Reviewer: bobbylaws1 Signed [Report This]
Date: September 20 2021 1:35 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson

Hey! Did plan to continue this story! It's really excellent!

Author's Response:

Just posted another chapter! Back from Hiatus now, lol

Reviewer: bobbylaws1 Signed [Report This]
Date: August 08 2021 1:43 AM Title: Family Drama

Hey! Did you plan to continue this soon? It's one of the best stories on here, and I can't wait to see what happens with the Beaumont family!

Author's Response:

Yep, I'm still working on it! I've just been super busy with work this summer. I start to slow down in fall and so am looking to start updating again on a regular basis pretty soon. Thanks! Sorry for the delay!

Reviewer: bobbylaws1 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 11 2021 2:02 PM Title: Family Drama

Hey! Do you plan to continue this story? It's truly one of the best on the site...really hoping you will continue!

Author's Response:

Oh yeah! I've still got lots of ideas to write! Just rethinking things, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go back to my original outline.

Reviewer: squashed123 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 23 2021 8:14 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson

Hey! Thank you for the reply. I had written up a reply to you that got far too long and was eaten by the website. I'll keep it shorter this time. 

The one thing that you gotta do is take your time. Your style is very effective. You transport a lot of story in very few words. I admire that (a lot) but it's hard to do and can sometimes go wrong. All the plot development you outlined can work perfectly fine and I would love to read it, but it needs to be packaged a bit better. Let's take Aubreigh as an example. She has this incredibly well-written scene where she puts her foot in the tank and then tells the tinies that she's only teasing (a thing her mother has said before too). That seems to set the plot for the chapter. Then, in the shower, all of a sudden she has a little winge and regrets everything? I get the logic. She would rather have her friends back. It makes sense. It is simply a packaging issue. These developments need their time for the reader to follow them. 

I hate writing big plots like that because I'm really bad at it and I change my mind often. Most of the time, I find that writing wherever the small plot lines seem to lead naturally is much better, small incremental steps. You need the big ideas too but you can't break them over the knee like that. Now, you don't want to beat around the bush for too long either, but there's got to be a bit more than shower thoughts. 

If I were you, I would try and rework this chapter. Flesh it out a bit, make it lively. Breaks only do one thing, they make you forget important details of your story, which bites you in the butt later. Trying to salvage after a bad chapter is a really frustrating experience. I mean, these plot ideas are all genuinely good and Andrew is extremely well-written (smart!) so long as his actions make sense. But this plot doesn't get to shine right now because you haven't polished it. The way is the destination here, so to speak. 

If I had one wish, that would be it. 

Giving others advice like this always sounds arrogant so I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I like your style of writing very much, I just think that in this case you tried too much plot on too little development. 

Can't wait to see you writing again. Cheers

Author's Response:

Yes, I'm definitely going to rewrite this chapter so it expands more accurately how the characters are moving and flowing. I am going to move back to my original outline, but I'm really excited about the things I'm going to write. This chapter was rushed, because I knew I was not going to have a lot of time to write soon, so I pushed it out before summer came around and now I'm busy both with work and social things.So once I tweak things and get back into the swing of it, I'll be writing a bit more. Thanks for your outlook and viewpoint on things. Happy to fix things before they get to wonky!

Reviewer: GhostEraser Signed [Report This]
Date: June 19 2021 2:44 PM Title: Family Drama

Great story, very well written. I can understand Mrs. Beaumont's feeling being all over the place, trying to reconcile her love for her husband and her hatred of tinies. But, she's a cold blooded killer and I hope she suffers for it. I really hope Aubreigh can grow up and start treating the tines with respect again. Time will tell, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your story. Thanks so much for your hard work on this!

Author's Response:

Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Reviewer: Pluto Pendragon Signed [Report This]
Date: June 19 2021 6:36 AM Title: Family Drama

This seems to have been quite the controversial chapter, and I can understand why. With that being said, I figured I might as well add my unwanted two cents, since my opinion slightly differs. I see that you're thinking about taking a break from this story, and I think that's probably a wise move. I know how stories can invade your mind, constantly jumping back and forth between different directions you can go, and how exhausting that is. Stepping back from that mindset always helps, I just hope that you're not feeling discouraged. The reviews all definitely come from a place of love for your story and characters.

Anyway, on to this chapter. I think the criticisms about Natalie are valid, she did make some odd moves. I also understand, though, that she's obviously dealing with a lot of difficult life events at the moment, which is bound to mess with anyone's head. People certainly want her to dominate Andrew, myself included, but it's important to remember that this is her husband, and it'll take some time for her to reconcile the fact that the man she loves is now a tiny. I think some weird decisions can be forgiven.

My main thoughts, though, are about Aubreigh. I see that you were thinking about a redemption arc, but intense pushback has led you to reconsider. I personally would have really enjoyed it, but I 2000% think that her doubts this chapter were needed and logical, at least. Her transition to cruel and dominating was actually one of the few issues I've had with this story, as it felt quite sudden to me. I mean, up until a few days ago she was considering dedicating her career to fighting for the rights of tinies, and now she's casually abusing them and telling one of her best friends that she would be better off dead. Of course that would mess her up, and her reaction in the shower was a totally logical development. Again, I just think this is a case where people's desire for a certain type of erotic content is slightly outweighing their desire for realistic actions. This doesn't even mean that you have to go full redemption, but there's truly nothing wrong with that if you feel like it's the right direction to go.

To that end, I would just like to offer one piece of encouragement - please don't be afraid of going down your own path. There's obviously nothing wrong with listening to your readers, and it's pretty important to know your audience, but it's your story at the end of the day. If you think this story has more to offer than pure domination and cruelty, then I would encourage you to go for it. Either way, this story is going to be wonderful.

I hope your break is enjoyable, you've certainly earned it! I'll be looking forward to the next chapter, and take care.

-Pluto

Author's Response:

I actually quite agree with you. It makes me happy that I've created a world and characters that people reacted so strongly about. But you're right, quite controversial... oh man...

I get that people want to see Natalie dominate her husband... ESPECIALLY ME! that was one of the things I was looking forward to the most in writing this story. I just wanted her to be a lot more manipulative with him rather than just simply physcially dominating him. I wanted her dominance over him to be a physcological roller coaster for him... but I see now that people really want to see her dominate without all the malarkey... guess I got to make some adjustments with Natalie and Andrew going forward.

And with Aubreigh, my gosh, this is the third or fourth revision of her in my outline. Origianlly she was good... then she turned bad (my personal favorite), then she had a redemption arc, then she had a redemption arc and shrank. Ooofda... I think that's why she might seem so flippy floppy in the story.

I think this story is, like you say, just pure domination and cruelty. When I try to make it more than that is when I lose people. Which is totally fine with me... I love those two things, but I did want some realism. But really at the end of the day, it's a fetish story, so I don't know why I would care about realism all that much anyways. So I'll probably just lean into the domineering and evil aspects of the gigantic world moving forward. I don't want to alienate people, and so I really thought a redemption arc would be interesting... but I guess my audience is not really a "redemption" type of crowd! Good to know now!

Either way, thank you for your kind words about the story and about taking a break. I have some time off from work and have been thinking about the story a lot. However, I don't know when I'll get around to figuring out how to dig myself out of this hole... but I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks again!

 

Reviewer: ClayAnders21 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 18 2021 10:41 PM Title: Family Drama

I just wanted to mention that I loved the cliffhanger and the tension present on the last scene, as well as the possible emotional implications for Aubreigh - the chapter was written to seem like she feels bad for the way she treated them and wad ready to apologize herself, only to find out that her mother has denied her that right for one or two of them. Excited for the next chapter and I'm all for pushing the stakes here.

Author's Response:

Thanks man, glad you liked it. You're bang on for the emotional repercussions for Aubreigh.

Reviewer: squashed123 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 18 2021 3:14 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson

Boy, I hate to see Aubreigh doubling back. She was shaping up so nicely. Try not to get cornered in a back-and-forth kind of situation, because it's really annoying to keep the story going from that point on. I know what I'm talking about there, sadly.

I think in total, this chapter (Family Drama) was a bit lackluster and overloaded at the same time. There's so much going on, things changing really fast and very little development. The crushing at the end didn't feel like it actually served a purpose.

Just leaving this here as some constructive (and real) criticism. I still love this story a lot and I've been checking practically every hour since your last upload if there's been an update. I mean, this story has so much potential: the family life, the company (oh my god the company!), general society and so on.

Natalie works because she is manipulative, callous, selfish and a number of other awesome things. When she starts to care, second-guess herself or generally show weakness, a large part of her character becomes lost. To me it feels like this was the case here. Remember how she killed those three people in "The Drive Back Home". Two were murdered out of annoyance or convenience and the third just as a sort of prank. In one or two paragraphs, you encapsuled pages of character building, putting the crown on everything you built her up to. This time, she panics, she can't control herself, she cries, she kills someone accidentally and then someone else without even looking who it is - all to teach some lesson to Thomas? It doesn't make sense to me.

When she wanted to kill Brian, that was SHE in the flesh, although she would probably have made sure his family can see her kill him, just out of spite. She chickened out of that one on some really weird pretext, wanting him to tell lies on her behalf that would have accomplished...what exactly? And why would she eat somebody that's been drenched in her own foot sweat for several hours? That's disgusting.

My criticism always sounds harsher than I mean it. Really, no hard feelings. I just love this story so much. Please do with this critique what you will.

Cheers

Author's Response:

Hey squashed, thanks for the review. You really brought things into perspective. 

Yeah, I was really angling for the redemption route for Aubreigh. I imagined her taking the tinies to a mini city (to "save" then) against her mother's will, creating a huge rift between her and her mom, of course. Then when she shrank, her mom would dominate and torture her to find out where they were. Which in turn, would create more animosity between Aubreigh and the other tinies for selling them out. Seemed like a fun idea at the time, but I dunno... maybe not!

But you're right about Natalie and I regret the writing for this chapter with her. I thought it would be interesting or funny that she TRIES to treat her husband better than regular tinies... but then would miserably fail at that until just giving up and treating him just like the others. But now I'm asking myself why I wanted to explore such a convoluted route to that end... bleh...

I'm going to take a break from this story. Part of the writing issues that you mentioned stem from the fact that I've changed my outline about half a dozen times every couple chapters or so... then when I change my mind again... we'll then I've already written myself into a corner and have to work with what's left. Oh well, you win some you lose some I guess. Just got to figure out where to go from here.

But absolutely thank you for your review and critique. You caught a lot of stuff I didn't realize... but once it was pionted out for me, I knew exactly what/where the problem was.

Reviewer: deathshinigami Signed [Report This]
Date: June 18 2021 12:31 PM Title: Family Drama

I really hope Natalie manages to come out on top. Maybe even gain the favor of the twins back so she can play with them whenever she wants without them feeling unsafe or unloved anymore. You made her too charming, so now I really root for her all the time XD. Fuck Andrew though

Author's Response:

Thanks! I'm glad you like her!

Reviewer: bobbylaws1 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 10 2021 1:42 PM Title: The Drive Back Home

Next chapter coming soon? I can't wait to see what happens with Mr. Beaumont.  Thanks!

Author's Response:

Yes, got first draft down, going back to re-write it and will be posting something this week!