[Report This]Date: June 11 2008 9:10 PM Title: The Final Show
Thanks for writing this for ME. If anyone has a problem with what he wrote....BRING IT.
Date: April 20 2008 9:17 AM Title: The Final Show
Hi sage! Good to see an other story from you! As expected, i loved it. The 2nd person genre is difficult enough and you do a great job with it. And the whole imagery is top-notch. thanks for a great story!
Author's Response: Thanks man, I tried. This was a difficult write, but more due to real life than the actual story itself
[Report This]Date: April 20 2008 3:18 AM Title: The Final Show
Don't let the things called "facts" ruin a story. I didn't really care about the blood cell thing at the end. It could have been nutrients or something, a part of the body like other stories use, but I think the ending is good enough. Close to her heart...
I could also point out that the potion would only last a few hours and isn't it that the human bones are not digested, but passed through the system? (It's mentioned in a lot of stories, it could be a misinterpreted bit of information.) Since they're affected by the potion, when the effects wear off, it would probably be pretty painful and mostly fatal when it happens...but of course, "facts" shouldn't ruin a story
I'm not too much at understanding roleplays, but when you mention that this story is based off a roleplay you made, it looks a bit one-sided. Was everyone roleplaying the same character, taking turns in acting out what's next to them? I like roleplaying a lot, but nothing sexual. I prefer the guns and action type of roleplays with heroic characters and explosions.
Oh, not a bad story by the way.
Author's Response: Okay, thanks for the comment, and since it’s multilayered, I’ll try to layer my response, to make it more easily legible.
First off, the whole blood cell thing was what I thought would be good while writing it. This story had no planning at all to it, I just wrote as I did. About the only thing that was planned was it was to be a guitarist, female, and the voyeur a male. Body adventure, feet, and vore were the only things planned, besides the coffee shop venue for it, everything else I made up as I typed.
Next, the bones. It is true, normally bones are incapable of being digested completely, but this is due to their density. Calcium is absorbed by the body as much as anything else, bones are just such a tightly packed form of it that normally they’ll make it through if you’re a two inch human, if somewhat pockmarked. In this case, he was far smaller than that, and so they were fully absorbed.
As for the RP thing. This wasn’t based on any RP I’ve ever done, it’s something I call an RP greeting. I do them for friends and stuff. Just scenes, usually of their favorite type of fetish. Originally it was done with crush lovers so they’d play vore with me, but it became something I do just for the hell of it, or when I want something from someone(Say pics, stories, or the like).
[Report This]Date: April 20 2008 2:34 AM Title: The Final Show
At the end you wrote: "As your remains were filtered into her, she got her wish, a single red blood cell bearing what remained of you through her body, and then sticking inside her heart, forever more."
Red blood cells has a life cycle of about 90 days so even if his remainings are inside the red blood cell, it dies and new blood cells are created.
Source: My biology book
Author's Response: True, though honestly, none of this is possible, so I say, artistic License was involved in that last line.