Date: August 26 2021 5:39 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
C'mooooooooooon!
Author's Response:
I'm back :)
[Report This]Date: July 10 2021 10:10 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Ugh! You left this on such a cliffhanger! C'moooooon! Stop enjoying summer and write!
It's just summer, there'll be another one next year!
Author's Response:
Haha! I'm definitely enjoying summer! Lots of time on the lake with friends! But I'm still definitely always thinking about the story. Like I told somebody else, I think I'm gonna go back to my original outline. But I've got lots of fun ideas still have to write down. Just give me a little bit more time and there will be another upload soon! Thanks for liking the story!
[Report This]Date: June 23 2021 8:14 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Hey! Thank you for the reply. I had written up a reply to you that got far too long and was eaten by the website. I'll keep it shorter this time.
The one thing that you gotta do is take your time. Your style is very effective. You transport a lot of story in very few words. I admire that (a lot) but it's hard to do and can sometimes go wrong. All the plot development you outlined can work perfectly fine and I would love to read it, but it needs to be packaged a bit better. Let's take Aubreigh as an example. She has this incredibly well-written scene where she puts her foot in the tank and then tells the tinies that she's only teasing (a thing her mother has said before too). That seems to set the plot for the chapter. Then, in the shower, all of a sudden she has a little winge and regrets everything? I get the logic. She would rather have her friends back. It makes sense. It is simply a packaging issue. These developments need their time for the reader to follow them.
I hate writing big plots like that because I'm really bad at it and I change my mind often. Most of the time, I find that writing wherever the small plot lines seem to lead naturally is much better, small incremental steps. You need the big ideas too but you can't break them over the knee like that. Now, you don't want to beat around the bush for too long either, but there's got to be a bit more than shower thoughts.
If I were you, I would try and rework this chapter. Flesh it out a bit, make it lively. Breaks only do one thing, they make you forget important details of your story, which bites you in the butt later. Trying to salvage after a bad chapter is a really frustrating experience. I mean, these plot ideas are all genuinely good and Andrew is extremely well-written (smart!) so long as his actions make sense. But this plot doesn't get to shine right now because you haven't polished it. The way is the destination here, so to speak.
If I had one wish, that would be it.
Giving others advice like this always sounds arrogant so I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I like your style of writing very much, I just think that in this case you tried too much plot on too little development.
Can't wait to see you writing again. Cheers
Author's Response:
Yes, I'm definitely going to rewrite this chapter so it expands more accurately how the characters are moving and flowing. I am going to move back to my original outline, but I'm really excited about the things I'm going to write. This chapter was rushed, because I knew I was not going to have a lot of time to write soon, so I pushed it out before summer came around and now I'm busy both with work and social things.So once I tweak things and get back into the swing of it, I'll be writing a bit more. Thanks for your outlook and viewpoint on things. Happy to fix things before they get to wonky!
[Report This]Date: June 18 2021 3:14 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Boy, I hate to see Aubreigh doubling back. She was shaping up so nicely. Try not to get cornered in a back-and-forth kind of situation, because it's really annoying to keep the story going from that point on. I know what I'm talking about there, sadly.
I think in total, this chapter (Family Drama) was a bit lackluster and overloaded at the same time. There's so much going on, things changing really fast and very little development. The crushing at the end didn't feel like it actually served a purpose.
Just leaving this here as some constructive (and real) criticism. I still love this story a lot and I've been checking practically every hour since your last upload if there's been an update. I mean, this story has so much potential: the family life, the company (oh my god the company!), general society and so on.
Natalie works because she is manipulative, callous, selfish and a number of other awesome things. When she starts to care, second-guess herself or generally show weakness, a large part of her character becomes lost. To me it feels like this was the case here. Remember how she killed those three people in "The Drive Back Home". Two were murdered out of annoyance or convenience and the third just as a sort of prank. In one or two paragraphs, you encapsuled pages of character building, putting the crown on everything you built her up to. This time, she panics, she can't control herself, she cries, she kills someone accidentally and then someone else without even looking who it is - all to teach some lesson to Thomas? It doesn't make sense to me.
When she wanted to kill Brian, that was SHE in the flesh, although she would probably have made sure his family can see her kill him, just out of spite. She chickened out of that one on some really weird pretext, wanting him to tell lies on her behalf that would have accomplished...what exactly? And why would she eat somebody that's been drenched in her own foot sweat for several hours? That's disgusting.
My criticism always sounds harsher than I mean it. Really, no hard feelings. I just love this story so much. Please do with this critique what you will.
Cheers
Author's Response:
Hey squashed, thanks for the review. You really brought things into perspective.
Yeah, I was really angling for the redemption route for Aubreigh. I imagined her taking the tinies to a mini city (to "save" then) against her mother's will, creating a huge rift between her and her mom, of course. Then when she shrank, her mom would dominate and torture her to find out where they were. Which in turn, would create more animosity between Aubreigh and the other tinies for selling them out. Seemed like a fun idea at the time, but I dunno... maybe not!
But you're right about Natalie and I regret the writing for this chapter with her. I thought it would be interesting or funny that she TRIES to treat her husband better than regular tinies... but then would miserably fail at that until just giving up and treating him just like the others. But now I'm asking myself why I wanted to explore such a convoluted route to that end... bleh...
I'm going to take a break from this story. Part of the writing issues that you mentioned stem from the fact that I've changed my outline about half a dozen times every couple chapters or so... then when I change my mind again... we'll then I've already written myself into a corner and have to work with what's left. Oh well, you win some you lose some I guess. Just got to figure out where to go from here.
But absolutely thank you for your review and critique. You caught a lot of stuff I didn't realize... but once it was pionted out for me, I knew exactly what/where the problem was.
[Report This]Date: May 29 2021 11:17 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Loving this more and more.
Author's Response:
Thanks, squashed! Always love hearing from you 👍🏼
Date: May 16 2021 8:44 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Hey! Hope all is going well with the rewrite of the outline. Any thoughts on when you anticipate continuing? Very excited!
Author's Response:
Hey back, yes the rewrite went well. Had something unexpected come up but you can expect to see the next chapter this weekend! Thanks for your continued support, it's very encouraging.
Date: May 15 2021 3:57 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
frissítés? : D
Author's Response:
Soon!
[Report This]Date: April 21 2021 1:43 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
What a great introduction! I'm already loving these family dynamics, especially the mom! The overly strick/stern mother type always makes a perfect giantess, in my opinion! And I love how natural and realistic this conflict feels too! Like even though Natalie may be abusing her size/power a little too much, I can still kind of understand how she feels about wanting her children to be independent someday...
I already can't wait to see where this story goes, and thanks for sharing! :D
Author's Response:
Awesome! I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying it! It's been a lot of fun to write!
[Report This]Date: April 19 2021 1:52 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
I'm so excited to see how they treat Mr. Beaumont and like the tee up that, as Mrs. Beaumont is taking over the company (wonder if Mr. Beaumont knows his wife is pushing him out) that Aubreigh will be taking responsibility for her father...I really hope there is lots of POV from Mr. Beaumont's perspective! Wonder what those soles and toes will look like from his perspective, and hope it's very descriptive! Also can't wait for Natalie and or Aubreigh to get into the tiny people's city where they will be real giantesses!
Date: April 18 2021 3:14 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Hey! Any word on when the next chapter will be posted? Very excited!
Author's Response:
Was editing it today! I'm trying to pick up the pacing with the plot. So I hope we can get back to Mr. Beaumont sooner. Have some cool ideas... at least, I think they're cool ideas, haha.
[Report This]Date: April 09 2021 2:50 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
I loved this chapter; the scenario definitely isn't used enough. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
Thank you, I'm really glad you like it! Thank you for reading and leaving a comment, I appreciate it!
[Report This]Date: March 16 2021 11:51 PM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Make the chapters as long as you want, and don't let anyone tell you different.
Author's Response:
Thank you, I might have to! It's getting hard to write everything I wanna say with such a short limit!
[Report This]Date: March 09 2021 3:27 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Hope all is well! Will you be continuing the story soon?
Author's Response:
Yes! Wrote the next chapter... hated it ... deleted it ... started again. Hopefully something this weekend!
Date: March 02 2021 12:08 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Love the story. Mrs Beaumont is one the meaniest giantesses you hate to love.
Author's Response:
Yes, she is!
[Report This]Date: February 20 2021 11:14 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Maybe she damages Gregg by accident that night. So much so she can't just return him. She feels bad but can't just let him go, so she eats him. I imagine she enjoyed him so much she'll want a replacement. In comes Ben ;)
Author's Response:
Ironic! That's actually what I have in my outline for Gregg! That's definitely going to take her relationship with Ben to a new level.
[Report This]Date: February 15 2021 8:27 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
I prefer Aubreigh character over Natalie, I love it when good girls become evil under good intentions. :)
Author's Response:
Haha, well she might be right up your alley then.
[Report This]Date: February 02 2021 3:53 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
Hoping to see this continue! Bumping with a 10 review :)
Author's Response:
Ha! Thank you very much! I'm working on the next chapter now and I am aiming to post it this weekend!
[Report This]Date: January 19 2021 8:27 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
I love the character developing you made, and being a person who is into feet and teasing i fricking love natalie,how she pushes her own synical limits to test more and more.
Thank you for redacting such a wonderful story and please let us see the end of it.
Also i've always loved tiny female characters
Author's Response:
Thank you very much. I have a lot planned for this story so I 'll keep writing untill the end. I'm gald you like it!
Date: January 19 2021 12:39 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
natalie is a character that you can love to hate lol
nice story
Author's Response:
Thank you!
Date: January 19 2021 12:39 AM Title: Mom's Life Lesson
natalie is a character that you can love to hate lol
nice story
Author's Response:
Thank you, and yes she is!