Reviewer: NRawkGTS Signed [Report This]
Date: August 29 2019 10:56 AM Title: Singularity - The Okeanos, Mash/Francis Drake/Euryale

There can never be enough FGO content, especially when it invovles so many of my favorite Servants.

Sadly, I do have to dock you a couple points for the treatment of my waifu Medusa, but I do understand that my sisters-in-law would treat her that way.  I have serveral sets of favorites in Fate depending on the criteria, like Drake would be a great companion to go out and have a drink with and her charisma made her the most memorable Servant from Extra for me, while Jack is my precious daughter who gets to stab who she wants when she wants to lol  But personality wise, Medusa (and by extention her Lancer form and Gorgon) are my favorite, with Lancer Artoria and Passionlip sharing second and J'Alter, Mordred and Altera taking third (I know, I'm a bit greedy lol)

It's great that you got into and are enjoying FGO, I'm a day one player and haven't missed a day yet.  If you have some space on your friend's list, I'd be happy to add you!

Oh right, and my thoughts on the main focus of your story!  The characters were well written, though I see Euryale (at least in Okeanos) a bit more detached and aloof from the rest of the cast, but you didn't make her outwardly act like she was trying to be friendly if that makes any sense.  Of the two, I like Euyale better than Steno and she's actually usefull, so she always gets a passing grade from me.

Mash was cute and reserved, with is refreshing to see since most of the community want to portray her as a thristy af borderline yandere who is just waiting for 'Senpai' to use all of their Command Seals so she can pounce.  Definitely best kouhai.  10/10, would dive up that perky little bum again.

I don't get to see much love given to Francis Drake too often, so I immediately was more invested in reading this than usual.  I was impressed that you included that back in her days, regularly shaving wasn't common, you wouldn't believe, or maybe you would, how many stories are set far in the past but all the women are always perfectly groomed, it's always been a pet-peeve of mine.  She felt rough around the edges and slightly crude and depraved in her lust, which fits.  Let her keep them unwashed pits!

 

My one 'major' critism (it's really just a nit pick), is that when a Master uses a Command Seal, they generally say something to the effect of "I, [Master's name and/or Title], order you by Command Seal." and then state their order, but again that isn't a hard and fast rule.

Great writing as always!  Can't wait for your next story.

Author's Response:

Honestly, your points are valid, fair, and I understand your reasoning. That said, Medusa is Euryale and Stheno's toy. You'll have to deal with it. >:P

If I'm in a good mood I might even have her younger self use her older self as well for ultimate degradation! But that's more due to the nature of the three sisters so things are subject to change. ;>

I appreciate your review in its entirety and I'd be more then happy to add you. Though, if you've been playing from the start that might be an issue if you meant the japanese servers. I'm on the english ones. Master name is Grimahr. 

 

I'm glad you liked my portrayal of the servants, even If I might have been off with Euryale in the story. I wanted her goddess side to stand out more then her affectionate one, so I wasn't trying to make her magically fall in love with her master for that reason. That said, all the servants in the game share a sense of loyalty or affection of sorts with Ritsuka after they join her, so I was trying for something akin to this feeling coming off her once she found out her new Masters secret. I also wanted it to be a bit of a throwback to what her and Stheno did to Medusa in the past, and possibly this made her a little homesick, so she indulged. 

 

I cant agree with you more though on the accurate portrayal of hygiene when it comes to latter generations. While there certainly was more then advertised by history book, pirates were notorious for being filthy due to living conditions in the past. I figured Francis Drake would be no exception, even if she was a woman. I view Anne Bonney, and Mary Read in the same light as well, and my one regret was not being able to fit them into this story. I planned to actually have them be the ones to confront Ritsuka in the end instead of Euryale and Stheno, but for plots sake, I couldn't roll with it properly. Regardless, I will use those cute little lesbians, though they'll probably end up using Ritsuka instead. >P

 

As for the topic of Mash i can also agree with you, but to an extent. She never came off as Yandere to me, but she certainly does seem to want a relationship with Ritsuka in my opinion which is why i went with the route i chose for her. I think shy, and timid suits her personality. She was protective when it mattered but when it came to her feelings those were more reserved and needed a bit of a push to come out. I plan to progress her as the stories go on, but by the end, (If I ever get through ever servant in the fate universe) She might just end up like that as a gentle dom to her loving Master. Certainly not a homicidal yandere though... o_o

 

Also, I apologize about the command seals. I'll try to rectify this in the future. I might just have to if stabby daughter gets a little to knifey with her Mommy. ^_^ 

Reviewer: ikkle Signed [Report This]
Date: August 21 2019 1:01 PM Title: Singularity - The Okeanos, Mash/Francis Drake/Euryale

I really loved how this both seemed in character for the characters and was non-stop material. Good writing, voice changing and ideas.

My favorites are Kiara, Martha and Sanzang and I’m a big fan of foot stuff. (Maundy Thursday for Martha?) Agartha obviously kicks any femdom ideas into overdrive as well.

Author's Response:

I sadly haven't gotten to Agartha yet. I'm trying to take the singularities slowly to enjoy the story as much as I can. That said, however, it definitely looks like it will be a lot of fun to write about from what I've already seen. :P 

 

I also approve of your servant choices. Kiara was one that I've been thinking a lot about actually. Her powers could add a fun twist to the stories. It will be a bit before I get to her though. I'm not quite ready to pull the trigger on reality bending just yet. :3