Reviewer: Sexypure33 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 09 2023 8:05 PM Title: The Plea

Wicked story but what about the Innocence part !????????

Reviewer: CosmicStoryteller Signed [Report This]
Date: November 19 2021 3:17 AM Title: The Plea

This story completely took me by surprise, so much so that I made an account just to review it. This may seem a bit silly, but when you're in this community your expectations for any genuinely gripping stories go down the drain after looking for so long. However, there are a few hidden gems like this one that make the search feel oh so worth it. Quite frankly, this might be the best size story I've ever read for a multitude of reasons, though it also has a few downsides that take away from the story once everything comes to a climax. Keep in mind that all of my criticism comes without reading the second or third parts since I want to review it standalone before moving on. I hope it serves some use to you, dear writer.

The balance of this story is what makes it really powerful in my opinion. Oftentimes stories of this kind are either extremely fluffy while lacking any form of tension, or are extremely tense and gritty while lacking any real substance. Of course both of these stories are fine. One is used as a comfort tool, the other for sexual fulfillment. Though I've found myself not being too fond of either as I've grown into adulthood over the years. Something like this which feels very genuine and humane while also accepting the grim reality of the situation is extremely rare, and the chapters of varying tones make it feel very tangible. If the intention was for a bait and switch, you very much did a good job of building up very common size tropes and deconstructing them to make for very interesting dilemmas and conversation within the story. The respect and seriousness with which they were treated (Such as the morbid nature of the shrink punishment and the actions of the Chev's) only helps to accentuate it. This story's premise stripped of Allie's heroism is a basis for many cruel fetish stories, so seeing something like that turned on its head with seemingly deliberate ruses to make the reader believe they were reading one only furthered my investment once I realized what it was really about. Allie's breakdown as she came to question the system she was brainwashed into believing was infallible while constantly feeding herself delusions as time went on felt so authentic. Minus a very minute number of grievances, it was probably the point where I felt most invested. I was absolutely on the edge of my seat for that encounter scene as well.

Brian and Allie's interactions helped tie it all together very neatly. The utter goofiness and positivity of it was really surprising to me upon first read, and only helped further my love for the budding potential of this story. Going from something so utterly terrifying and emotional to simply watching movies and poking fun at each other felt so human. I almost forgot that Allie was naming off morbid ways to kill him only days ago, and that's how life often goes. The pacing of everything overall felt quite good, and the way they reacted felt pretty believable despite the short passage of time. Even that gets acknowledged as just being a matter of Allie's utter loneliness driving her to be very fast to cling onto Brian. Everything slowly building up until the explosive argument was great too, the argument itself being one of my favorite scenes.

One of the smaller issues I had was the constant need to reference specific events that influenced a character's decision. Such as "Allie sighed, if the reader remembered x thing happened yesterday." It's slightly understandable because of the serial nature of the series, though I feel it's a bit excessive at times and strips the reader of the satisfaction of connecting the dots themselves. At times the world can sometimes feel a bit too grim and unrealistic, I can chalk up some things to Allie's perception, but things like Brian's spat with his mom felt like a bit much. Every other Chevalier being in complete agreement with the system and relishing in their job, the unanimous degree to which certain people and groups can be evil and malicious. Again, I haven't read the other parts so I am merely cracking it up to Allie and Brian's perception. Hopefully it gets rectified as I read on. I think my biggest problem however, has to be character dialogue when anyone is stressed and brought to a boiling point. I stated earlier that the interactions and dialogue are one of the high points, but it feels that the same language and lines were repeated quite a bit when expressing primal anger. Fuck and other swears are repeated to the point that their reactions often feel homogeneous. The abundance of it in certain scenes feels extremely juvenile and it makes it hard for me to fully take it seriously and strip the previously mentioned believability of the scenario away. I think the part in which it hit its peak is a certain scene in chapter 12, I think you'd know the one. Switching to using sharper words that aren't curses, simply accentuating certain words, and many other methods could be used to solve this pretty easily. People react very differently to situations like these. Some things also felt a tad ham-fisted in the delivery, but that was very rare so it didn't bug me all too much.

All in all, the story itself was very inspiring for my own writing. I hope I can inspire others to realize that size and G/t can be more than fetish fuel or shallow fluff. It can make for very interesting dynamics and stories that otherwise wouldn't be made possible. Thank you for writing this wonderful little story, I look forward to the rest.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the extremely detailed and kind review!! I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story, and I'm honored that it inspired you to create an account. I'm even more honored to hear that you think this might be one of the best size stories you've ever read, I can't tell you how much that means to me. Absolutely, all feedback and criticisms are helpful to writers (so long as they're delivered constructively, which yours absolutely are), so thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I'll respond to a few of your points!

Definitely, subversion was one of my main goals when writing this story. You can see that with the first chapter, but also in the ways you described regarding genre and size tropes. Like you, I've always felt that this genre offers so much potential for unique and interesting stories that go beyond the realm of erotica. What I ultimately wanted to write about was the relationship between Allison and Brian, and how their unique circumstances, as well as his size, affect it. I'm so happy that you enjoyed the balance between cruel and gentle, and that you felt it worked in the story's favor. My one true love when writing is gentle content, but I felt the cruel content/setting was just as important to tell the story that I wanted to. Although my other stories are more firmly rooted in the gentle world, I hope that you will still feel the sense of tension and conflict that I tried to have in this one!

Like I said, their relationship was what I wanted to write about, so I'm really really glad that you enjoyed it! You're right on with your observations on the contrasting tone of their fluffy chapters versus the earlier ones, and that's definitely what I was going for! And absolutely, I thought the fact that they were both extremely lonely would help explain their quick bond, despite the short amount of time that had passed. Although I may have hated writing the argument, 'cause that's no fun, I also feel like it turned out well! I'm glad you enjoyed that scene as well.

In regard to your criticisms, I think everything you've pointed out are valid flaws that I've even noticed myself as time has gone on! This was my first attempt at crafting a full on story, size or not, and there are a lot of areas where I think that shines through. I hope that I've improved since then (although I might still be a tad liberal with the curse words when people get upset), and I hope that some of your story grievances are addressed by the sequels! Just on the point of cursing, though, the point was definitely to make them appear juvenile. In my experience, people curse a lot when engaging in those type of explosive arguments, as that kind of intense anger can strip people of their reservations and restraints. I try (emphasis on try) to write dialogue in a more naturalistic way (like writing out "um" and "like" occasionally), so I was just writing that kind of anger as I saw it happening in my mind. If the scene in chapter 12 you're referring to is the one with Laura, though, that was actually slightly more intentional. What I was going for there was the idea that Brian might have actually gotten some of his explosive tendencies, as well as his sailor mouth while doing so, from his mom. Anyway, not saying you have to agree with my rationalizations (or even that they're good ones), but that's what I was thinking as I was writing. Like I said, I can only hope that I've improved since then!

Anyway, I would be so incredibly honored if I helped inspire your own writing at all! It sounds like we share a few values when it comes to this genre, so I'd be very curious to see what kind of stories you write! I'll keep an eye out for your name. Thank you so much again for the review, and I really hope you enjoy the next story! Don't feel compelled at all, but if you're so inclined I would love to hear your thoughts on what happens next. Either way, I really appreciate the review, and best of luck with your own writing!! Take care.

-Pluto

Reviewer: WhydoIhave Signed [Report This]
Date: April 12 2021 9:26 AM Title: The Path

Love this story. It had a good plot, unique premise, and overall good characters. I would love to see a continuation somehow.

Author's Response:

Thank you very much for reading! I'm really happy that you enjoyed the plot, premise, and characters. As for a continuation, you're in luck! The sequel is already up, and there are only a few chapters left. It's even longer than this story, so I hope you'll enjoy it and let me know your thoughts! Thanks again for the review.

-Pluto

Reviewer: 280077s Signed [Report This]
Date: March 31 2021 5:02 PM Title: The Path

I look forward to reading the sequel.

Author's Response:

Thank you very much for reading, and the reviews! I'm really glad you continued to enjoy the story the whole way through. I'm also glad that the emotions resonated with you, even if they aren't the most positive emotions. It's definitely really important to have a good support system when you're going through difficult times, and I'm glad you have someone you can count on. Thanks again for reading the story, and I hope you enjoy the sequel!

-Pluto

Reviewer: 280077s Signed [Report This]
Date: March 31 2021 11:34 AM Title: The Plea

No problem. Don't worry about me, you didn't do anything wrong, I appreciate the concern though. I look forward to reading the rest of it.

Reviewer: KevinR Signed [Report This]
Date: February 23 2021 11:19 PM Title: The Plea

Fantastic story. I love the Chevalier shrink penalty constuct. Well written and thought out. I would not change a thing. I kept worrying that Brian would notice stains on Allies shoes and start freaking out again.

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review! I really appreciate your kind words, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Yes, Allison probably was extra thorough in cleaning her shoes after she brought Brian home. I just started writing the sequel to this story, so I hope you will enjoy it as well!

-Pluto

Reviewer: straysatyrs Signed [Report This]
Date: January 14 2021 8:56 PM Title: The Plea

Holy shit. Where do I even start?

 

-The Situations-

At every step, it felt like you took the hardest way out. Not only were you avoiding the path of least resistance (praiseworthy in and of itself), you were doing the exact opposite. Chapters 9-10 are probably the best examples; having Cathy show up uninvited, her finding Brian, and then not telling her the truth is a hell of situation to put your characters in. The foreshadowing to set up Allison smuggling Brian out was brilliant, too.

 

-The Subversion-

You definitely fooled me with that first chapter, but even that served a narrative purpose: setting up a status quo to be broken. It would've been easy to start it off cold like that, and just tell us what the status quo is. But no, you set the tone: you're going to show us. We have to see why Brian's case is special.

All the points about taking the hard way also apply here, since I thought, at every point at the end of Chapter 9, "Okay, there's no way he's gonna go there, right?" but then you went there anyway.

Chapter 11 was a very difficult chapter for me, likely by design. I've read punishment scenes like this before without any issue. It's not my cup of tea, but I can read it. But here, I'm really invested in these characters. It sort of feels like karma to the reader, in a weird way, for so easily accepting the violence characters in other stories experience. It was really interesting to see these common fantasies approached from "the other side", so to speak.

 

-The Writing-

Perfect grammar and spelling is rare enough. But this? I could do literary analysis to this. The repetition of phrases as a rhetorical device is genuinely reminding me of Slaughterhouse-Five in a way, so that's a good sign. Has the sort of black humor and wit, too. Also, you wrote this in less than a month?? How???

 

-The Characters-

Allison and Brian are both very well fleshed-out, enough to have me digging into my thighs in Chapter 11 waiting for the session to end. Not only do these details give the characters depth, but they're used for narrative purposes as well. The "Weekend" chapters, character development, and emotional journeys would all be impossible without them. Their interactions are lovely, too. I'm pretty sick of the giant/ess just being awful to the tiny, but Allison and Brian's relationship feels reciprocal and friendly. My heart melted into a puddle whenever they were together.

 

Wow, this got long. Y'know, I don't normally like writing essays. I guess, in summary, you're going above and beyond, doing all of the stuff real books would do. Please continue to write in the future! This was such a breath of fresh air.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review! I remember your first review, and I'm really happy that you continued to enjoy the story!!

I really appreciate your kind words, and I'm very glad that you liked the various literary/narrative choices that I made.

I'm happy that you enjoyed how the first chapter served the story! You completely nailed what I was going for.

Yes, Allison and Brian certainly had a pretty rough time throughout the story. I'm glad that you connected with them, even though it had the effect of making some scenes harder to read!

The comparison to Slaughterhouse-Five is a great honor! I definitely tried to use repitition a lot, so I'm glad it came through for you. I may have written this in under a month, but I was either working on or thinking about it pretty much nonstop! It got to the point where I was having pretty strange dreams.

Again, thank you very much for the review! After the response to this story, I'm certainly encouraged to write another one in the future. If I do, I hope you will enjoy it!!

-Pluto

Reviewer: Curvograph Signed [Report This]
Date: January 13 2021 7:22 PM Title: The Path

Despite the large number of positive reviews, I did not read your story as chapters were being released. Having noticed its finished status a few days ago, I felt motivated to get acquainted with it as soon as possible - which in turn ended with me binge reading it.

You crafted a truly heartwarming piece of writing, one that deviates strongly from the average of this site. Quality-wise, the story is very good, though I have to point some issues:

 

• as mentioned by other reviewers, the characters thoughts are explained all too often, even when they are pretty evident. There are times when characters' actions do not tell the whole story, but in Allie's case her motivations, once clarified, were well-known;
• the ending, emotional and optimistic as it was, failed to resolve all the story arcs (probably just managing to fully tie up Allie's unfortuate career choice);
• Brian's (a)sexuality issue: it really feels more like a defense mechanism of a  naturally introvert  preson in face of dreadful circumstances. Brian is shown to never have been an outgoing individual and his mother's betrayal only served to create a deeper feeling of distrust for the world. It is no wonder he does not get aroused, but Allie letting it go seems off, given that it looks to be the case of a mental barrier that needs to be dissolved.
• the Cathy character - she is a total mystery to me and her actions make little sense. The way she is portrayed feels incomplete, as though we - as readers - were missing something important. At the beginning she seemed like a shallow lass, who got off kinky stuff; the last chapter shows an entirely different person though. Too bad we may never know...

 

By now you may have realised that my critique has a purpose: I really cannot wait for Book II to see the light of day and that is where the issus above coud be adressed. The tale is by no means finished and I believe it deserves to be told in full. I just hope lo live long enough to read it (so do not follow the Winds of Winter path).
Sincerely, C

Author's Response:

Thank you for the review! I'm really glad that you decided to read this story. For sure, binging stuff can be way more fun than reading it as each chapter comes out. I really appreciate the criticism!

-Looking back, I totally see the point about too many thought explanations. I'll keep this in mind for future stories!

-I would like to push back on this point a little. It's important to distinguish story arcs and character arcs. While the ending only resolved the one story arc, my focus was on Allison and Brian's character arcs. Obviously, this won't mean much if you were hoping more for story arc conclusions, but I at least wanted to explain my thought process.

-I definitely didn't expect people to push back on Brian's sexuality so much. I do think we have to be careful when saying that his asexuality is tied to his trauma, as if it's something that Allison needs to "fix." That's something that happens all too often with asexual characters in fiction (Dexter Morgan comes to mind), and it can be pretty damaging to actual asexuals. With that being said, I understand how it makes sense in Brian's context. In regards to that, I'll just say this- Allison never explicitly accepted Brian's asexuality, only that they would not be able to have a traditionally sexual relationship. I forgot to say this in my response to other reviews, but it was definitely intentional!

-I see your (and others) point about Cathy. If I do a continuation, I'll be sure to explain Cathy's actions better!

Overall, I really appreciate the feedback! There's certainly a lot of story left that could be told. If I may distinguish myself from GRRM a bit in regards to future stories, I would like to make clear that a follow up story is in no way guaranteed. I'm not going to close the door on the possibility, obviously, but as of now I'm not planning on it. Life is about to start up again for me pretty soon, so at least for the time being I need to step away. Regardless, I'm really happy that you enjoyed this story enough to want a sequel!! Thanks again for reading, and the detailed review!

-Pluto

Reviewer: squashed123 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 09 2021 11:46 AM Title: The Path

Starting out strong with lots of promise and innuendo. Sadly, many strains seem to lead nowhere. Maybe it's just that I'm not so much into gentle stuff, at least when it isn't contrasted with some real danger. But I didn't like the ending, the way in which all just falls into place, Cathy turns out to be abou t as deep as a puddle and everyone lives happily ever after. 

But if that's your thing... 

In terms of writing, I felt like the earlier chapters were better as well. I don't need Allie's thoughts so often, especially when everything she thinks is so blatantly obvious. Mainly, though, I am sad that the story is over, which tells me that I really enjoyed it after all. 

I can hardly wait for your next submission. Please keep at it. You are good. 

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review! I'm sorry to hear that you didn't like the ending, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it overall.

-Pluto

Reviewer: sandman579 Signed [Report This]
Date: January 09 2021 10:12 AM Title: The Path

I really enjoyed seeing a relationship full of emotions and dialogue get so developed and fleshed out. I hope yoou do take up a 2nd chapter in the world setting to further the plot and answer questions we were left with.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed their relationship. That was ultimately what I wanted to write about, after all! Hard to say if I'll write any more stories set in this world, but you never know. At the very least, I need to step away for the time being, since I'm going to be a lot busier starting pretty soon. Either way, thank you so much for reading this story!