Reviewer: Xiao-renzhe Signed [Report This]
Date: September 17 2019 3:13 PM Title: Chapter 1

Really good first story! You actually had me rooting for the little guy in this one. I was silently praying that he’d somehow maintained possession of the device during the “ordeal” and would just beam out of her stomach in the end, and have a helluva time approaching her about the bizarre experience later. But, alas, as I said regarding your other story, I always enjoy a vore ending for want of a “happy” ending.

In terms of writing and style, there was only one glaring error that stopped me up in my first read through in the fifth paragraph. Looks like you omitted the words “hear the” before “mutterings.” I always like it when others take the time to point such things out to me, so I hope that’s helpful.

Otherwise, I really enjoy these crisp little voyeuristic vore vignettes you’re putting out. Keep it up!