Date: May 17 2019 8:43 PM Title: Chapter 1
I think this story is pretty good. The first chapter is spectacular and provides great world building. I was hoping it would go in some different directions in the later chapters, but is still good. Hope to see more here in this storyline.
[Report This]Date: February 27 2019 10:53 AM Title: Chapter 3
I really enjoyed a male action and sex scene. Though the "inside" ball ideas I didnt like so much because thats not how it works, haha. But still good story.
Author's Response:
hm, yeah, i had to take a few liberties around the actual biological aspects, but i did try to incorporate more accuracies than not. I’m sorry it didn’t quite do it for you. I’m glad other parts were worth the read. Thanks!
[Report This]Date: February 27 2019 10:45 AM Title: Chapter 1
Nano or true micro stories are totally my favorite : )
[Report This]Date: February 24 2019 5:28 PM Title: Chapter 2
You're one of the few names I've come to remember on this site. All your stories are well written, creative and many of our interests overlap.
Man, I did not realize it had been two years since you uploaded your last story.
Author's Response: Wow, that is an honor! Thank you! I am glad that I can provide some coverage for the (in my opinion) under represented interests we share, lol
[Report This]Date: February 23 2019 3:59 PM Title: Chapter 2
An unexpected direction, yet a very well executed one. Not much to say here, except that the second chapter retains its predecessor's quality.
Author's Response: Glad to hear it! Hopefully chapter three will continue the trend. Thanks for reading!
Date: February 20 2019 3:24 AM Title: Chapter 1
This was an interesting idea, and it was enjoyable to read! Well, "enjoyable" might not be the best word, I really felt the betrayal and I think you wrote it very well, and the idea of them synching their minds really helped bring out the drama and emotions (which I love in SW fiction).
I am just curious if you have plans to continue? I am really enjoying the character dynamic between Sara and Rose and would love to see where it goes, though I can also see this working as an ending.
Either way, I look forward to whatever you write next!
Author's Response: Hey, thank you! I kind of lucked into the synced mind thing. I needed a convenient means for Rose and Sara communicating that kept James out of the loop, but then I really liked playing with how their emotions melted together and how they handled all of it. So, a win-win! Hm, yeah, so I am definitely entertaining a few possibilities with these characters. I don’t yet know if they will be added to this story, or if I would make sequels. Beyond a possible alternate universe type deal where I rewrite the events of the second chapter with James being aware, I think I have wrapped up my intentions with the FM/f. So, going forward, the story would shift toward other structures. And I like having limited tags for a story, so that someone who wants “FM/f”, or whatever, isn’t hunting through chapters for just that content. I don’t know if others share my feelings on that, or if it makes sense for this particular set of characters and their stories.
[Report This]Date: February 15 2019 2:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
A very good beginning to a new story, one of the best I have seen yet. You achieved a near-perfect balance between character portrayal, environmental details and exposition. The story flows effortlessly so far and does not attempt to get to the "good stuff" for the sake of getting there. Sadly, many authors decide to focus entirely on macro/micro interaction and neglect both plot and worldbuilding parts. I hope you avoid such a mistake and serve us a truly special story; for the time being everyting is well and the tension between characters is almost tangible.
I will not give you any advice on where to take the story from here, it is yours to create and suggestions may disturb your own vision. As a sci-fi/fantasy lover I care more about plot, characters and detailed world than "stuff", so wherever you go, keep the balance and make sure the turn of events is logical, given the laws that rule your world.
Author's Response:
wow, to start, thank you for the thoughtful and rather detailed review! i love getting such a clear sense of people's thoughts!
that is some high praise! while this is ultimately what i would classify as a "wank piece", i am still trying to color it fully, and give it more life than just the "scenario", ya know? i will strive to keep the balance as i do head into the "stuff", as that is the direction things are headed.
ah, exposition and natural worldbuilding are things i'm always trying to improve on, as a writer, so i'm glad those elements came across!
again, thank you!
Date: February 15 2019 1:34 PM Title: Chapter 1
Always a pleasure to read your stuff. Love the chapter, the only thing I'd say is that I'm a sucker for happy endings and karmic retribution.
Author's Response:
holy shit, my stuff? i hadn't realized anyone would recognize me, considering it's been almost two years since i last published anything, lol! thank you!
honestly, I'm also a sucker for happy endings and karmic retribution. i'll definitely be considering that after i get through my more depraved material!
[Report This]Date: February 15 2019 12:54 PM Title: Chapter 1
Really loving the story so far. Part of me's really wanting to see James shrink Sara and stuff her away somewhere as well. Looking forwards to seeing what happens either way!
Author's Response:
thank you! hm, so solo giant male with tinies action? juicy!
Date: February 15 2019 12:43 PM Title: Chapter 1
Nice story. Is it bad that I hope James did do something, and gets mad at Sara, and to keep her quiet forces himself on her, getting Rose trapped in Sara's baby maker(or any other way she gets trapped in there) Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response:
thank you! well, I can't deny it's a bit fucked up, but it's also almost to a T what I'm considering doing, so... like minds, i guess, lol
Date: February 15 2019 11:02 AM Title: Chapter 1
Cool start to the story.
If you want some suggestions, I am not into Giant male, but the way the story is going, perhaps James over powers Sara, shrinks her, takes her and his girlfriend captive and introduce his girl he has on the side that set the whole thing up because she is an evil bitch that wants james all to herself.
Anyway Hope you continue the story.
Author's Response:
Thank you!
Ah, so you want the wholly evil, fully aware take, lol. I dig it! We'll have to see where the mood takes me.
Date: February 15 2019 1:08 AM Title: Chapter 1
The few ways being? Personally I just hope he gets a taste of his own medicine. It is, ironically, a pretty dick move.
Author's Response: Yeah, I have a few sliding scale items I am considering: how unaware James remains. How drastically things escalate. How far things actually go. It kinda comes down to plausibility vs drama. Haha, it is very much a dick move, on his part and mine. And it would certainly make me a better person to give him his just desserts.