[Report This]Date: January 09 2021 9:32 AM Title: The Path
I feel like while this is a great emotional ending, I still would love to see this continued into a second story, or continuation.
Mostly due to the fact after all the shit and pain Brian has been through, I feel he needs that public delcaration of innocents.
(and yes a system wide sweep needs to be made of the Chevallier system) even though the system is most likely swimming with corruption. And you could bet Allison would be targeted, maybe by a underground/secret branch of Chavellier's who officially don't exist but go around doing the same thing that happened to Brian but in secret, taking out and shrinking people whom try and expose the shady shit they are up to.
Cathy's goodbye to Allison was a bit chilling, like she left it open ended but you can tell part of her takes sick pleasure in killing them and she knows this herself that she's a fucked up person deep down.
She still should get on her fucking knees and beg Brian for forgiveness over what she did to him. Again I just feel Cathy needs to know for certain that Brian is innocent (and the public, and his mother) while Brian also needs that acknowledgment, (and come on, seeing that bitch humbled and on her kees realizing she tortured and hurt an innocement man would give me such a rush and cathartic moment)
Brian's mother can go to hell, shrink that bitch for all I care XD
But yeah, in my opinion this feels like the end of "Act 1" if that makes sense?
I would definitely love to stick around for more :)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! I really appreciate that you decided to keep reviewing. People definitely seem to want some kind of follow up, or epilogue. I'll be sure to keep that in mind!
You're right, this was definitely an "Act 1" type of ending in regards to the overarching plot. It might be fun to do a 'far future' type epilogue where I show the ulitmate ending for all the characters. I can't say if it will actually happen, but if it does I hope you will tell me your thoughts! Thank you so much for reading this story.
-Pluto
Date: January 09 2021 8:37 AM Title: The Path
Aaah, here I am reviewing this story for what is hopefully NOT the last time. You never know when an epilogue might occur.. ;) *This review will be pretty big.*
First off, I am so so so, SO fucking glad Allie is not a chevalier anymore. I absolutely loved the fact that she couldn't even handle one more session, she was just that much against her job as all us readers were.
Now. While Cathy didn't get the treatment I would have hoped, I'm actually not mad, I liked the way she understood everything and chose to respect Allie's choice, and i REALLY liked the way she replied when Allie asked her if she liked being a chevalier, or if it was for her own "pleasure", for me it was almost as if she said the words "I could care less about the chevalier bullshit, it just gets me off and it aint illegal". Which just somehow makes Allies point about the SPAR being BS that much prominent, even a chevalier who likes her job doesn't actually do it for justice.. (?)
Since the story is over I would love to hear how close my Cathy thesis is to the truth.. for a bit of extra closure ;)
Now as for Brian, I've read the story partly imagining me in his shoes sometimes, and to be honest, even as a reader who knows this is a fictional story, I still get doubts about Allie. I absolutely love her and I'm 99.9999.....% sure that she would never do anything to hurt Brian but it's just, Not receiving help from anyone in your life only to be helped by your to be executioner must have some effect on your psychology, even if that person ends up being your wife..
Regardless I'm happy that their relationship ended- or rather, started (officialy) the way it did! you can clearly tell Allie is already in love with him and judging from his reply, Brian is too. While this gave me some closure for this story I would still love to see some development in a possible future spin off/continuation should you decide to make one.
One thing i "didn't like" (meaning I just expected it to go another way but eh, such is life, we don't always get what we expect!) Is how Brian never returned to his original size.. I know that in theory such tech doesn't exist, but I'm sure that since the tech to shrink people has been invented, the tech to enlarge people won't be that hard to invent either ;) I am now yearning for a future story where Brian's innocence is proven (or not.. although I'd love to see it happen) and he is reverted back to his original size. I just feel like the relationship between him and Allie would evolve beyond a different level and would allow for a "they lived happily ever after" ending
As for the mentor, I didn't completely understand why she proposed Allie as a candidate to become a chevalier since she was against the SPAR, although I guess it was because she knew that eventually Allie would see how corrupt the system is and would choose to fight it, still a shame Allie had to kill people to end up realizing that.. even though she gave up her job I still feel she's a bit "stained"... Like a murderer who didn't commit murders because she liked it, but did it for the money, although I'm surely a bit biased because I hate the "did it for the money" people.. (Hence why I've started liking Cathy a bit more... seems like she enjoys being a chevalier and owns up to it for different reasons). Regardless I'd also like to see this mentor help prove Brian's innocence.
Finally (I think) I may have not paid enough attention at some point of the story but I didn't quite get what was the supposed body that Allie showed Cathy on her phone.. It was mentioned that they "both knew what it was" but I just couldn't put my finger on it..
So to sum it up!
1. Thank FUCK Allie ain't a chevalier anymore. Thanks for that
2. Is Cathy purely a chevalier for her own sexual pleasure? I would love it if you could answer this... it would make her that much better in my mind.. ;)
2.1 Tbh if I was a normal sized male in your universe chances are I'd go date Cathy, she has something mischevious about her, maybe we'd make our own games on account of some shrinkies' "fate" ;) after all I'm sure double shrinkie sessions are not a normal occurence but it'd make for a spicy relationship! So just chuck at her a pair of doc martens boots that have some shrinkie bodies stuck between the soles and some blood on them for fetish reasons, and she is my go to giantess gf ;P
3. After writing the review my doubts and worries go down, I don't really think Allie would hurt Brian in any way..
4/5. Oh I just squealed with excitement when the relationship started (mind you I'm a 21yo bearded male.) and would love to see how they treat their urges with their size difference, and would especially love to see how it would go if Brian returned to normal size
6. I've come to hate the SPAR. I absolutely love stories on this site about cruel giantesses killing people for fun and pleasure but goddammit something about people making a job out of it and making money out of it just sickens me so fucking much. I stan this mentor, hopefully the SPAR gets thrown out the window and with it everyone involved. After all we all know that killing shrinkies for fun and not money is a much more fun way to live.. ;)
7. BRIAN IS INNOCENT and I want someone to pay for his false accusations... but i doubt that'll happen!
8. I'll go re-read the previous chapters but WHAT WAS ON THE FLOOR IN ALLIE'S PICTURE?!?
That's it.. my longest review yet! Hope it doesn't bore you to death lol. If you ever do decide to do a spinoff or "next book" as you put it, or even an epilogue that takes place in the distant future I'm sure we'd all love to see that, if not, I guess we'll have to be satisfied with what we've been given!
If it isn't too much to ask, as usual I would love your opinion on my comments/ideas/speculations (Yeah... I like my closure a lot xD )
All in all from me this story gets a solid 11/10! I really liked it and I'm glad I didn't find it earlier cause I would hate to wait for all the chapters to come out one by one..! although you did a brilliant job delivering them quickly one after the other!
Here's to hoping there's some sort of continuation!
- Peter AKA Hozanga.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I really appreciate that you decided to keep reviewing until the end. I love your detailed thoughts. I'm happy to go through your points, I hope I answer everything!
1) I'm glad to hear that you enjoy how Allison quit being a Chevalier! That was definitely one of the main ways in which I wanted this story to end. It's kinda like the two end points I wanted each character to reach are: Allison quits her job, and Brian learns to open up regarding his trauma.
2) It's not necessarily one or the other, but I envisioned Cathy as addicted to the sadistic aspects of the job. Her belief in the SP is something she tells herself in order to justify her addiction. I thought this would be more interesting than her being fanatical about the SP. Also, this means that in a potential future where Allison and Brian are fighting against the SP, it's not entirely clear if Cathy would end up as an enemy or ally. I hope that answers your question!
3/4) I'm happy that you liked how Allison and Brian ended up together! Their relationship was what I wanted to focus on. So, if there ever is an epilogue or something, you can be sure that it will remain a focus!
5) I totally see your point about the permanent aspect of the SP. I'll keep that in mind if I decide to do that kind of ending!
6) Yes, there definitely is something gross about turning misery and punishment into profit. This is kinda sorta maybe almost me making a statement about for-profit prisons (wink wink).
7) For sure, *if* the mentor is the one who got Allison the job, she's definitely not a completely moral character. Even if it was with the intent to ultimately take down the SP, it still means she was willing to put Allison through the mental wringer to do it. Regardless, I'm glad you stan her!
8) This is probably on me, I should have written it better. Obviously the picture was a fake of Brian's remains after being crushed, and what was on the floor was just meant to be convincing fake. Whether they did it with makeup, ketchup, computer effects, that was a moment where as the author I just wanted to lampshade how they actually did it a bit. The point is that they somehow managed to fake his remains. As a sidenote, when Cathy notes that the picture 'looks impressive,' that's actually her hinting that she knows that the picture is fake. She's not saying that Allison was impressive, she's saying that the picture was impressively faked! Good thing Allison didn't notice.
Thank you so much for the long review! I love them, so no worries. I'm overjoyed to see your rating!! It means a lot, and thank you for reading my story!!!
-Pluto
Date: January 09 2021 7:24 AM Title: The Path
I think you should add an extended ending where Brian's innocence is revealed then leads to revealing thousands of convict to be innocent mixed with the guilty and Cathy wails like a baby and gets shamed by public and gets suicidal thoughts of her being a sadist about killing men she didn't know were innocent. Brian and the girl tell her to not go through with it and the authorities promise to do better. If you don't want to do a second book then it's okay since I think you might have other ideas in your brilliant head or might be busier. However, do you what you feel might be right to you.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review! An extended ending or epilogue is definitely possible, since people seem to want it so much. I can't say for sure though. Regardless, I'm really happy that you enjoyed the story!
-Pluto
Date: January 08 2021 6:42 PM Title: The Damage
I really love the psychology of the characters, in my opinion is one of the stronger points in the story, the relationship of Brian and Allison is also so lovely!
Author's Response:
I'm glad to hear that! I definitely tried to make those things the focus of the story, so I'm glad you're enjoying them! Thank you for reading.
-Pluto
Date: January 07 2021 5:22 PM Title: The Damage
Hmm, you've got my gears turning trying to flesh out the story with the snippets of world building given. If almost all Chevaliers are chosen based on public questionaires given out by the government that are hidden pysch evalutions, then I'm convinced that all Chevaliers have been classified as sociopaths by the government and they are tapping into their use. It explains why Allison is an outlier. She was recommended by someone with influence in the program. Her quick and simple executions, and her borderline breakdown when confronted with the knowledge that an innocent person CAN be put into the program, show that she doesn't meet the standards of what typically comprises the psychosis of a typical chevalier.
It also establishes the first of my two theories for the world. It's all one big psychological experiment. Like The Enclave from the Fallout series vault programs, a powerful government may simply be tinkering with society. It's how Allison's law professor can tie in with being the one who recommended her for the program and secretly being a member of the program that implemented the SPAR system. It strikes me as odd the successful defense attorney turned prominent law professor willingly spoke out against the system and got publically punished, while at the same time "someone" involved in the justice system would recommend Allison to be a Chevalier and yet Allison can remember no one else that could warrant her recomendation.
My other theory is simpler; it's a system made too simple and easily corrupted. Bad people with money and corrupt officials simply worked away at the once strigent rules and protocols of the system to take care of people who were inconvenient to them.
Both theories are sending innocent victims to the Chevaliers, but in different ways. The secret experiment theory has the controllers falsifying records, staging disappearances, and slowly lowering the requirments to condemn people to SPAR to study how society takes it. From mass shooters to a single murder with circumstantial evidence, no violent crime, or even no crime at all how low can the bar be lowered and still have SPAR be justified in the publics eye? It also has the big brother, Allison we been watching you this whole time reveal.
The corruption theory is simply more and more powerful and influential people over time build a network of corrupt judges, lawyers, cops, and prison wardens to eliminate people who are an inconvenience to them. Soceity gets used to SPAR punishements and it gets easier to simply plant evidence and accuse anyone of even a single murder placed as long as the bribes have been given.
The question is if the whistle gets blown and either the experiment or scale of corruption are exposed, what will society do? When dozens or hundreds of innocent and dead victims are identified, where will the blame go? The premise that was established is that society always wants a scapegoat. So will the blame fall on experimentors or corrupt officials sending innocents to their deaths, or will Chevaliers (now exposed as sociopaths complicit in murder albiet unknowingly) face a public outcry of being punished alongside the schemers?
If we do get justice for Brian, I'm curious who the big player skilled or powerful enough to open and overturn his case will be (assuming it's not the law professor) given just how much blind outrage his trial generated. And if the the fact that only shrinking and never growing can be done by the processturns out to be a lie.
P.S. Personally, I don't want to see Brian re-unite and make peace with his family. I know it was for the plot, but did his mother really allow herself to be completely out of the loop in her son's trial? And didn't find the circumstances of a two minute trial and sentencing the least bit sus?
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading! I love the detailed analysis and interesting theories. You have some great evidence supporting both of them. I'm glad you're finding the story and world to be interesting!
As for Brian's mom, she was definitely cold, ignorant, and dismissive. I think what primarily fueled that, though, was the public outrage she was facing. The whole country was attacking her as an extension of Brian, snd she was being overwhelmed with hate. The whole thing moved very fast, as well, since he was sentenced two days after he was accused of committing the crime. Still, that means she was willing to immediately throw away her relationship with her son to protect her public image, so she's absolutely in the wrong. It would take a *lot* for Brian to ever forgive her. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 07 2021 1:05 PM Title: The Damage
This chapter was a great follow up.
I saw someone else comment on how it would be for Cathy to wind up shrunken with Brian, or Brian to return to normal size, etc.
So many ways you could go ahead with this
To be honest, part of me was contemplating what if Brian had done it, and there was going to be a moment where he's cleared and reutrned to normal, and Allison learns the truth but Brian is already gone and she's like "Oh god....what have I done"
Part of me wants Brian to be proven innocent (and his mom can fuck off, bitch not even believing him for a moment, no fuck her) and publically apologized to and cleared of the crime. And all the cops and lawyers, etc who basically framed him, should be shrunken down.
Cathy I either want to be punished (and shrunken) or maybe some grovelling for forgiveness if it's shown Brian was telling the truth like get her on her knees and begging for forgiveness XD Like she needs some consequences, surely.
You really nailed some emotional points here for me, and I hope things turn out well for Brian and Allison.
Also Allison....get another job, seriously.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I'm glad you found the emotional moments compelling.
I think at this point, as the author, I can 100% confirm that Brian is actually innocent. I never intended for him to have actually committed the crime. I just don't think it would be a good idea to reverse everything I set up just for a dark twist. With that being said, there are still plenty of things to speculate about in regards to the characters and the ending!
I hope you enjoy what happens next!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 07 2021 12:33 PM Title: The Damage
Perfectly written and thoroughly capturing. This chapter really pulled on the heart strings. Well-done.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I really appreciate it. I'm glad that the emotion came through for you. I hope you enjoy the (potentially) final chapter!
-Pluto
Date: January 07 2021 10:25 AM Title: The Damage
Guess I'll keep reviewing till the story is over!
Hardly feels like it's about to be, if I'm being honest!
I'm glad that Brian ended up being innocent after all (I thought about how the words might've triggered some psychological trauma) and I'm also really glad you decided to have Allie find out about things in this chapter
I can't bear the thought of Allison executing even one more tiny so I'm intrigued to see what she'll do with her job... hopefully it won't be her job for long...
With regards to the story ending there are so many things I can think of that can happen, and I'm interested to see what's going to end up happening since we only have 1 chapter left!
Allie could find out how to re-grow tinies and re-grow Brian, meaning they could get in a normal relationship
Brian's innocence could be proven, somehow clearing his name
Allie could quit her job (which I really hope she does... I get that the pay is good but it's just so obvious she's not fit for it.) to devote her entirety on Brian
Allie could also somehow prove that the SPAR is an unethical way to treat convicts and could get it banned all together, that would be an interesting plot twist!
As for Cathy, I'm a bit of the vengeful type so honestly, I would love it if she somehow got shrunk and confronted outside the confines of the SPAR space, maybe she gets confronted by Brian himself if they end up at the same size!
The less vengeful option is for her to just somehow either feel guilt or find out Brian is innnocent... I do really want her life somehow ruined though xD
Oh I just love speculating! If I had to choose, my favorite scenario would definitely be Brian re-growing to his normal size and Allie quitting her job. Just opens up so much more room for intimacy between him and Allie as he would be able to interact in a different way, he would be able to embrace her for a change, and Allie quitting her job/banning the SPAR would redeem her in a huge way in my mind and give even more space and time for the aforementioned intimacy (which we've seen so little of thus far! I'd love to see their relationship finally properly develop.. they've only kissed once after all, and even that wasn't that mutual, Brian was shocked the entire way ;) )
Cathy can die for all I care xD (morgue, I know) but I'm honestly fed up with her and the SPAR.. I feel like this is a story of liberation, not a cruel giantess type of one
Anyway I've rambled on too much with my speculations! Great chapter as always, and again, loved how Allie found out about Brian's trauma in this chapter and you didn't keep it for another chapter!
Keep up the great work!
- HOZANGA
Author's Response:
Thank you for your continued reviews! I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the chapter, and that you'll continue to review until the story ends!
There are definitely a lot of things that could happen in regards to the ending. I'm happy that you enjoy speculating! You're absolutely right that this isn't meant to be a cruel story primarily.
I hope you enjoy what happens next! I look forward to hearing what you think.
-Pluto
Date: January 07 2021 9:27 AM Title: The Damage
Will Allison's friend apologize if Brian's innocence is proven' I want that bitch to actually feel bad and want to feel psychology damaged like she did to Brian.
Author's Response:
It's hard to say to what extent, but it would definitely bother her. Thanks for reading!
-Pluto
Date: January 06 2021 3:20 PM Title: The Discovery
I need to admit that when the previous chapter finished, I literally thought "If I were Brian, I would act as if Allie was torturing me", it took me completely by surprise when you did exactly that same thing xD
Great chapter, keep going!
Author's Response:
Great minds think alike! By that I mean yours and Brian's, of course. Thanks for reading!
-Pluto
Date: January 05 2021 10:26 PM Title: The Session
I just binge-read this whole story, and... I'm in love with it!
The premise of the wrongly convicted young man rescued and smuggled out by his lovely would-be executioner is really interesting!
Brian and Allie are so adorable! Their dynamic is so sweet and cute, and I am rooting for them/shipping them so hard!
I must admit that, when I saw "Gentle", "Feet", and "Humiliation" in the tags, I was hoping for some teasing footplay from Allie, but with Brian's asexuality, that kind of play wouldn't be as intimate as I like, but it could still be affectionate, playful, and fun! (I must say that I enjoyed it when Brian was kissing Allie's toes, but it wasn't exactly under ideal circumstances... ^^; )
Also, speaking of Brian and Allie's sexualities as their relationship deepens, it makes me wonder what Allie's "second goal" is... ;)
In any case, I am intensely curious to see this story continue!
I wanna know what's about to happen in the aftermath of the "session", and overall how/if Allie will ever clear Brian's name so that they can get their happily ever after without having to hide!
Maybe Brian himself will become famous after the world realizes his heartbreaking story and sympathizes with the handsome young man who's now sentenced to live the rest of his life smaller than a mouse for a crime he never committed. I also wonder what their reaction to Allie would be. The brave, beautiful young woman who risked it all for the little man. Maybe the public would come to adore their story, and they'd become a cute celebrity couple of sorts, with their voices becoming the strongest in advocating against the Shrink Penalty??
But now I'm specualting... Maybe they'll have to stay in hiding forever, and Brian will go down in history as a heartless child murderer... :(
I hope not, though!
In any case, this story is wonderful! It's one of those stories on here that I enjoy simply for its own sake! I'm embarrassed to admit, but I ususally only come to this website to... get some relief (as Allie put it, lol ^^; ), so I am genuinely and pleasantly surprised when I find a story that I enjoy for the story and the characters! Definitely going in my "adorable fluff that makes me sqee" folder!!! ;)
Keep up the great work!!!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for reading this story! I'm really glad that you're enjoying the premise and characters. I hope you enjoy the way Allison and Brian's relationship develops from here! We'll find out what Allison's new goal was pretty soon.
There are definitely a few ways this story can progress in regards to clearing Brian's name (or not). I hope you like the way it proceeds!
I'm really glad to hear that you're enjoying this story for the story and characters! It means a lot that people are enjoying this story beyond the fetish content. I'm honored to contribute to your fluff folder!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 05 2021 8:06 PM Title: The Plea
I'm not sure if that's what the last reviewer wanted to say, but now I'm thinking: it would be great to see an ex-chevalier getting the shrinking penalty!
Not that I'd endorse such barbarism, (I do u.u), but the mere thought of this role reversal is thrilling me.
I'm not asking you to ruin this story, but maybe it can be of ispiration for future ones :P
Author's Response:
That would certainly be a way for Chevaliers to gain sympathy for the convicts! Something like that probably won't happen in this story, but there's a lot of potential for stuff like that in future stories. Honestly, if somebody else wanted to write a story in this "Shrink Penalty" universe, I would be totally fine with it.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 05 2021 4:15 PM Title: The Session
Come on, that was a walk in the park. That must dawn on Cathy as well. Time for round two. That's the thing about their arrangement: Allie is almost as much at Cathy's mercy as Brian. There's no time limit, no turn limit - strictly speaking there isn't even a weight limit outside of Allie physically stopping Cathy and shooting her job and probably her life as well as Brian's to the wind. (I mean, unless Cathy somehow ends up dead or God-forbid on the wrong end of the Silver Strip)
Meanwhile, Allie has to start and make Brian at home. Cathy's intent on teaching Allie bears some intrigues, I think. Plenty of room for things to go even more wrong. I'd love some more world building to really get into the ethics of that whole death penalty 2.0 thing. Might just be something for Brian to spend his time on while Allie is away.
Great work as usual.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! Yes, Allison and Brian have to figure out how to deal with Cathy's future sessions. It can only get worse from here, and a lot can go wrong if Allison refuses to indulge her.
There's definitely a lot of room for more worldbuilding! I probably won't get into all of it before this story ends, but maybe in another story. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story, and I hope you like what happens next!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 05 2021 3:14 PM Title: The Plea
From Brian I felt the same anxiety I had on the 15 minutes long oral examinations back in school. I know it must have been terrible for him. I can't even imagine what Cathy does to the unlucky prisoners who happen to get in her way on full sessions, or to those poor souls she secretly keeps home;
she seemed rushy, the poor girl couldn't give the things she wanted to do the right amount of time, I was sensing how she was burning inside of eagerness.
I expected the part in wich he couldn't get an erection! It was laughable to see Cathy blush while her twins were hanging out at the man neutral expression, although I hoped he actually had a shy boner and Allie would have realized with disappointment he was lying about his asexuality.
Who knows, maybe he was just too scared to get one; but in any cases, the way he reacted to all the insults about him being a child murderer gives me more and more suspicions. He didn't tell us the whole story.
Anyway, I hope Brian is doing fine the next chapter, though i'm already seeing him rolling back and forward in a corner after experimenting a tad of Cathy's torment LOL, cheers!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! It definitely would have been extremely scary to be in Brian's situation during the session. I'm glad that anxiety came through for you.
Cathy definitely wanted to do more! You're right, it's hard to think about what she does when there are no restrictions.
I'm glad you enjoyed Brian's lack of a "response" to Cathy! I also thought it would be funny. As for Brian's response to the insults, it's definitely suspicious. I'll go into it next time! I hope you enjoy what happens next.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 05 2021 1:50 PM Title: The Session
I can see you put a ton of work into this chapter, and it clearly paid off. Well-down. As a reader/fan of Brian, I'm hoping he's actually innocent. I mean, even if he wasn't, I don't believe in cruel and unusual punishment (no matter how satisfying it may seem in certain scenarios). I also realize the grayness of life, and how a seemingly good person can do terrible things. But still, I just don't see how Brian could do something like that. There's been no evidence throughout and I feel like we'd catch a small glimpse of something off. So yeah, I'm hoping as a reader and for the story that he is in fact innocent but perhaps harbors the guilt of not being able to save him. I want the happy ending with him and Allie. Also I don't buy the whole asexuality thing with him. It's a mental front. Something related either to past trauma, or experience to protect himself. It's learned and something I hope you explore with Allie, where she successfully breaks through.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! Yes, this chapter was particularly tough for me to figure out how to do right. That's why there was a (relatively) long delay. I'm really glad that you and others have enjoyed it!
Brian's response to the session will be explained in the next chapter! I hope you find it interesting. There certainly is more evidence than not that he didn't commit the crime, but his reaction was questionable.
I hope you enjoy where the story goes from here!
-Pluto
Date: January 05 2021 12:43 PM Title: The Session
Brilliant chapter! really glad Allie didn't end up enjoying torturing Brian.
I have to admit, the part where Brian got really ticked off by them calling him a child murdered has me a bit anxious...! It's got me thinking that maybe he isn't innocent after all, which would really suck but that's the only reason I can think of that justifies his emotions since Allie knnows he's innocent therefore why should he care what Cathy thinks? :( unless of course if you somehow manage to make him guilty but also make him still end up with Allie... As you can tell I'm rooting for Brian to get the girl!
Excited to see how the story progresses! keep up the great work!
Author's Response:
Thank you for reviewing again! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and the fact that Allison is not going down a sadistic route.
Yes, Brian's response to the torment is definitely odd. It will all be explained next chapter! I hope you like what happens.
-Pluto
Date: January 05 2021 12:12 PM Title: The Session
Damn, this was a great chapter (as all of them have been)
But had some great content (Personally I loved the feet scenes XD)
Plus seeing Cathy's tactics and torture methods beyond just the physical, when she kept emotionally attacking him about the 'murder'
Part of me wants Cathy to get some redemption, actually learning the truth about Brian and helping allison.
But at the same time, I doubt you're going to go that route.
Am excited to see the next chapter however :)
Author's Response:
Thank you for reviewing again! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. Yes, I wanted to show how Cathy will jump on any method of torture that she thinks is most effective, mental or physical. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 04 2021 3:10 PM Title: The Discovery
Uh-oh... Not gonna lie, it was more or less clear that this was going to happen, but it ain't bad. I wonder what Allison actually did with her cellphone. She wouldn't mess with the timer, now, would she?
Anyhow, looking forward to a long 10 minutes for Brian. The real question is whether Allison will like it. I saw Brian stuck having to find something new to give his life meaning. Looks like he's receiving some help with that.
[Report This]Date: January 03 2021 9:18 PM Title: The Discovery
Totally see how the car ride scene from Spider-Man: Homecoming served as inspiration. I lied, I like where this is going. As long as Allie and Brian survive with a happy ending I'm good lol.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I have to admit, after your review for the last chapter I was a little concerned that people wouldn't like the direction I had planned for this encounter. I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying it! I hope you like where it goes from here.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: January 02 2021 6:17 PM Title: The Plea
I was disappointed when I read that this story couldn't last more than 20 chapters! But this means I will enjoy your other stories in the future.
This chapter makes me think even more that Brian is more than what he says about himself. He seems so smart and so good at acting that he could either be a clever psycho or a spy. But I'll take that those are just my speculation and not the writer intentions. He's a good boy I guess :P
Cathy seems instead very naif. She still believes in friendship, and I wasn't surprised when she revealed she had "toys at home" too. Her naivety and cruelty makes her look like those evil cats in the child toons. I find her sexy, but I'm defenetely on Allie's side.
As for Allie, she's in the position where she could be blackmailed by Cathy if only she wanted too, so she shouldn't undervalue her and should let their friendship die very very slowly. I'm wondering what will happen in those 10 minutes session.
If Allie is going to stop Cathy's joy by being too soft with little Brian, so that she doesn't call for more couple playings in the future, or if she's going to comply. And I'm also wondering what kind of torture the mischievious kitty Cathy has in mind.
Anyway, here I'll link the drawing. I pictured the SPAR room to be cold, with a dark shadow and a black corner. My Allie doesn't wear a ponytail, and I probably shouldn't have dressed her with an "electric blue", but I'm not disappointed with the overall outcome. I hope you enjoy too.
Also, the man that should be Brian is tied to a small tiny chair. Something that was not shown in your story. As for the title, initially I thought "They call me Justice" but it cringed me a bit, so I kept your story name instead XD, and I linked your story to the drawing description.
I had another picture in mind, a colourful one, but I'm not sure if I'll do it, I'm a bit stressed this period.
https://www.deviantart.com/bletc/art/An-Innocent-Man-865836502
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I'm sorry about the length of the story, but it makes me really happy to hear that you enjoy it that much. I hope you enjoy where it goes from here! We still have a good bit left.
Yes, at this point it's probably safe to say that Brian is actually innocent. He is very smart and good at acting, but those are things that happened as a result of his wrongful conviction. With that being said, it doesn't mean that he is being completely honest and real with Allison all the time, though.
Cathy is definitely letting her desire for Brian cloud her judgment a little bit. I love the comparison to cats in old cartoons. There definitely are a few ways this session can go, so I hope you enjoy what happens!
As for your picture, I love it so much!!! You did such an awesome job, thank you so much! The details are fantastic, with the office supplies, document, name tag, and sign in the background. You definitely nailed the cold, metal, and dark vibe of the SPAR. I really like Allison's expression, and I actually really like the addition of the chair. I never imagined that somebody might want to make art based on something I wrote, so thank you again! Don't worry about doing another one if you're stressed, I definitely understand. These are stressful times, take care of yourself first. Regardless, you did an awesome job, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
-Pluto