Date: December 11 2018 11:55 PM Title: Chapter Fifteen
Oh man now I’m super freaking excited to see what Melanie has planned in the next chapter! I know most of my reviews can get kinda repetitive but I feel the need to add some positivity to these negative reviews to show you that there’s a lot of us who are in love with what you’re doing to the story. I mean sure I agree Melanie is protected by some plot armor but really, you could make that case with practically all fictional stories. It’d be difficult (near impossible) to create a story (especially one about a girl who shrinks and kidnaps women) without even just a little plot armor, so I don’t understand all the vast negativity about it in this story. Keep it up and can’t wait to read more, especially if there’s more vore/crush ;)
Author's Response:
Indeed, I do feel a little bit of plot armor is sort of expected and, to a degree, mandated to make the narrative flow the way it's intended. A crazy giantess's fun being stopped by something too mundane, it doesn't make for an exciting tale. Ha, but I do see the critiques of my plot and appreciate them. They certainly don't deter me.
Thank you again! For another review! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well~
[Report This]Date: December 11 2018 7:57 PM Title: Chapter One
Seen enough cop shows to know where this is going Ardrainls 'choice' will be basically kill some innocents or lots of innocents (maybe with even more vore... great...).
You write well, but depending on the next couple chapters I think I am going to put up the lemon juice and salt. Perhaps if Ardrain would pick up the lemon, salt and razor Mel could be moved from always present hurt everyone around me (though some justification of insane parents, still not enough) and expect my crush to love me.
The plot armor or armored plot, the inability of Ardrian to make the obivous threat that would stop Mel butt cold, Ardrain telling she hurts another person she hurts herself, she kilss another person her crush kills herself leaving Mels already hollow life a complete VOID, at this point she knows she doomed and for her to continue to 'play' with Mel is only going to get innocents hurt and kill.
We'll see what devolps, though the storyline seems more like flaggeting oneself at this point...
Author's Response:
Wherever your expectations may be, it's my hope you enjoy the story as it continues! Chapter sixteen is up, so perhaps you will see more of what angle I'm going for. Thank you for the read and the review~
[Report This]Date: November 30 2018 8:22 PM Title: Chapter One
this story is kind of reminding me of dexter. you kind of want him to get caught but you also want him to keep going.although dexter mostly did his thing with criminals and really bad people.
I cant believe this is the first time I've commented on the story. Im pretty happy with it so far. Definitely agree with plot Armor stuff, but same with dexter and I'm doing my best to forgive it. The part I'm having trouble with is how the main she's not the brightest bulb. At least dexter was super smart.
Anyhoo i get pretty excited when I see new chapters. Keep up good work 😊
Author's Response:
Oh, you should give Melanie some credit! Dexter is an adult and a professional in both his career and his hobby, whereas Melanie is still just a bud, a college student that's only been up to crimes for about a month! Give Melanie some time and she'll be a fully developed psychopath with experience under her belt. Or something. Besides, isn't her dull wits a charm point? It really pushes the terror of what's happening, how a girl that's far from a genius supervillain is able to inflict so much torment. Or, maybe that's just something I'm into...
Regardless, thank you for the review, and for all the reading! I hope the chapters ahead continue to entertain~
Date: November 30 2018 1:21 AM Title: Chapter One
A story featuring characters of difference sizes does not immediately make it a fetish story, nor does a story being on this website make it inherently sexual. A lot of people in the community do not read stories for sexual gratfication.
The author also seems to be writing the story to tell a story they want to tell rather than simply make smut, from what I have seen.
[Report This]Date: November 30 2018 1:15 AM Title: Chapter Fourteen
Y'all know this is a fetish story, right? Lol. I've never seen a story on this site pointed out for "letting the giantess character win" too easily. Like that's what people are getting off on here. That's the point.
[Report This]Date: November 27 2018 6:22 PM Title: Chapter Fourteen
Excellent!
You've almost humanized Mel more than she maybe ever has before and I look forward to seeing Nicky's march towards potential freedom.
Author's Response:
Again and again, you come in with such a nice review~ As always, I appreciate the review and the loyalty to reading my story! It means a lot!
Date: November 27 2018 6:18 PM Title: Chapter One
Curse Crazy,
Just three things that could impact if you want them to...
1. Candi's car, high-tech, luxery and a cop Car, 99% GPS, 90% other tracking, my HMMWV back in the desert likely had less tracking on it then her car.
2. Why doesn't Adrain just use and repeat (and so no doubt in meaning) the oldest/truest statement about love "if you love something let it go, if it loves you back it will return." Meaning Mel needs to let them go if she loves Adrain otherwise she just a trinket to posses, a spock in his never opened box. Which leads to...
3. if the story is about hopelessness, then by all means the girls should be hopeless, meaning they don't eat, they don't drink, they know their lives are pointless so they do the barest minimium Mel expects of them, they don't talk to her, they bare the pain and ignore to the best of thier ablities the pain of others and they are looking for a rope to end it all. Adrain most of all, they should be united in just trying to sleep, endure, or place their minds outside of the torture, infact they should be just spiteful enough to tempt Mel to end it, at current better then the lives they have. So they either John McCain it (stotic) or find a rope, jump off the table, ect cause they all know that even if Mel's caught or killed they will be stuck at the same size and with all the mental trama. They would be doing themselves and families a favor if the story is about hopelessness by ending it all, or basically living like emotionless shadows.
For this part I wish I could PM you, but you did say if I have a story I should write it.
As for writing a story I have posted my Prolouge to "A War with no Graves", I am not very skilled at writing, but it will be a long five book cross over (Battletech/Titan Empire). My lead is going to hate themselves for what they do in book 2, they are also going to pay for it at the begining of book 3 (so much so that the hero who does the punishment almost loses themselves like the lead almost does toward the end of book 2). The lead will do everything right, they will indeed make it "A war with no Graves" the lead will limit damage outside of military and goverment, the lead will heal and reconstruct, but even with all they do, the lead will hate themselves for one reason 'bringing volecence and pain on people who did not deserve it.' in 99.9% Mel and my lead are polar oppisites but in bring volience and pain to those that don't deserve it they share one point and all it takes for a hero to fall is one flaw, or a villian to be redeem is one right action.
I believe you to be a skilled writer, I am not, however even in the worst days if not hope, there is comradiery, no comfort then coming together, in pain and torment people can find strength and brotherhood, The Hanoi Hilton, WWII Concertation camps and the fields of Combodia even without magic was 10x worse then Mel, I think the girls can find their own code of conduct.
Thank you for your time.
Date: November 26 2018 10:53 AM Title: Chapter Fourteen
@DSG, wish there was a better way of replying to other people lol but no, your reviews are actual constructive criticism. I was mostly talking about 2 others lol
Date: November 26 2018 5:30 AM Title: Chapter One
Oh I did not realize there was a new chapter when I wrote mt last comment, but I just read it.
It was a shorter chapter for you, and it was largely damage control for the last chapter, but it was a nice enough read. Seeing Adrian's reacton to whay she did, and Mel's reaction to her reaction, was nice. Personally I feel that removing some power from Mel and making her second guess herself a bit here made her feel like a lot more... not relatable but well rounded, like a person who feels things. Not much plot progression, but I am eager to see if anything comes of Nicky's guest.... I mean.... even if we might both know it won't happen, but who knows. X3
EDITING this reivew to make a comment for Ghostwriter44: I hope you don't mean my reviews, because if you think what I am doing is bullying then I do not know how to help you. Not to mention the author has responded positively to my reviews, and getting different viewpoints can be helpful; also no one has told the author to write what they want, in fact I have done the opposite, but giving advice to fix possibl structural issues in the plot is not anywhere close to that. No one is stopping you from enjoying the story.
Date: November 26 2018 5:00 AM Title: Chapter Fourteen
Seriously man, keep it up. This is for real next level writing on this site. It’s so freaking terrible reading all these other reviews on this story. It’s one thing to give constructive criticism or voicing an opinion, but it’s another to say blatant exaggerations saying this is “just another vore/crush fest” (when not only has there only been 1 chapter of 13, at that point, that contained vore or crush, but the build up to it and the writing was like no other and the vore/crush wasn’t used just to be there for fetish reasons, it for sure furthered the plot by showing the path of psychopathy/power greed Melanie is furthering down) and straight up bullying you into writing an exact story that they want. Some of em legit are sounding like the girl from Misery tbh lmao. Coming from a guy who practically ONLY likes the vore/crush stuff, I have literally no complaints about the other 12 (now 13) chapters that have none of that stuff because I am just in awe at the pure skill you have at writing compelling storylines in this genre. I can’t wait to see where this story goes!
Author's Response:
Thank thank thank you~ I'm just happy to inspire reactions from people, even negative ones. It means they're invested! They care! With a story like this, I knew from the beginning I'd probably have a few negative reviews, especially as the twists and turns came up. It really only makes me eager to see how they'll respond to future chapters. Thank thank thanks again for another review!
Date: November 26 2018 4:55 AM Title: Chapter One
I have got to say, the "plot armor critique" is not misapplied in my opinion, and even when you tried to argue that against by saying the plot is to keep her protected... well that is kind of plot armor. It is less that she is staying in power though, it is more HOW she is staying in power.
Mel does not really DO MUCH to keep herself in power, things just sort of.... happen to keep herself in power. The last chapter with Erin and Candi showed this especially; none of what happened was anything Mel planned for or part of her evil plan, things just worked out for her perfectly, the plot served her the solutions to her problems on a silver platter. This happened with capturing Erin as well, and in many other parts of the story.
The last couple chapters especially have been full of plot contrivances and that is what is frustrating me and other readers that have commented I'd wager. How the story is going doesn't make me feel particularly despaired or like "oh won't someone stop mel?", it makes me roll my eyes and takes me out of the story. And while again I know you have your plan, but I do not think that pulling readers outside of the story is ever a good idea when you want them to suspend their disbelief and get invested in the character drama.
Not to mention you talk a lot about Mel's power, but the way the plot protects her so much with contrivance after contrivance, it makes her feel weak. I don't believe Mel is a threat, honestly she feels like one of the most weak willed and unintelligent "giantess" chars I have read in a competent story; I don't worry about Mel or think she will do much, I worry about how contrivance will push the story. If that is what you are going for I suppose that is fine, but it seems at odds with what you are saying you want to do.
You have your idea and following it is important, but at the same time I do have advice to give, and that would be to better map out what will happen to make the story beats feel less contrived and more purposeful; if Mel is a cunning threat to be feared that should reflect in the plot. She should be the one making the power plays, not the plot contriving things in her favor. I think having Mel solve her own problems without things just happening for her, or having to rely on herself in a tough situation (like with Candi) would go a long way in having the story feel less contrived and also possibly better suit your vision for a powerful yandere type character.
Also a little off topic I think I did have a different idea of what yandere was before reading this so that is on me... though a yandere usually seems like madly in love with someone, so I assumed the story was going to a sort of ultra possessive to a violent extent romance story, so that was where I was coming from.
Either way I am interested in seeing where you go from here, glad we did not scare you off, I am always afraid that a little tough love might make writers leave, and I don't want that.
Author's Response:
Thank you for another in-depth review! Unfortunately, I don't have much more to say than what I have said previously. Much of what's in this review I can only digest, I don't really have any direct responses.
Though, I will comment on Melanie's strength. I want to say I disagree about how "weak" Melanie is, but the truth is, you're not wrong either. Melanie isn't a juggernaut, really. She's a college student, a pretty lazy one at that, with very little will. You can see this with her first interaction with Scarlet, when she succumbed to anything Scarlet said because she was scared of her. You can see it in most of her normal sized interactions in general, she's a waif in this regard. However, I'd argue I've done at least enough to show that she is cunning to a degree. She knows how to lie to people, and she's crushingly mean to those that she finally has an advantage over. She stalks people, she executes plans to kidnap them. Perhaps it's not the most impressive use of her abilities -- she's no Light Yagami or Dexter -- but with the resources she has, I'd like to think the image I've made for her, when all context is considered, is that of a truly unhinged girl.
At the same time, the theme of the story does indeed empower her. I've touched on this a little bit more in the most recent chapter, and here and there elsewhere, but Melanie strongly believes in the "fate" of things. The fact that when she is cornered, and yet still succeeds, is part of what enables her into thinking the way she does. If things happen so cleanly in her favor, then she must be right. It must be fate. This must be true love.
I doubt I'll be scared off by any critique, so you and others are free to keep writing reviews! Even if the story starts showing some unrefined edges, that's fine by me if you call me out. I'm not seeking to create the perfect story, I'm just trying to put out there my story. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!
[Report This]Date: November 11 2018 8:11 PM Title: Chapter One
Couple of things, Mel has more plot armor then a battleship as mention by Ugly, nothing ever goes wrong for her or right for her captives. If this was mere supsion of disbelief girl would be in jail or dead by now. Enough of that...
You just killed two potentailly awesome characters. Erin could of been Mel's demonstration of good intent to Adrain. Mel instead of torturing the others could of been researching on how to remove the curse and Erin could of been her freebie, and she would of gotten vast amounts of good will for even trying, but instead you go with the tired cliche of "if you don't kill this person I will kill this person (or persons in this case) how much dust did you have to clean off that one???
Also Candi, Mel could of corrupted her over chapters, the torture, trying to bring Erin back, the dispear of the others could of had the dective crack. She could in pain ask for something like, "go ahead kill me, but the next person you shrink and torture have them deserve it!", Mel could respond "maybe I think you do!" to which Candi with some defiance "what of all those rapists and murders?" as she passes out. As Candi is corrupted, Mel slowly becomes evil that feasts on evil, she becomes bolder as she hunts down with Candi's help those fel beings and shifts ever so slowly on the 'innocent' girls, she slows down on her torture, she starts treating them more humanely as she has evil that is worth the pain she inflect that she can take true delight in inflicting.
Finally Mel finds out how to reverse the curse (or finally deciedes to), Candi like the FBI agent in Boondock Saints converts to her cause, even considers Mel a goddess as she is returned to her normal self while helping Mel persue their warped vision of justice and allows Mel to curse her back to 'worshiping size' when she has free time so that she can please Mel. The other characters could be freed with their minds wiped or be part of the gang helping Mel gain more and new powers as they feed off of the corruption and filth of the world.
You could of gone so many ways, but you offed two very intresting characters for what I would consider a quick high. Shame, now this story is like everyother crush and vore one out there.
Author's Response:
I did, indeed, kill two potentially awesome characters! And from a certain perspective, I'd say they fulfilled their awesome purpose -- to be thematically deleted, one right after the other, when no reader would expect that.
It sounds to me you have a story in your mind! You should write it down and make it your own. However, this is my story, and this is the avenue I want to venture down. From one angle, perhaps it does sound tired and cliched. From another, judging by your response and others, it also seems to me that you didn't want this outcome, or didn't expect it. In that case, I congratulate myself! That is the intended effect I wanted to have. What you have written down in this review is, indeed, a path I could have explored, and it's one I genuinely thought of and humored for a time. However, that isn't the story I wanted to tell. I have had no aims to write a story where Melanie "converts" or "redeems herself." She is maniacal and wicked and empowered by cursed magic. At this point in the story, there's no space in her heart to be anything other than this.
I apologize that my story has come to a head for you, but I don't apologize for the experience I made of my own. You wrote quite a detailed account of how my story could have gone, so I encourage you to write it! I really do -- I know it's easy to sound sarcastic on the internet, but I really do mean it, if that's the story you wanted, then perhaps I can inspire you to put it out there in the world. Create your own characters, tweak your own plot, and make that ending you want work! But Endless is Endless, my own story, and hopelessness is the engine. If that doesn't appeal to you, then you have unfortunately read a story that's "like every other crush and vore one out there."
I believe the "plot armor" critique, while valid, is also somewhat misapplied here. I think that it's less that Melanie has plot armor, and more so that the plot itself is to keep Melanie in control. The aim of the story, at the end of the day, is to create and showcase a character that any reader would want to see stopped. You and others want Melanie to be defeated, or for her to stop her own evil, and yet it never happens. It's painful, but that isn't by accident. I've structured everything with this element in mind, that Melanie always maintains her power and that she uses that power for malice and selfishness.
Thank you for the review! I of course encourage you to keep reading~ I hope there's more to Endless that fancies your interests that you can look past the parts that aren't up your alley. As the last dozen chapters have shown, there isn't actually that much vore and crush content, so I hope you don't mistake this chapter as the "turning point" where I just start getting crazy fetishy and violent. Well, fetishy... we might already be knee-deep in fetishy, but outright killing, not so much!
[Report This]Date: November 09 2018 7:03 AM Title: Chapter Thirteen
Not sure what some other reviewers were expecting clicking on a story specifically prefaced with "yandere"
Author's Response:
Heehee... Perhaps the idea of yandere has been watered down over the years? I'm certainly used to the yandere aesthetic being something like this. In fact... usually a little darker! I'm only aspiring to be like the greats, I could certainly do better. Or, worse?
Thank you for reading~
Date: November 09 2018 4:38 AM Title: Chapter Thirteen
I'm glad you liked my first review! Because I feel I will have to be a little more negative with this one. One review already mentioned the lack of certain tags which... I suppose that is hard to say either way, but I definitely felt like I was reading a different sort of story than what I signed up for originally.
But mostly I need to go back to what I mentioned about having victories for the small characters. I get what you are going for, a well of despair and a dark story, but I think this chapter took it to a worse degree: put bluntly Candi was killed off so fast it feels like she had no point being in the story, and it feels like my time was a bit wasted. Like you threw the character away so quickly, it makes her buildup as an actual threat, or just anything, feel even more pointless. Erin was also not really used much at all during her time as a small girl; she spent most of her chapters tied up and largely speechless only to become a plot device that gets discarded in this chapter. We lost two really interesting characters and I do not really see what for... to make us hate Mel? We already do, she's pretty insufferable. It just makes me as a reader wonder why I got invested in these characters if they could be expended so easily without really doing much or using their interesting traits.
Really this chapter does not move the story forward much at all, and it makes the deaths in this chapter feel unearned and cheap. The chapter just seems to want to revel in how evil Mel is, which I as a reader do not need because we already have plenty of that. The story felt like it took a backseat here, especially with the more sexual/fetish material in the chapter.
The only bit that really felt like like it progressed the plot to an extent was the choice at the end, though again it felt unearned, darkered than what the story originally proposed, and... I know you said she has a weird way of showing affection and all, but it feels like she hates Adrian and is trying to torment her. Like, there's being tone deaf, and there's forcing your crush to kill someone. It just feels so incongruent with how we are told Mel feels for her.
Also... why didn't Adrian threaten to kill herself? She has like the ultimate bargaining chip in her hand... if Mel really feels as she does threats of self harm should have at least like... come up, but maybe that is just me.
You wwanted to see how long readers would think this could go on for, but as generous of a goddess as I am it's more how long it can go for before I lose interest. Having a dark, depressing story is fine if it is what you want, but it is not always what someone wants to read. It's kind of like an art film; if you have your vision then that is important, but intentionally unbalanced storytelling may alienate audiences.
Sorry if I seem a tad harsh, it's not to be mean; honestly if I do not like a story I simply do not review it, but it's because this one is so well written and has so much potential, and has been pretty good minus some frustrations, that I want to speak my mind on it. I also do not think you should change your vision to suit anyone else, I have tried that and it leads to issues, BUT I want you to know my thoughts as a reader in case you are interested in them. Also I might not be the exact target because I am not reading this story for sexual fulfillment like AT ALL, I'm reading almost purely for the narraive (and hopes of F/f affection), so I understand my opinions might be different.
On the good side the chapter was well written and you avoided a lot of cliches with writing the vore segment which is good for you and other readers. I thought the little bit with Mel's nose was a neat touch too.
I look forward to seeing what happens next! Shrinking a detective should have some massive reprecussions that should be interesting to see, and seems like we will be seeing some more character develoment for Adrian, should be a good read!
Author's Response:
I'm always down for the more critical reviews! It's like I get to open up my readers' brains and get to see what's going on...
I apologize that the turn this story has taken is not to your liking. I do sympathize to an extent, I don't think the average giantess story keeps itself this thematically attached to despair. However, my story is more than just an appeal to a giantess infatuation. It's a direct appeal as well to yandere and that entire aesthetic. A crazy girl that just can't be stopped, an obsessed maniac that only seems to be spiraling into darkness. To a reader like yourself, it may seem that I'm just dragging on with this detail, that Melanie is "very evil." However, that is very much the exact purpose of this story. The charm of Melanie is that she doesn't stop, and even when you think you understand her limits, she will gleefully surpass that expectation.
This is why I killed Erin and Candi. The expectation is that they must be fairly safe, for so many reasons. They're the newest characters of the cast, Erin's curse became unique, and Candi has a special background. These details separate them from the others, who a reader would think is closer to an expiration date. Disobeying those expectations is exactly what I wanted. To Melanie, these people are not "characters" that serve her a narrative purpose. These two especially were enemies, threats to her one way or another, and she had no mercy in regards to disposing of them. It was my intention that you would become attached to these characters, only for them to be insultingly eliminated by Melanie.
I'm a little unsure what you mean by "darker than what the story originally proposed." On a meta level, I did begin the story with a note that this is a love letter to yanderes, which is a dark theme inherently. Perhaps we disagree here, but I don't think I've proposed anything lighter than what I've written. A dark story that gets darker and darker. That's what's happening. But, this feedback does help me! It's something I can keep in mind for future projects, at the very least.
Adrian is more complicated a character than I think people may get the impression... I feel I could always write her better, but I don't want to give away too much of who she is too blatantly. There's a lot of story to still have her develop in! I don't want to give away too much too quickly. In regards to using her life as a bargaining chip, the best answer I can really give is that she's too altruistic for that "opt out." She doesn't want to die, of course, and she knows enough too that killing herself wouldn't actually save Erin or anyone else. Melanie will still exist with or without her. Furthermore, suicide is pretty diffcult for someone that tiny! I mean, she could throw herself off the desk, but in the moment like in the last chapter, how could she without being caught mid-fall? Suicide realistically isn't a threat she can idly make, nor is it one she wants to commit to. I sort of wanted to use Scarlet to touch on this subject, actually, but I see that perhaps the message wasn't connected properly.
Haha, of course this story is not for everyone! I don't expect everyone to like it, or for everyone to like 100% of it. As you said, this is my story, and it will be written the way I want. This is the story I wanted to write, this is the story I wanted to share. Fear not that you might come off as mean or overly negative! In fact, this response and others like it prove to me that I'm accomplishing what I sent myself out to do, to write a story that gets under people's skin, one way or another. If that sensation is dismissed as poor writing, that's a wound I'm willing to take.
Again, thank you for all this feedback! I hope you enjoy the next chapter and those beyond.
Date: November 07 2018 5:31 AM Title: Chapter One
Please put Violence, Crush, and Vore in the categories so people know what to expect. That was disturbing.
Author's Response:
I've added those tags to the story. I tried adding crush and vore when I uploaded the chapter, but I'm still fumbling around with this website and I guess I messed it up. Sorry for the mix-up~ I know these tags can be quite important in sorting through the content folks want and don't want.
[Report This]Date: November 06 2018 8:00 PM Title: Chapter Thirteen
Story of the year right here.
I have literally no idea where this ends up.
Author's Response:
Thank you thank you~ You're too kind! I'm glad I can keep my readers guessing from chapter to chapter~
[Report This]Date: November 06 2018 5:10 PM Title: Chapter One
Great another series where the villian has 'invincible' grade plot armor. Cindi was WAY to easily gotten rid of and she could of been a morality pet with Adrain, she was also written way to weak for a harden dective. So more torment of folks who may deserve it, may not when you have actual rapist, murders (now to include both main characters, though one was under deress) and worse that Candi may of been able to talk Mel into hunting rather then Co-Ed and their dates.
No it's going to turn into another Vore fest (which for those who like it just copy and paste the other 10,000 stories on this site, God forbid something new and less dark might entertain you) in which Mel litterally gets away with murder after murder when any police force would of had two squad cars at her apartment the moment Candi went dark with others ready to go on such a high profile case, and yes they would have body cameras at this point if Candi didn't already have one herself, they would notice if for some odd reason wine was shrinking one or both of the officers, so the second pair would going shooting, but hey lets go from suspension of disblief to out and out fantasy. 'yeh' PLOT ARMOR,,,,
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I always appreciate feedback.
I do apologize if the tone of the story isn't to your interests, especially at this particular junction. I know not everyone is into vore, but it's something wild and derranged -- something Melanie would absolutely do to one of her enemies. I disagree that this is becoming "a vore fest," so far it's just the one person being vored after all! Which, compared to many other stories around this site, I'm currently in the low estimates of vores-per-chapter. I'm sorry that the vore was off-putting to you, especially if this was a make-or-break part of enjoying Endless. I know now I did not have it tagged appropriately, so I can understand how this would be surprisng.
Indeed, that would be a very realistic approach to this story! If a pair of cops did, in fact, come to interrogate Melanie versus a single private investigator. Perhaps that could have made a more compelling story for you and others, but a realistic representation of a police investigation would have only slowed my story down. As you yourself can see, Melanie would have easily been caught. That's not a very exciting ending to Endless, right? At least, it isn't in my opinion. To be frank, I found myself stuck in this situation: do I just shy away from the fact that people are going missing, and that Melanie would look suspicious? Or do I have the world respond appropriately, which in turn would lead the story to a pretty abrupt end? I had to choose a middle ground, and this approach looked most fun for me, a detective that gets the reader to think, "Finally! Someone that can stop Melanie!" only for her to then be embarrassingly defeated in the very next chapter.
I will finish my response with this thought: this story is not meant to be a happy one. From the very beginning, I wanted a story of hopelessness. I didn't want to be too on the nose with my other responses to past reviews, but I don't perceive Melanie as a villain. Well, not necessarily. She's the protagonist, and this is her story of magic and love. Of course it would be a cleaner and more traditional tale if Melanie had a match to contest her, but that isn't the force I have opposing Melanie. That isn't the story I'm trying to tell.
I know I might have sounded harsh in this review~ I just wanted to reply genuinely since you did so as well. I hope you continue reading Endless and find more to enjoy! Perhaps my reply here might clear some of the air.
Date: November 06 2018 3:15 PM Title: Chapter Thirteen
Yes!!! This was everything I had been waiting for from this story! Definitely my favorite chapter of a giantess story ever!!! Thank you so much for delivering us this pure masterpiece. It’s disheartening to see so many want Melanie to finally get hers (as I’m not a fan of that in these kind of stories, but to each their own lol. I really hope you don’t go that route but I also know you gotta appease the majority and yourself). Hope you continue to turn the notch up on this story, which you seem to do after every chapter somehow! I can’t thank you enough for how awesome this chapter was and how perfect this story is as a whole. Can’t wait to see what torment Melanie dishes out, to her toys she has now and any newcomers that she may gather up!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! Indeed, the intensity keeps getting dialed up, doesn't it? But for now, I'm letting there be a bit of a breather while the story bridges into the next arc. Let it be known, though, the craziness isn't over just yet! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story~
Date: November 05 2018 4:12 PM Title: Chapter Twelve
This chapter was absolutely worth the wait! I love the two tiered shrinking and the capture of Candi. This series is awesome! Too bad about Erin though - I wanted to keep her:)
Author's Response:
Haha, ahhh... I know this chapter took awhile to get out! I've been pretty slow lately with updates. I really appreciate the patience my readers have, it means a lot.
I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the doubled-up shrinking! It's hard to resist the allure of multiple sizes, and it fits so well with what I wanted. Unfortunate for Erin, isn't it? But it's great to hear you like her so much! Enjoy the next chapter!
Date: November 05 2018 2:24 AM Title: Chapter One
So I want to start off by saying that this is an excelently written story; you manage to be detailed but without letting the story get bogged down. The pacing of each chapter is mighty fast for their length, and the story really has me invested in the fate of these characters. It's also just really refreshing to see a story that works well as an actual story and not just fetish material; it feels like an actual thriller honestly.
However things are beginning to feel a tad soap-opera-y after this chapter. Honestly I knew how this chapter was going to end but I kept wishing Mel would have an actual threat to contend with (though I also like cat and mouse crime stories), but it's beginning to feel like the tired old story of the characters never getting a break or a win. It makes reading less enjoyable; Chapter 12 was a well written chapter, but when the characters we want to root for keep losing you begin to expect that things will not go their way. It made the twist a bit eye-rolling. I feel like a better balance of giving victories to each side, even small victories for our small girls, would make the story less predictable and more engaging.
Not that I want to tell you how to write you story, you should write what you want, I'm just giving you my impressions as a reader in case you are interested in that. I like the story a lot it is just beginning to become predictable.
But overall I like the story a lot and I want to support any author who writes awesome F/f content because there is not enough of that in the world! I look forward to reading the next chapter.
On one last night... I know the story is all dark and serious, but for how much Mel is in love with Adrian we really do not get much, like, affection and love for Adrian... is that intentional? In some ways not seeing it fits the story... but as a lover of F/f dub-con as fuffing rare as the genre is... just had to ask, heh.
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
This! This is a good review! That's what I'm talking about.
It's music to my ears to hear folks enjoying Endless as something more than wank material. That's really what I wanted, a giantess story that captured both the eroticism and horror that comes with these kinds of situations. Crafted to my personal tastes, of course! I sometimes wonder if the elements that I find cute in this story are elements people are more spooked by, haha.
I understand your issue with Melanie not having a real opposition. She seems unstoppable, doesn't she? It can be discouraging to see these innocent people be knocked down, over and over. However, I think discouragement and degrade are a critical theme to this story. Melanie is oppressive and cruel, and she has all the chips on her side of the table. She controls the world of these people and she's savoring every second of it. Narratively, it would feel better to have some hope for our heroes -- a fighting chance. Unfortunately, Melanie really is that unstoppable. When everything looks like it could finally work out for Adrian and the others... it's depressing, isn't it? Everytime, there's nothing they can do. She either has something figured out, or a miracle happens for Melanie. The atmosphere of this story, truly, is despairing.
Perhaps that's what I want to ask from my readers. How long can something like this go on? Doesn't it stop? It's a question I like to see my readers thinking.
I'm glad I can bring some exciting F/f content to the site as well! It is unfortunate, however, that the theme of this story doesn't have a lot of room for the lovey affection parts that you (and I) crave. I actually do argue about where to include the softer scenes, but a lot of those ideas take a back seat as I try to focus more on the thrilling adventure parts. And, as the story has picked up pace, it's been hard to slow down and show more sincere moments. But with that said, I think Melanie's concept of affection is abstract. She really does love Adrian, in her own way. She'd kill for her! That much can be said, right? Melanie is a dark person and her one-track love is equally as dark.
Thank you again for this review, and thank you for reading! I really appreciate this critical input!