first Eren may be too hurt to accept her apology. And two Madeline's going to end up in Jisoo's crosshairs. She already humiliated and debased him and even tried to kill him by smacking him out of Jisoo's hand. And now she's going to risk becoming an obstacle for Jisoo to remove by stealing him or preventing him from going home with her as Jisso could see it.



Author's Response:

Thomas is at this point definitely at least even with them. Whatever slight either party has committed against the other has at that point been avenged in some way, but unfortunately neither side is willing to let bygones be bygones and walk away. And Thomas knows too much as well. 

Maddie is actually from Pennsylvania (she attended Carnegie) and lives in Philidelphia, so she will most likely visit a Commune there as opposed to Norwich which is in Massachussets. But as always your predictions are very close to the mark!

Reviewer: Halfpint939 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 12 2021 10:26 PM Title: Rescue

Read later



Author's Response:

: )

Reviewer: johnsmith10992 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 12 2021 12:43 PM Title: Revival

I was wondering if she'd be vomited up and survive! I thought it odd that you went over Alice's thoughts and surroundings upon entering Tate's stomach. Now it makes perfect sense. Though it seems you hinted at Sylvia being dead (e.g. motionless). Guess we'll find out soon! Either way, wonderful work and I look forward to the next chapter, hopefully with some more sexy fun between Eren and Jisoo to break it up.

 

You know what would be an interesting ending. Unless I misread something, it's my understanding that they can be grown back to normal. What if Claire was grown back and given Thomas. I wonder if their viewpoints would change? 

 

Lastly, love the angle you're taking with Maddie. Wouldn't it be ironic if she fell for a speck, haha?



Author's Response:

Alice's survival is a little more morbid, but you'll learn those messy details later! And look forward to more Eren/Jisoo focused chapters as well, now that Thomas's manhunt arc has come to a close and we enter some new plotlines I'm excited to finally put to paper after so much build-up. 

Reviewer: Barrowman Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: September 12 2021 7:21 AM Title: Revival

Very good chapter. Loved all of it.
Someone finally thinks for themselves and not the mainstream media. Let's see of Maddie learns.

I wonder of Thomas is a jerk. He does seem somewhat honorable. 
I love how you did that. Simple fysical torture is limited, but letting him see his sister is a disfigured speck is good.

Alice doesn't deserve the easy escape of death. I would be funny if she will be a speck forever. Her disfigurement maybe healed if she is a good pet.

I hope they don't capture Thomas right away. His speck sister, that idea need to sink in for at least a few days?

 



Author's Response:

We can only hold out hope for Maddie!

Reviewer: seldom Signed [Report This]
Date: September 07 2021 2:51 AM Title: Revelation

What a well-written, fantastic story! I don't normally like mini-people stories, but this one has such great characters and fascinating world-building.



Author's Response:

Thank you very much! 

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 31 2021 11:03 PM Title: Revelation

To paraphrase Lewis Carroll:

"Suspensier and suspensier!"

Author's Response:

Indeed!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 31 2021 10:44 PM Title: Reckoning

"...high intensity cardio..."

LOL! Shouldn't that be "...high intensity Kard(i)o..."?

Author's Response:

Ha! I suppose it is lol

Reviewer: sandman579 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 31 2021 6:48 PM Title: Revelation

Just what the heck happened during the diminishing event 100 years ago? I could understand if specks were carriers for the still active virus that would occassionally effect a normal human to shrink or pass onto a pregnancy and cause normal parents to recieve a speck baby. But one of the victims even said after she was shrunk that it just doesn't happen to people anymore. Some characters like Claire say propoganda like "Its God's punishment" but I can't see society as a whole believing that. There's the propoganda that specks are both habitual thieves stealing a fortune from regular people while also draining billions from governments. But this shouldn't be universal. The holes should be everywhere, with local politicians or economists noticing missing momey in the budgets or regular folks noticing anything of significance being stolen by a speck. Literally the only thing I can see them stealing is jewelry or random food scraps as even smartphones would be too large to make off with.

 

Maddie's outburst is rather strange. I understand if it's a plot device to help facilitate Jisoo to convince Eren to leave the state's with her with no community or job ties to hold him. But all of these business and tech people are literally fighting against their own interest. If it works, just keep quiet about a speck being involved as long as you can and it won't be an issue when people do find out. They'd rather reject Eren's work, which they may not even be able to replace if Eren's the only engineer who could handle the task, when the company simply won't survive if they don't release the robot now to their investors. Does Maddie really have such a contrasting personality where she wants to help the elderly and disabled while clinging to some prejudice against specks? She seems to smart to fall for the propoganda, so what's her personal issue with specks?

 

Technically robotic research and implementation is further ahead in Asia then in the US. If Eren's acceptance into Amrita goes well, will we see him allowed to join or develop a branch in robotics? It would be an amusing twist if Eureka recovers from throwing him out, only for Amrita or a company owned by them to invade the market with a better robot with Eren as a public face of the company as a speck. Maddie can't boo-hoo us with how hard she's worked and how much she just wants to help people while being a hateful supremacist. I'd like to see her fail now, especially if it happens while she sees Eren suceed. She did try to strike him and Jisoo's killed for less so I worry Jisoo or an aid might act before we have a chance to see Maddie lose her company normally



Author's Response:

A lot of characters have very different beliefs about The Diminution, which is how I think it would be if it were to happen in real life, especially if it was theoretically something not obviously explained or agreed upon by the big thinkers of the world. Some characters believe that it was a form of divine punishment definitely, while others subscribe to other theories popular with different scientiests, like it was a virus, or some kind of cosmic effect that we don't possess the technology to detect/observe just yet. Claire is not indicative of the entire world's population and what they believe though, your right. Most prejudices against specks are based off propaganda and years of lying and predisposed bias against specks, which blinds people to reality. Not so different from real life bigotry which isn't based off fact but rather stereotypes which while easily disproven still exist. 

For Maddie, it's more about whether or not investors would accept the product. And she is a very honest person by nature who doesn't like lying, but she is still a very alruistic woman. Just like many people who are charitable in some ways but bigoted in others, I would say she's more 'flawed' than 'contrasting'. It's definitely possible in this world to be by all means a 'good person' by most people's standards, but still dislike specks which begs the question of what really defines a good person. 

Ultimately a goal of this story is to demonstrate how pointless and senseless bigotry is, but how even if easily disproven it still remains pervasive and why that is, which is why I love reviews like this one which focus on the human element of the characters, the flaws they have and investigate why seemingly great people like Maddie would have a pitfall. I think outside of the gts elements of the story it's a good thing to think about!

Reviewer: sandman579 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 31 2021 6:27 PM Title: Reckoning

I hope Jisoo knows from personal experience during her youth as a speck that you can't hear a speck's cries from inside someone's shoes, let alone four of them, especially when a fellow speck is standing right on the other side of it. Otherwise that was way too risky of a move for Jisoo. Even with the context that they were normals who murdered a speck in front of Jisoo and deserved to die, in the end Eren's still witnessing or at least carrying the knowledge that his girlfriend kills people who are just like him (in terms of size). Not only that, but she gets off on her murders. She'd also have to explain how the normal humans are now specks.

Then there's all the talk of leaving the states and traveling back to Korea and Asia in general. I'm curious if it's Korea first if the country went from specks are people, just not respected or equals from Jisoo's youthm to full equality like Singapore (not sure which countries Amrita influenced for full equality). I'm still harboring suspicions about the altruism of Amrita. I'm convinced the grandmother and great-grandmother played a role in the diminishment event a century ago and are still making calls handed down to women like Aunt Min. They want to fix this broken world as Jisoo believes, but I'm certain they had a hand in turning millions or billions into specks. It's why I'm going to be angry if Jisoo brings Eren before one of these matriarchs to claim him as her partner, and they act imperious or uppity. An "Are you sure? You can do better as a true blood heir dear.". Instead of graciously accepting him into the fold and apologizing for the life he's endured as a speck.



Author's Response:

For Jisoo in this particular instance, she gets off on the thrill that comes with how risky it is in addition to the usual pleasure she exacts from hurting people she considers to be awful. Also to add on to your point if Eren found out, in a way he helped her kill the people she had in her shoes since she decided they wouldn't die until Eren made her scrunch her toes together (of course she probably would have killed them anyways) when she came. 

So slight correction, Jisoo intends on returning to her family roots based in Singapore, not Korea which was originally her home before she 'ascended'. The Diminution itself is intentionally left very vague and only bits and pieces of how it happened are provided with each chapter to paint the entire picture, so the motivations that these matriarchs have in the modern day will be very interesting indeed since not everything is known just yet!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 31 2021 1:16 PM Title: Ravenous

Tae Jisoo wouldn't happen to be the granddaughter of the Empress of Kyojin, would she?

Author's Response:

I didn't expect to see a reference to Act of Gods here! Unfortunately she is probably only a great-great-great grandniece or something. There might be a continuation of Act of God's at some point in the future, most likely featuring the Empress's subjugation of western colonies that seek to defy her rule so it's something to look forward to if you enjoyed that story. However that will be after Deliverance is completed (and this is a very long story) AND after a different story is finished as well unless I find the time to crank that out too.

Thank you very much and I appreciate the attention to details!

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 31 2021 1:13 PM Title: Res Nova Part 3

Well, these last three chapters certainly saw an unexpected turn of events.

Author's Response:

Those were the Res Nova Chapters I assume? Originally they were one chapter but I realized just how bloated it was and how twisty the story would quickly become to have it all be in one chapter so I decided to break it up at the cost of the last chapter being very short by comparison. I've also never really done a classic 'fight scene' before part three which was very fun! I hope you enjoyed.

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 30 2021 5:01 AM Title: Res Nova Part 1

WOW! I've read these first ten chapters in one sitting. And I've got to tell you...it is excellent!

You've written this so skillfully, I didn't even know this was set in the 22nd century till you used an actual numerical date! Which makes the use of a technocratically unified Asia twice as brilliant. Making your story feel like the screenplay for some cyberpunk anime feature. (a la the original "Ghost In The Machine").

Keep up the good work! And I'll read you in the morning. G'night!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! That's a lot of reading to do in one sitting, this story is reaching a pretty good length by now so that's super impressive. 

I think a lot of people were a bit taken aback when they realized the time period this story takes place in since it was not stated at the very beginning, but I think that's a more natural way to immerse people into the world so I am glad it was not confusing and you actually liked the way it was written in! 

Reviewer: Barrowman Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 29 2021 6:30 PM Title: Revelation

Amazing story and chapter. I'm enjoying it very much.
I liked it how Jisoo scared them very much. These people are beyond saving. 
That you can go from very nice, to so hostile with the intent to do serious harm.

It would be funny, If Jisoo would shrink them and throw them into a speck village where they have to take care of them selves. Never seeing their loved ones again. That will teach them.



Author's Response:

It's definitely a similar 'switch' Jisoo is able to flip too. One moment she is very sweet and friendly, but if crossed can become very malicious!

Reviewer: somerandomguy7 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: August 29 2021 2:03 PM Title: Revelation

Damn, i was hoping Maddie would be the one to accept him, and the other employees would be pissed off about it. Maybe some if not all would leave the party and company, leaving only Eren and Maddie to figure out a way to continue from there. Oh well, guess that ship has sailed. 

Though Desmond seems to be reasonable. Guessing he might be the one to argue in favor of keeping Eren's contributions and convince Maddie to talk to Eren and have him to keep working there. Fingers crossed!



Author's Response:

We haven't seen the last of Desmond or the Eureka team, stay tuned and see how they react post realization!

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