Date: October 09 2020 3:45 AM Title: The Inn
Good story. The setting is very unique. It puts a refreshing spin on the shrinking virus scenario that gets a bit overdone in this community. I like the teasingly antagonistic relationship between Anja and Marce too.
Date: October 07 2020 8:11 PM Title: The Inn
A decent start for your story, i wonder where will you go with this idea.
Giving the exposition at the inn felt natural, wish you had done the same at the start too. I'm not going in to the details about the mask but it used differently in those times.
The most troubling part was there were no tension, everything was normal (boring) and all of a sudden our hero saved by a grunt and uncanny dodge, honestly i felt nothing it was too sudden. I think the problem is you didnt foreshadow it, maybe innkeeper should have said something unusual or make an action to make her suspicious in a way.
Also i dont get inkeeper's motives here, why did she abduckted the tiny apperntice why did she tried to kill the doctor? She wasn't caring for captive tinies, just bare minimum, she also wasn't using them (if she did they sould talk about how traumatic the experiance was). If she just robs the tinies then why did she attacked the doctor? She preys on tinies i understand, its easy money but why would she risk to fight a tall woman.
[Report This]Date: October 07 2020 2:31 PM Title: The Inn
Great first chapter!
The characters have distinct personalities, and the setting puts an interesting twist on the concept of a shrinking virus. I'm curious what time period you emvision this to be. I'm getting a medieval vibe, but you mentioned a gun, and then there's the fact Anja is a woman, which probably wouldn't fly in that time period in our universe.
I'm excited to see what happens next!