Hi Helloman12,
Thanks for writing this intriguing and compelling story. I've read it eagerly up to the latest chapter (7), and will certainly look out for follow-ups.

I like how you move the story forward, and include different perspectives. Also, the different elements - how the character is high-functioning autistic (formerly known as Asperger) makes it great. It's also daring to write about the sexual interaction between siblings. (Of course, I'm here for the vore/mouthplay, but that's just me.)

In terms of encouragement/constructive criticism, the most important thing is that you keep writing. With practice comes improvement at all levels of skill. Something else that you may want to do (which I understand is a chore) is to go back and edit. There are some typos and small things. Another thing that would help is to write shorter paragraphs - especially when you're writing action and interaction. It makes it feel more fast paced, and it's easier to distinguish different elements and voices from one another.

But keep writing!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for enjoying and reading my story, I will definitely work on editing and reviding my grammar in the future. I had a hard time including the different perspectivves actually, I tried colorcoding the characters thoughts and perspectives but the... whats it called? The writing tools did not have that functionality. So, I will be going back into my stories to sort that out you know. But thanks for reading, I will be posting new chapters quite soon, in about 5 minutes or so. Thanks!